Ink

It took her a minute to get it, but when she did, the smile curled along her lips.

“Katie,” she said. “Don’t be afraid to go. It won’t make Japan any less important in your life. You can give living with Nan and Gramps four or five months, too.”

“I know,” I said. I slouched back on the couch, deep in thought.

“Katie?”

“Yeah?”

“Does this have to do with Tanaka?”

“Tanaka?” Oh. “Ew, no.”

“Are you sure this isn’t about a guy? Because staying for a guy is—”

“I know,” I said quickly. “It isn’t about a guy.”

“Take the night to think about it,” she said. “Nan is waiting to book the ticket, but give it a day, okay?”

I nodded and trudged to my room. Had she heard a word I’d said?

I wasn’t staying for a guy. But who was going to look out for him if I wasn’t here? And what about the life that had taken root here? I’d given it the time, and the plant was only starting to bud. Why should I hack it out of the ground before it had time to bloom?

And as dumb as it seemed, like a moth to a flame, I needed to know. Was the ink really trying to kill me? What if it was something else? What if I was part of something important, something that could stop the other Kami for good?

What would Mom do? God, I missed her. I could do anything, she’d told me over and over. But I needed to hear her say it again, that she believed in me.

I stared into the void in my heart, searching for her. I hugged my pillow to my chest and stared at the ceiling, but I couldn’t stop wondering if Tomohiro was safe, if the Kami

would come back to get us.

I need to know you’re safe, he’d said.

Shit. I was staying for a guy. And he wanted me to leave, because if I didn’t, terrible things were lurking around every corner.

My keitai went off in the middle of the night. I jolted awake, fear twisting up and down my spine.

“Moshi mosh?” I said, shocked to find myself speaking Japanese even half- asleep.

“Katie,” said Tomohiro’s smooth voice. I fell back onto my pillow with relief.

“God, I thought you were Jun calling to threaten me or something.”

“Sorry,” he said. He sounded pretty sheepish. “I know it’s late. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Fine,” I said. “Except I can’t sleep.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” I said. “This jerk called my keitai in the middle of the night.”

I heard him snort.

“I’ll go beat him up,” he said.

“Good.”

“Wait, why does Jun have your keitai number?”

“Never mind,” I said. “It was when he was trying to protect me from Ishikawa. It’s nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Well, maybe I’m not sure, ’cause evil Kami are so hot.”

“Hidoi na,” Tomohiro whined. “Don’t break my heart now.”

“Let me sketch him. He might be pregnant.”

“Oi, ” he said, but I could just about hear the grin on his face. “Did you talk to Diane yet?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“I told her I want to stay in Japan.”

“Shit, Katie.” He sounded all irritated, the way he talked at school.

“Look, it’s my life, okay? I get to make the decisions.”

“I know,” he said. “But being with me is a bad one. Look, my dad found out about the Kami contacting me. He’s talking about moving.”

“What?” I sat upright, turning up my air conditioner so Diane wouldn’t hear us. “How did that happen?”

“They came to my door tonight.”

“Shit,” I said.

“Katie,” he said, and his voice turned all soft. “I lost my mom. I can’t lose you, too.”

The same reason I wanted to stay in Japan, thrown back at me. And suddenly my choice felt selfish.

“Where are you going to go?”

“He’s trying to pull strings and get transferred to Takat-suki, but I’m trying to convince him to stay. It’s not like there won’t be Kami in Osaka, too. And I can’t switch schools in the middle of studying for entrance exams. I’d fail for sure.”

“What if you came with me?”

“To Canada?”

“Yeah.”

“And what about my dad? I know I’m endangering him by existing, but if I’m not here, how do I know they won’t go after him? I’m all he has left.”

The tears streamed down my face and I grabbed a tissue off my night table, trying not to sound like I was crying.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, but we both knew he was lying.

“I want to stay with you,” I said. “Even if it means…even if…”

He was silent for a minute, because we both knew what I was going to say. When he spoke again, his voice was so small I could barely hear him.

“Katie, I know it’s your life. But please…live it. Please live.”

I listened to the sound of our breath whispering against the receivers, and then we both hung up, and the silence of the night pushed in around me.

If I left Japan, we’d both be safe. His drawings would be under control, and the ink in me would probably go back to being dormant.

I loved him. And I knew what I had to do.

“Okay,” I whispered into the darkness. “Okay.”

Chapter 19

Nan sent the ticket express mail, and by Friday it was poking out of our mailbox in the lobby, the printed address of the travel agency in glaring black English letters. There was a little picture of a plane circling a globe in the corner.

Tomohiro left for a second kendo training camp the Saturday morning, and even though I begged him not to attend, freaked out that the Kami would surround him, Jun never showed up at the retreat. Guess he couldn’t do much with a broken wrist.

I spent the weekend sorting through my things, while Diane made phone calls to both schools to make sure my en-rollment and withdrawal were under control. Tricky, considering neither school was well staffed in early August.

The sweat of the Japanese summer clung to my skin as I packed up my purikura album with photos of Yuki and Tanaka, and my headband from my kendo uniform. The Twofold Path of the Pen and Sword, it read, the motto of our club. I folded it neatly, the kanji collapsing in on