Single Wolf Female

and age, and I loved the freedom we had.

The Savage pack was self-sufficient. We didn’t need anyone. We especially didn’t need the Alliance.

And part of me kind of hated that we needed Jackson. The fact that he made me feel all weird and fluttery inside? Felt a bit like betrayal. Like being attracted to him meant I was somehow doing a disservice to my pack history.

~~ * ~~

The day was a long, long one.

By the time we’d finished running around the Savage Estates and touring our property, we came home and ordered pizza. I found that the rest of the pack seemed to be getting along great, with the exception of Len, who had returned but was still sulky. We all hung out in the living room and watched movies together, eating pizza and popcorn and chattering through the movie.

Holly held the baby, and I noticed that Dan sat next to her on the loveseat, though he was stiff and awkward.

I knew how he felt. I’d sat on the sofa and Jackson had promptly sat right next to me, draping his arm over my shoulders in a possessive move that Len hadn’t missed. I knew it was for show. Jackson had to push his role as alpha and my mate onto the others. Once they accepted it, they’d relax and settle in and things would smooth out. Len would step back into his role as beta and be fine with Jackson.

It was just me that was skittish. Me that had a hard time relaxing when Jackson’s arm lay over my shoulders or played with my hair. And when I yawned through the second movie and Jackson suggested that we head to bed? I was pretty sure that everyone scented my nervousness, even though no one commented on it.

We headed up to my room after saying our goodnights to the others. Our Victorian was split, bedroom-wise, and the alphas had rooms opposite from the rest of the pack. Our rooms were bigger than the others, and the room that Cash had shared with Joanne was currently empty. Jackson could always take that one once his dominance was firmly established.

But for now? While we were still establishing pack hierarchy? He’d be bunking with me.

And that made me nervous and on edge.

His hand was on my back as we entered my room. My bed was a full size and stood in the center of the room. I stared at it as I entered, painfully aware of just how small it would be with two normal-sized people in it. I turned and shut the door, trying to think. There was a chair in my room, but I was aware that Jackson hadn’t slept much last night. Putting him back in the uncomfortable chair would be unfair to him, and I needed him strong.

But I still hesitated.

“I can sleep in the chair,” he said, as if sensing my thoughts.

“No,” I told him. “It’s cool. We can share the bed. We’re supposed to be mated, anyhow.”

“You sure?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Oh yeah,” I said, making sure my voice was as casual as I could make it. “No problem.”

“All right, then.” He moved into the room and began to strip off his shirt. “You want the right side or the left side?”

“Left.” We were so normal about all of this. Like it was nothing. I glanced over at him from under my lashes and noticed his broad bare chest. He was unbuckling his belt and sliding down his jeans, and I caught sight of a pair of checkered boxers before I turned away again.

I needed to change, too. I could just strip down my clothing. Nudity wasn’t anything for shifters, especially werewolves, since you tore off your clothing before a change so you didn’t ruin it. I’d seen everyone in my small pack more naked than most people saw their spouses. But this was different. This was me, getting undressed to climb into bed with my mate.

But I couldn’t leave the room to change. What if the others noticed? Plus, I needed to get used to seeing Jackson naked - the full moon was tomorrow night and that meant a pack run. If I acted all maidenly around him then, it’d make things worse. Sucking in a deep breath, I turned my back to him, pulled my shirt over my head, and began to change out of my clothing.

I kept my eyes straight ahead, staring at the wall as I methodically undressed and changed into my sleep t- shirt. If he watched me, I didn’t notice. I concentrated on undressing and then tossing my clothes in the hamper. When I turned around, Jackson was already in bed - right side - and fluffing one of my pillows. I sucked in a deep breath, turned off the light, and climbed into bed next to him.

My bed was small. Way freaking small. Even when I turned on my side, I could feel Jackson’s skin against mine, his arm against my arm. I turned on my side, but then it meant that my ass brushed up against his arm. Didn’t want that. Of course, if I flipped around, my breasts would be rubbing up against him and my face would be inches away from him. Didn’t want that, either. I laid on my back again, staring up at the ceiling.

“Do you wanna talk, Alice?”

Jackson’s voice was ultra low, so low that I could barely hear it over the distant roar of another movie downstairs, and the low hum of conversation. He was deliberately trying to keep our conversation quiet, so the others wouldn’t pick up that we were talking. I looked over at him in bed, and as I did, he turned on his side, facing me. His scent overwhelmed my nostrils.

God, he smelled good. God, I was so nervous.

“Talk?” I whispered. “About what?”

“Me and you. You’re scared of me. I can smell it.”

So humiliating. “I am not.”

“You’re also lying in this bed, stiff as a board.”

I said nothing.

He rubbed his neck, then sighed. “Hell, Alice, you’re making me feel like a damn rapist.”

That only made me go stiffer. “Sorry.”

“Look, have I made you uncomfortable somehow? Done something to freak you out?”

I shook my head, feeling a little guilty. “It’s not you. It’s me. Everyone’s going to be expecting, you know. You and me. And I’m…”

“A virgin. I remember.” He sighed. “Trust me, I remember.” To my surprise, he reached out and brushed a lock of hair off my forehead. It was a possessive, yet weirdly comforting gesture. “And they’re not expecting you and me to marry. They just want pack life to get back to normal. They’re desperate for it and looking to us for cues.”

I was desperate for it, too. But I couldn’t say that.

“Thing is,” Jackson said, then paused. “You jump every time I touch you. You’re stiff with dread every time my arm brushes yours. And that’s just going to keep dividing lines.”

Stiff…with dread? “I’m not stiff with dread,” I pointed out. “I’m just…a virgin. This is a lot for me to take in, you know.”

“I know.” His voice was achingly soft. “You ever been kissed?”

I could feel my face heating up in the dark. “Once. When I was twelve. Then Cash beat the hell out of him for touching his sister.”

Jackson chuckled. “Cash sounds like a good brother.”

He was an overprotective, arrogant ass. He was a risk-taker, quick to argue, hard-headed, stubborn, and unbending. And I desperately, desperately missed him. “He was the best,” I said, my voice hoarse with tears.

Warm arms wrapped around me, and I found my face being pressed against warm male chest. “I’m sorry, Alice. I know this is hard on you. You haven’t even had a chance to grieve. Not properly. You’re too busy trying to hold shit together.”

Hot tears poured from my eyes. To hear someone verbalize exactly how I felt? Lost, alone, and so miserable? It felt good - and awful - at the same time. I buried my face against his chest and tried to muffle my sniffles even as I continued to cry. I couldn’t weep for my lost brother in front of the pack. I had to be strong. But here? In a stranger’s arms? I was going to be allowed to grieve.

Jackson continued to stroke my hair and my back while I cried quietly, simply holding me and comforting me. Eventually, my tears died away. I remained in his arms, though, comforted by his gentle touches and caresses.

“Is my touch bothering you?” he asked, his voice low and husky against my ear. “Do you want me to