Cipher

“Why not?”

He sighed and propped up on one arm, traced the side of her face until she looked at him. “You saved my life. You did what you had to do, and you’ve tormented yourself over it. You don’t deserve to have me wondering if maybe you shouldn’t have done it at all.”

Her heart might have stopped beating. “If I should have let them kill you?”

Andrew hesitated. “Maybe.”

“I don’t—” No. No talking without thinking. Maybe it was cowardice that drove her back from the edge, but it was too big. Too much, and she wasn’t ready to traverse a path that could well lead them back to the ugliest truths of that night.

Instead she lifted her hand and touched his cheek. “I’m glad you’re alive.”

Amazingly, he smiled. “So am I, now. But it took a while, and I didn’t want you to feel that.”

She couldn’t find it in her to smile back. He didn’t know that she was the reason their attackers had changed forms to begin with. He didn’t know that she’d lost control and brought violence down on them.

For all her mockery of shapeshifter guilt, she was as bad as they were. Worse, because she didn’t even have the courage to own her mistakes.

“Stop.” There was a cajoling lilt in his voice, one she hadn’t heard in a long time. “Come on, smile for me.”

She didn’t have the guts to charge forward. But she didn’t retreat, either, and at least it was something.

A step.

Smiling, she turned to kiss his palm. “You should go back to sleep. Sera’s pulling an early shift at Dixie John’s tomorrow, and if I don’t turn up and let her yell at me, she’s going to be unlivable.”

Andrew brushed a kiss over her chin. “We can stop by for a late brunch.”

“Good. And after that…” The zip drive was buried in one of her bags, wrapped in a scarf for safekeeping. “You have a key to Alec’s place, right?”

“Course I do.”

“Instead of hitting the parts store or Craigslist, I thought we could head over there. He’s the only person I know who still uses a computer with a zip drive.” Though use might be a generous term. As far as Kat knew, the last time anyone had booted the damn thing up had been when she’d done it a year ago just to see if she could. “It’s worth a shot.”

The corner of Andrew’s mouth twitched. “You’re brilliant. If anyone’s going to be stuck in 1995, it’s Alec.”

“Then all I have to worry about is platform and software and encryption…” She closed her eyes.

“Andrew, can I ask you something?”

He wrapped a lock of her hair around his finger. “Sure.”

“Are we sticking together because I’m in danger? Or are we…starting something?”

He stared at her for a long moment, considering. “Starting something, or picking up where we left off?

Either one works, I think.”

“Except we didn’t leave off with crazy orgasms.” She settled her cheek against his chest, mostly because it was easier to say the words when she didn’t have to look at him. “We were so close to starting something. Or maybe we weren’t and it only felt that way to me because I wanted it to be true.”

He combed his fingers through her hair. “We were, but…something wasn’t right yet. Me, I guess.

People around here don’t exactly have nice, uncomplicated relationships, you know? Being comfortable, being friends… It felt so good I didn’t want to let it go.”

His heart thumped under her cheek, just fast enough to prove his casual words a lie. He’d been scared, and she could feel the echoes in him, as clearly as she could feel the pleasure he took in touching her.

“You were human,” she said softly. “I never was, not entirely. It would have been complicated.”

“It seems stupid now,” he admitted. “It feels like I wasted so much time.”

“No.” At least there was one thing she could reassure him about. “I skipped grades, a few of them. I graduated early, went to college early. I was never really around people my own age, so I missed out on the social stuff, and the empathy only made it worse. I was young a few years ago, Andrew. I wasn’t ready. But I would have been so afraid of missing my chance, I couldn’t have said no. Not to you.”

“And with both of us not ready…”

Maybe it would have worked. Maybe it would have been a mess, and ruined any chance they had.

Either way, there was no going back. “I know we keep saying we’re not going to talk about the big stuff, and I don’t want to, not yet. But I need something to hold on to.”

“I’m here,” he said simply. “I’m in it, Kat. Not going anywhere, and we can figure it out together.”

“So we have a thing.” It brought a goofy-feeling smile to her lips. “Can I wear your letter jacket?”

Andrew laughed. “They don’t let you letter in being a giant dork, remember?”

“Depends on where you go to school.” Peace settled over her, following the path of his fingers as he stroked her hair. She yawned and snuggled closer. “If you don’t have a letter jacket, we’re going to have to rethink this whole thing.”

“Obviously I’m worthless without one.”

“Obviously.” Another yawn, and this time she didn’t try to fight it. “Except you’re warm. And surprisingly cuddly, for a big mean council member.”

“That’s exactly what it says on my business cards.”

Chapter Eight

If there was one thing Andrew had never expected Alec Jacobson to master, it was videoconferencing.

The man avoided technological advances with singular dedication.

Still, necessity compelled even the most drastic changes, and it looked like it had dragged Alec into the twenty-first century. At least, it seemed so until the blurry picture on the laptop screen slid into sharp focus to reveal not only Alec, but his smiling wife as well. “There,” Carmen said. “I think that should work.”

Alec made an annoyed face, his lips tugged down and his eyebrows pulled tight together. “I gave up ten minutes of my life so Andrew could see how pissy I am over the fact that I can’t just use a fucking telephone. How is this progress?”

“Don’t be grumpy.” Carmen waved. “Hi, Andrew.”

He waved back. “Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all.” She kissed Alec’s cheek as she rose, and paused to smooth the frown from between his brows. “I’m going to make French toast for breakfast. Don’t forget we have that thing this morning.”

When she was gone, Alec sighed. “She’s bribing me so I don’t choke anyone at our ten o’clock meeting.”

“Must be damn good French toast.”

“Not that good.” Alec ran his hand over his disheveled hair and shook his head. “It is not a good time up here. John Peyton’s got some upstart on his council poking at him, and things are…unsettled.”

Knowing Alec, it was the understatement of the decade. “I wouldn’t have bothered you, but I ran into trouble in Alabama. Car chase that ended badly for the other guy, but someone might have gotten a license plate. I thought maybe you could call McNeely—”

“Hold up.” Alec ducked out of view and reappeared a moment later with his cell phone in hand. “I thought I gave you McNeely’s number. Maybe Julio has it.”

“Well, I have it, but…” But he wasn’t really in charge, wasn’t the one with the authority to call up a lieutenant in the New Orleans Police Department and ask for favors.

“Oh Jesus, kid.” Alec leaned forward until his face all but filled the screen. “Okay, listen to me. I’ve been letting this slide because you need to find your footing, and we’ve been between crises. But shit’s liable to hit the