“Is that why you tracked me down? You don’t have to smother me, Fen. I get plenty of that.”
“Is your mom giving you trouble...Christian?”
She glanced at the door and thought about skipping this conversation, not sure her nerves could take it. But then she thought about all the people waiting downstairs, remembered Grace in Aiden’s arms. Fen stood as far away from her as he could get in this small space, but he was here. Her friend despite the fact she’d done nothing but complicate his life.
She sighed. “They’re fine. Neither of them wants me to do this.”
Fen frowned at the tips of his boots. “I have a right to watch out for you too.”
“As a clan member.”
He raised his head and something about the look in his eyes locked her in place. A hard look. No hint of humor there. Just a deep and raw hunger she felt like an ache in her bones.
“More than that, Rocky. You know that.”
“A friend.”
He stared and seemed to struggle with himself for a moment before pushing off the wall. One step brought him within reach, another and he did touch her, sliding his fingers along her jaw to lift her face. She closed her eyes, absorbing every second of that touch, wrapping it up in memory and making it a part of her.
He waited for her to open her eyes, then stared at her for a moment longer.
The corners of his mouth were pulled tight. He really had a beautiful mouth for a man—wide and expressive. His lips thin but fascinatingly mobile. Tension trembled in the hand that cupped her face, but his touch was careful, almost reverent.
“You really have no idea, do you?” His voice was husky. “I thought for sure that you would know.”
“Know what?”
He swallowed, the muscles in his neck flexing with the movement. “I barely understood what sex meant when I swore it off. It hasn’t been easy to keep that promise. It was never easy. But I never doubted it was the right thing to do.”
“Until you suddenly decide to bond to a woman you don’t even like?”
“I like Carly.”
She flinched as if struck.
“That’s not what—” Fen swore and leaned down to grab her hand. “Come here.”
“Fen...I can’t do this right now. It hurts.”
“I know. Believe me, I know it.” He straightened, pulling her up with him. When his arms settled around her, she stiffened. She wanted this so badly. But her world was falling apart right now and she couldn’t handle another blow. Pressing his cheek to her hair, he whispered, “Let me hold you, Rocky. Please. I just want to hold you for a minute.”
How could she say no to that?
A shudder ran the length of her body, and she let him draw her in. His legs were parted and she stood between them, her hips snug to his, her head resting on his shoulder, lips pressed to the side of his neck. He’d showered before coming. His skin smelled strongly of the soap he used, the fabric softener on his T-shirt, Fen. She could feel his warmth seep into her where they touched, feel the strength in his lean, hard body.
“This okay?”
Okay? Nothing...
“I’m doing a crap job of this. When we get back, we need to talk.” She held her breath, waiting for him to continue. “About you upending my life and shaking out all the pieces. About exactly how the mating bond works.”
He wasn’t making any promises, she noticed, but hope filled her anyway, as powerful as the flow of magic passing through the fault. “We can talk now.”
“Not now. It’s almost time to go.” Placing him thumb beneath her jaw, he tipped back her head. His eyes fairly glowed. “I need you to do something for me. Don’t take any chances while we’re over there. You listen to Christian, and to Aiden.” The arm around her waist tightened. “You make it back. Okay, Rocky?”
She swallowed past the lump in throat. “Same goes for you.”
He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. She thought he meant to kiss her. And—
“They’re bringing the horses around now. You’re sure you want to do this?”
“I’d rather finish this talk.”
A touch of amusement in his eyes, but the smile there didn’t reach the rest of his face. Reaching past her, he opened the door. “Make it back and we’ll do that.”
Christian touched her knee. “Comfortable?”
“Sure.” She adjusted her foot in the stirrup and after trying and failing to figure out what else to do with her arms, she wrapped them around his waist.
He stiffened and then let out a short laugh as he relaxed. “You know, when I used to imagine this kind of thing, I always thought you’d be more enthusiastic.”
“Yeah?”
“And naked.”
“On a horse?”
“You lost your right to criticize my fantasy life.” She slapped his stomach, but her position didn’t allow her to do any real damage. He rubbed her arm. “As much as I enjoy this, I’d rather not die before we leave the yard.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Fen’s already shifted and I’ve seen him give demons kinder looks than the one he’s giving me now. What exactly happened upstairs?”
She loosed her hold on Christian’s waist and tried to see over his shoulder. His stiff leather armor made him even bulkier than normal and she couldn’t see a thing.
“He wants to talk when we get back.” For a minute she’d thought Fen might kiss her, but he hadn’t. “He tried to talk me out of coming again.”
“Huh.” Christian drew in a breath as if he might say more, but she was pretty sure he changed direction at the last minute. “I’ll get you back safely. Here.” He took her hand and moved it. “Aiden had this saddle designed when Grace rode with us to find Hallie. There are handholds so you don’t get in the way of me using the sword.”
“I don’t like feeling helpless.”
“You’re a witch,” he countered. “A good one. You’ll never be helpless. I’ll take care of the demons. You worry about getting the Vanir free. Deal?”
“Yeah.”
Aiden lifted Hallie into a bear hug and then kissed Grace one last time before mounting his big, black horse. Christian’s was a dappled gray that seemed silver in the quickly fading light.
Aiden held up his hand, half goodbye, half signal, and they moved toward the woods.
The days were short this time of year and the sun set quickly, sinking like a pebble in a pond. Raquel could almost see the shadows moving, spreading from the trees to slip over the fields. Reaching toward them like long black fingers. Frost crunched beneath the horses hooves but otherwise the hunt was silent. It was weird being with them. Ever since she was a little girl, she’d watched her father ride out at least twice a month to make sure no demons slipped through into their town. She’d always understood that he risked his life to keep her and all of the ?sir in his care safe. But she’d only ridden with them once, on her own horse, when Kathy convinced her father that a clan witch needed to know exactly what the hunt did. He’d planted her as far away from the fault as he could manage, stationing half the hounds and two huntsmen around her.
And it had still been terrifying.
The speed with which the demons moved. The ferocity of the riders. The blaze of Skimstrok and the black