a slave to his whims? Because that’s exactly what would happen if a competition took us close enough to his territory that he could access the dark magic there.”
She tipped her chin up. “I know the risks. I can handle myself.”
“You’re good with a sword and are one of the best trackers I know, but that doesn’t make you qualified for something like this.” He exhaled a harsh breath. “You weren’t even supposed to be here. If you hadn’t gotten out of the car in the parking lot and attacked that Fae—”
“The Fae that almost killed you?” Her eyes narrowed dangerously, the glow of her eyes entirely feline. “Not that it matters anyway. I’m here now.” And not damn well leaving, according to her tone.
“You don’t have to be. It’s too dangerous for you to stay.” Why couldn’t she see that? “Your brothers—” he began.
“Are not here.” Her expression softened. “You know as well as I do all of them would stay if they were in my place.”
There wasn’t a doubt in his mind of that. Her entire family was far too devoted to finding the daggers, not even realizing that Rhiannon would take advantage of that loyalty until it no longer yielded her results.
All too aware that he was rapidly losing the fight to get her far away from here, he went with another approach. “By staying, you make us competitors instead of allies.” The wraith snarled in his head, disliking any claim that Briana was the enemy.
Her shoulders stiffened. “If that’s your preference.” She turned away, and on instinct, he grabbed for her wrist.
“Briana, wait.”
Slowly, she faced him, staring down at the hand that held her. “You really want me to go?”
Something flickered in her eyes, making him wary. He nodded, releasing his hold on her.
“Then give me a reason.” Vulnerable and still so damn beautiful it stung to hold her gaze, she looked at him the same way she had centuries ago. “Give me a reason to leave with you, Luc.”
He didn’t have the luxury of telling her what she wanted to hear. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Tell me what you really felt in the alley.”
A cold fist closed around his heart, squeezing tight. “We’ve already been through that. It was just a spell.”
She stepped toward him, her expression hopeful, and it was killing him. “And right now, here, you feel nothing for me?”
“I want to keep you safe.”
“Why?” She searched his eyes, but he refused to let her glimpse anything that would hurt her later. And he would. He had before and nothing had changed since then.
“I promised Tristan,” he finally said. It crossed his mind to lie to her, to take advantage of the spell that must still be lingering in her system, but admitting feelings he could never act on would be far worse than watching her be disappointed in him all over again.
“Right.” Briana wanted to cringe when her voice cracked.
She’d known where they stood, had felt every word they’d exchanged in the alley slice into her heart. And still she’d let herself hope, even if it was for just another few seconds, that maybe he’d changed his mind, realized he’d made a mistake.
“I’m staying.” Her words were careful, controlled.
“Then you’re a fool.”
Briana refused to let the comment sting. “Or maybe one of us needs to believe.”
He clenched his jaw. “Believe in what?”
“That some things can be changed if you’re willing to fight for them. The same thing Arthur believed in. The same belief that made you want to become one of his knights.”
Lucan snorted. “Like the Korrigan said, look how that turned out.”
Something inside her broke a little. He’d warned her in the alley that he’d never been the man she thought he was, and for the first time she had to face that maybe she had been wrong about him.
“The hunt for Excalibur can turn even the most trusted friend into an enemy. Your wolf or huntress friends would betray you for even a taste of the power or strength they could possess if they got their hands on Arthur’s sword. Do you realize that?”
“Not everyone would sacrifice their friends and loved ones—”
He laughed bitterly. “Of course they would. Under the right circumstances everyone is capable of betrayal.”
“Including you? You’d betray friends and people you cared about?”
He took a step toward her, close enough she could read the sincerity in his eyes. “In a heartbeat. To be free of Rhiannon, I, especially, would be capable of anything.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me.”
Lifting a hand to touch her, he seemed to think better of it, making his words even more unexpected. “You would be the easiest of them all to hurt.”
“You’re not making any sense.” She took an involuntary step back, chilled by the hardness in his eyes. “Why are you so determined to leave when staying could mean the difference between an eternity of servitude or getting your life back?”
“Do you honestly think winning will accomplish anything aside from trading one god for another? I don’t need another god manipulating me or taking the things I care about and hurting them, torturing them just to inflict more pain. Because that’s what they do. They wait and see what matters most in this world and when you lower your guard, even just a fraction, they swoop in and destroy it.”
Her eyes widened. “Is that what Rhiannon did to you? Is that why you—”
He grabbed her arms, hauling her close, his grip unbreakable. She would have thought the wraith was in control if not for the furious green eyes boring into hers. “Rhiannon had nothing to do with what I said in the alley. She’s not the reason I don’t want to be with you.”
The cat in her roared at the denial, dragging its claws along the edges of her mind and heart, shredding the last of the hope she’d secreted away. For just a moment she’d imagined winning the sword and using it to bargain with Rhiannon for Lucan’s freedom, and for what? Over and over again he’d made his feelings perfectly clear. He didn’t want to be with her. Didn’t want a future with her.
“I get it.” Three little words, and they ravaged her throat, tearing her down as much as they hardened something inside her.
“Then tell me you’re not staying.” His grip tightened. “I
The emotions heaped on top of each other crumbled, leaving in their place an arctic resolve to survive the Gauntlet—to survive Lucan. “If I’m staying to save anyone, it’s myself.”
Confusion ran riot across the handsome face a part of her still ached to touch. The cat’s needs warred with the woman’s better judgment, urging her to slide her palm across Lucan’s cheek. In another time and place, she could picture his forest-green eyes, so full of secrets and shadows, sliding closed as he lifted his hand to cover her own.
Only it would never happen.
Staying was her only option now. She couldn’t go home and face her brothers knowing she’d passed up the opportunity to fight for Excalibur. What would she tell them? That she was too scared? In over her head?
None of that mattered now.
She couldn’t let them down, not after everything they’d done for her over the years. Doing everything possible to win the Gauntlet and stop Morgana from driving Avalon into the ground was all that counted. No matter how worried or angry Briana’s brothers would be at her for staying, they’d understand her choice.
Winning Excalibur was also the only shot she had of freeing herself from a bond that had the potential to destroy her. Forged by the Lady of the Lake, the sword possessed unimaginable magic, powerful enough even the gods knew it could sway the outcome of the next Campaign.
And in the right hands, the sword’s magic might just be capable of making her forget that Lucan was her mate or force the cat to reject him. It wasn’t too late to move on with her life if her feline half turned away from
