Four Seconds to Lose

laps.

But I let it happen.

And every time I tried to picture myself with Penny, the knowledge that I allowed her to sell herself like that crept into the image, like dirty fingerprints on an otherwise beautiful canvas. When I clued in that Charlie likely hasn’t worked the V.I.P. room before . . . I’m not going to lie, excitement coursed through me.

She’s not tainted by those dirty fingerprints.

Yet.

And I selfishly don’t want to let it happen.

“With anyone except you, you mean,” Nate cuts into my thoughts with that knowing tone of his.

“I haven’t laid a—”

“But you want to. Admit it.”

I say nothing.

“She’s the first person I’ve seen you look at twice since Penny was around. And you never used to come out and watch Penny onstage like this. Charlie’s gotten under your skin. That’s gotta mean something, Cain.”

“It means I must be really hard up.” That’s the understatement of the fucking century. The night I moved Charlie into her new place, Grace—a twenty-eight-year-old heiress to a prominent Sonoma Valley vineyard—was in town and paid me a late-night visit. I couldn’t keep Charlie’s violet eyes and doll face out of my head. That would have been fine, had I not called her name out as I was coming.

After that night, I’ve avoided calling Vicki or Rebecka or any of the others on my speed dial, figuring I’d get my infatuation with the girl under control before I risked insulting another woman like that. Two weeks later, my balls are ready to burst. I don’t know how the monks survive. Probably by not watching live strip shows daily.

I inhale sharply as Charlie unclasps the black lace bra, wincing with a spasm of pain in my groin as two candy-pink nipples appear. Ben is right. They should be fake, they’re so perfectly round and . . . perfect. I both love and hate that she’s up there on the stage. Love because it’s the only way I’ll get to see her like this and it feeds the sick fantasies constantly swirling around in my head. Hate because everyone else is seeing her like this and having those same fucking dirty thoughts.

Looking at those strong yet delicate limbs, I can’t help but wonder if her abusive father had dirty thoughts of her. My teeth instantly clench at that question, taking my desire down a few notches. How many times were those beautiful body parts bruised and broken by that jerk-off? Thank God he’s in jail or I’d hunt him down and make him really suffer.

“John got back to me, Nate. Charlie’s got a past, full of assholes. She doesn’t need another one to add to her collection.”

Nate heaves a sigh, shaking his head. “Shit,” I hear him mutter under his breath. If there’s one guy whose soft spot for these girls is as sensitive as mine, it’s Nate.

“She’s here to make money, not deal with her boss hitting on her.” Even though she seems intent on torturing me. “And I have enough to deal with. I don’t need to add an affair with an employee to my own plate. I’m doing the right thing by staying away from her.” I can hear the tone in my voice. It’s solid and convincing. I’m not really trying to convince Nate, though.

It’s me who needs the convincing, as I watch her, imagining what her sweat tastes like.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be standing out here like a starving kid waiting for a piece of fresh bread, then,” he scolds in a dry tone. “You’re tormenting yourself, you dumbass.”

“Fuck off,” I throw back. A heavyset guy on the side of the stage catches my eye. He’s hollering something at Charlie. I can’t hear him but I can read his lips, the vile words forming in his mouth. The way he’s gesturing crudely at his lap.

“And get that fucker in the yellow shirt out of my club, right now,” I bark. Normally, I don’t kick patrons out for yelling things and gesturing. It’s an adult entertainment club where women grind on guys’ laps until they explode in their pants, for God’s sake. And yet I’ve been booting out customers every night for two weeks when Charlie comes on.

Nate doesn’t say a word. He simply strolls over and, with a heavy hand on the man’s shoulder and what I imagine is a forceful instruction in his ear, he escorts the guy out without argument. No one ever argues with Nate.

From where Ben is standing, I catch him shaking his head at me.

Yeah, I probably deserve that.

chapter sixteen * * * CHARLIE

“Did you see how Cain kicked out yet another customer?” a girl with bright pink hair says as she leans in her chair to fasten the straps of her absurdly high-heeled shoes, to match her absurdly revealing silver-and-black polka-dot bikini.

“He sure is wound up about something,” Ginger’s friend, a sweet brown-haired girl named Hannah, says. After a pause, she observes, “Can’t be about money. It’s coming in by the truckload.”

I change quietly, listening to the group of them chatter, not sure what I can possibly add to the conversation. I’m kind of hoping they don’t notice that I’m here.

“He just needs a good fuck,” Kendra, a dark-skinned dancer with shiny black hair, jokes as she peels her lime-green skin-tight dress off in exchange for a concoction of feathers and bows—her stage outfit. “Levi, why don’t you let him come all over those tits again.”

The gorgeous blonde with very large, very fake breasts winks devilishly and the group of five women break out in titters.

They’re on a roll with the sexual tales at Cain’s expense tonight. I’m wondering if this really is all just harmless banter or if there’s an ounce of truth to it, when Kendra murmurs, “Someone must be teasing that dreamy cock of his to no end . . .” Five sets of heavily kohl-lined eyes turn to stare at me.

Ah, yes. The rumors.

“I’m just doing my job,” I manage to get out around a swallow, ducking my head to hide my heated cheeks.

The cackles of laughter in the dressing room don’t settle down, even as the door bangs open and China strolls in, carrying her stage outfit and wearing a bikini made for an eight-year-old. I’m surprised she bothered putting anything back on after her show. That woman is missing all modicum of modesty.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, New Girl was just telling us how she plans on polishing the boss’s knob in his office tonight.”

I feel my face burst with heat as I shake my head. These women are not only crass; they’re relentless.

“Of course.” China’s mirthless chuckle follows her as she takes a seat by a locker. “Though I’m sure New Girl already knows she doesn’t have what it takes to interest a guy like Cain.” Her sharp eyes roll up and down my frame with a pointed smirk.

There’s an edge to her tone—a warning, almost—that I catch immediately. And it annoys the hell out of me. Instead of being decent, this woman made me want to cry coming off the stage that first night. Since then, she’s done nothing but shoot me vicious glares. I’m pretty sure she started the rumor that I’m a terrible lay. And that I have crabs. Now, she’s trying to put me in my place, and that place is clearly beneath her and away from Cain.

I’m no idiot. I dealt with jealous girls all through high school. But I should probably be careful around her. Sam taught me to always keep my thoughts to myself. “Guard your words,” he’d say. “Only reveal what is absolutely necessary.” The way I was raised, the real me avoided confrontation and argument. I was complacent to let others lead, to go with the flow.

But Charlie Rourke is not putting up with this bitch. She has enough to put up with. “I’m sure if the new girl were interested, she’d have his cock in her hands in under two seconds,” I answer sweetly, as I pull my shirt over my head. I silently thank my sophomore drama teacher for casting me as Regina George in our school’s modified