This will make you accessible to people even if you are up on the stage and in the spotlight. We’ve all had disasters in our lives, major and minor. To be able to laugh at them in retrospect is healthy and helpful. Use the blips that we all encounter in our lives to your advantage. I remember a particular question-and-answer period that followed one of my speeches, during the time when Ivana and I were going through our divorce and the tabloids were having a field day. The first question was from a guy who asked, You don’t mind if I call youThe Donald, do you?
So I responded, Not if you don’t mind if I call you Ivana.
We all had a good laugh and then proceeded to his real question.
Memorable public speaking involves a good deal of spontaneity. It’s a lot like negotiating—you have to focus on your goals but remain flexible. A lot of people are terrific writers but not so great at getting their ideas across orally. Writing is a form of thinking, and so is speaking. The difference is that you don’t have time to go back and correct yourself when you’re on stage. It’s not a first draft and it’s not a rehearsal. Be prepared for the performance, because that’s what’s expected of you.
Every day can be a preparation for a speech or a presentation. Have you ever said to yourself, I’ll have to remember that one after hearing someone say something particularly clever or unusual? Even offhand comments that you overhear can be useful. Remember them. Make notes if you must. Everything and everyone can become material. I was in the back of an elevator once, behind a group of guys. Their conversation was so vivid, so real, that I tuned in and tried to figure out why they’d captured my attention. Aside from the fact that they had a captive audience for a short amount of time, I realized that their speaking rhythm was syncopated, quick, and to the point. What they were saying wasn’t all that fascinating, but their delivery was. They made a normally mundane subject—what they were getting for lunch and how they were getting it—seem interesting.
It’s contagious. If your audience believes you are enjoying what you are doing, they’ll enjoy being in your company. If it’s an obvious chore to you, forget it and find someone else to speak for you. If you’re a busy executive, there’s probably someone within your organization who can speak effectively in your place. Sometimes when I’m asked to speak and my schedule won’t allow it, I will ask someone who works for me if they’d be interested in filling in. Charlie Reiss, executive VP of development in my organization, was a professor at Columbia University before he came to work for me. He’s a dynamic speaker, but I wouldn’t have known this if I hadn’t asked him to help out when I was in a bind. He has a gift for public speaking because he enjoys teaching and is enthusiastic about what he does. At first I worried he might turn out to be a bit pedantic, considering his background, but he wasn’t. Everyone had a good time.
Another important aspect of having a good time: Before you speak, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter all that much. Don’t feel that the weight of the world is on you. Most of the people in the room don’t care how well or poorly you do. It’s just not that important. It’s merely a speech—not an earthquake or a war. You’ll have a better time and be a better speaker if you keep it all in perspective.
That said, public speaking and presentations may be a necessary step on your ladder to success. For quick reference, here’s my procedure for discovering a talent you thought you didn’t have:
1. Think about your audience first.
2. Get your audience involved.
3. Be prepared.
4. Be a good storyteller.
5. Be aware of the common denominator.
6. Be an entertainer.
7. Be able to laugh at yourself.
8. Think on your feet.
9. Listen.
10. Have a good time.
And, of course…
11. Study Regis Philbin.
Change Your Altitude
When I sayaltitude, I’m not referring to my jet. It’s my own interpretation of the wordattitude. I like flying because it gets me where I’m going, fast. Likewise, if you have the right attitude, you can get where you’re going, fast.
What’s the altitude of your attitude? Is it high frequency or low frequency? Having a high frequency will attune you to a wavelength that exudes confidence and clear-sighted enthusiasm. I’m a firm believer that this is half the battle of any enterprise.
I’m a tough-minded optimist. I learned a long time ago that my productivity was increased by a large percentage simply by learning to let go of negativity in all forms as quickly as I could. My commitment to excellence is thorough—so thorough that it negates the wavelength of negativity immediately. I used to have to zap negativity mentally. By now, it just bounces off me within a moment of getting near me. As you may have heard, I don’t like germs. I’m still waging a personal crusade to replace the mandatory and unsanitary handshake with the Japanese custom of bowing. To me, germs are just another kind of negativity.
Negativity is also a form of fear, and fear can be paralyzing. On the golf course, I’ve heard great athletes tell me that they can’t putt. They can hit a ball three hundred yards right down the middle of the fairway, but they can’t finish the hole by putting the ball three feet into the cup.
Recently, I played with a man who is terrified of putting. He hit a magnificent 235-yard shot and was seven feet from the cup. Then he looked over at me and said, Now the hard part begins.
Another friend, also a great golfer, is paralyzed by his fear of losing his ball. Each time we played a hole near a lake, he would look down and say to his ball, I have a feeling I’ll never see you again.
I have told these two guys that they must start thinking positively or they will sabotage themselves.
Very often, negative thinking stems from low self-esteem. You have to work on this yourself. Maybe you’ve received a lot of hard knocks. I’ve learned to deal with them because I get knocked a lot. Quickly see them for what they are—knocks. But you don’t have to open the door unless you choose to. I’ve gotten to the point where I see knocks as opportunities and as an insight into whoever is doing the knocking.
One way to chase low altitude away is to think about how fortunate you already are and how much you still have to look forward to. You can better your best day at any time. Very surprising things can happen, but you must—and I repeat
I don’t have time to encourage as many people as I would like to, but whenever it seems appropriate, I recommend
I can remember a time when I had a choice to make, when I was billions of dollars in debt. I had to take one of two courses of action: a fearful, defensive one or a faithful, riskier one. I carefully analyzed the situation, realized what was causing the uneasy feeling of fear, and immediately replaced it with blind faith, simply because I had nothing else to go on at the time. Then I resolved that as long as I remained positive and disciplined, things would work out.
There was not much more I could do. I didn’t know how it was going to go, but I was determined to move forward, even though it wasn’t easy. Within a relatively short amount of time, the situation was settled positively. I learned a lot from that and have since had a better understanding of what courage really is. Without facing my own fear, I would not have known.
When I think of someone who is tough, I also think of someone who has courage. People who persist have
