Joshua as I headed down the stairs. I had been pulling out a fresh change of clothes when I'd heard the door.
“No clue,” he called down to me.
I unlocked the door, pleasantly surprised to see Adelaide standing there with her teddy bear in hand. It had been hand sewn and looked a little worn but she clung to it for life. “You're okay!” she squealed in delight and I bent down, wrapping my arms around her.
“Of course,” I smiled, hugging her tight. “I missed you.”
Adelaide laughed. “I missed you more.” She showed me her bear. “Guess what I named her,” she boasted proudly.
“What?” I asked with an eager smile.
“Olive.” She laughed, hugging me again. “Did you hear there's going to be a parade tomorrow?”
“A parade?” I smiled, glancing behind me as I heard Joshua coming down the stairs. “Did you hear that?”
“Sounds fun,” Joshua grinned, coming to sit on the bottom stair. “Hey there, tiger.” He laughed as Adelaide came over and hugged Joshua too.
“You'll be at the parade, right?” She nodded eagerly. “Please?”
I smiled, “How could I say no to that?” I glanced at Joshua. “I think we have to go to the parade. Adelaide asked nicely.”
Joshua laughed. “Well if we have to, then I guess it's settled. We'll be there tomorrow.”
I shut the door and watched from the window as Adelaide headed home. I felt Joshua's warm embrace from behind as I spun around in his arms.
“How did things go in Genesis while you were cooped up with Craynor?” he asked.
My face paled just thinking of Anita. “He killed the head housekeeper,” I whispered, taking his hand and leaning my face into his neck, finding warmth in his embrace. “Then Craynor told me and another girl, Lisa, to throw her in the trash.”
I felt him pull back slightly. My eyes looked up, seeing his widen in shock. “Wow.” He paused. “Come on,” he insisted, taking my hand as he led me up the stairs to our bedroom.
“We didn't listen to Craynor. Which just caused more problems for us,” I confessed. “We wanted to make a statement, so we burned her body on the front lawn of the property.” Joshua led me to the mattress and I took a seat at the edge of the bed.
“Seriously?”
I nodded, remembering what we'd done. My eyes stared down at the bedspread. “Jaxon helped since I couldn't get the wood to light.” I paused with a sigh. “Lisa and I got caught. I made sure Jaxon got away so that the plan would happen, even if I couldn't be a part of it.”
His hand smoothed over my back in soft circles. “That was brave of you, Olive.”
“Or stupid,” I admitted. “I ran into your father in the mansion.”
“That's not a huge surprise. He does a lot of work with Craynor.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” I wasn't sure if I should confess the reason Anita had been killed. What good would it do if he wasn't planning on returning to Genesis and seeing his father again? “That reminds me, there's something I want to do and I'd like your help.”
Joshua's forehead creased. “What is it?” he asked. I climbed off the bed and dug around beneath the mattress. “What are you looking for?”
“This!” I pulled it out, showing him my father's journal. He didn't say anything. I didn't expect him to. “I don't want it anymore,” I told Joshua. I shut the lights off and walked down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” I could hear his voice behind as he followed me down the stairs.
“To burn it,” I answered. “I need it gone. I need him gone from my life,” I confessed as I stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a set of matches from the drawer to take outside with me.
“Olivia, do we have to do this now?” He followed into the crisp spring air as I gathered things from around the backyard. I found a metal wastebasket and lit the match, igniting the pages inside. Slowly it burned, the leather seeming to take longer as the pages seared and curled into ash.
Joshua didn't say anything but he did stand beside me. I imagine he didn't know what to say. I didn't blame him for it. We'd both thought Gavin was different, a better man than he'd been. It was the closure I needed after visiting Torv.
“I wish I could burn memories as easily as you can burn the journal.” His voice was soft, almost accusing, as I turned to face him, dropping the book in the garbage. It was still on fire and the flames licked the pages, erasing the past.
“What memories would you want to destroy?” I couldn't imagine he had a terrible childhood. He had two parents growing up, and both seemed fond of him.
Joshua sat down on the back porch step and finally, a moment later, I followed, sitting down beside him. “Tell me,” I whispered, nudging him. I wanted to hear what was on his mind.
Joshua sighed, reaching for my hand. “There were things I saw, witnessed as a child that I didn’t quite understand.” He explained, “My father used to sneak out at night past curfew. I always wondered why. I couldn't fathom where he would go. I think he was having an affair.” I understood the weight of his words: it was illegal. It was one of the reasons Anita had been killed. People didn't have affairs in Genesis. As it was sex wasn't spoken about. Though just because it wasn't spoken didn't mean it didn't happen. I knew my parents conceived me naturally and though I'd never seen them hold hands or kiss, I understood what had transpired for me to have been born.
“Do you have something of his you want to burn?” I offered, giving a faint smile, doing my best to make light of the situation. I knew it sucked. “No,” he whispered, glancing at me. “I keep thinking about what Douglas and your father said. That my mother had intentionally chosen you to marry me.”
“Josh,” I sighed, feeling a heavy weight in my chest at the reminder of what we'd been through together.
He looked at me slowly, shaking his head. “I just feel…betrayed.” His voice was a mere whisper. “She lied to me.”
I ran my hand down his back, keeping him close to me. His body heat helped warm me, and I knew he wanted the comfort as well. “We've both been lied to.” It didn't make it feel any better. “I'm sure your mother thought she was doing what was best for you.”
“No.” Joshua glanced down at the ground. “She did it for you. She was more concerned about the rebel alliance and being a leader than what her actions would do to her own son. Doesn't that bother you at all?”
I hadn't quite thought of it like that. I chewed on my bottom lip, wishing there was something I could say that would make it better. “People don't always live up to the standards we set for them,” I reasoned. “Maybe she did this for you too? She found a way to buy your freedom,” I offered. In the end she had paid dearly for it with her life.
“Maybe.” Joshua didn't sound so convinced. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. “I just hate being lied to.”
I nodded weakly. “So do I.” It was something we had in common. Something that troubled us both. Our families had betrayed us, whether they intended to or not.
CHAPTER 28
I changed the next morning into a short cotton dress that hugged my breasts and fanned out over my hips. The dress had a floral print of pink and red cherry blossoms and though I'd never worn it before I knew it would look good. Surprisingly, Cate had made it for me, and brought it by the previous evening. As much as I hated her when we first met, she had grown on me.
“Wow, you look…” Joshua smiled, glancing me over as I noticed he wore slacks and a dress shirt. I hadn't asked him why he dressed up today. I didn't have time as I felt his lips find mine, and his hand rested on my lower back. “We can't be late,” he breathed against my lips, pulling back as he took my hand and led me out the front door.
