in the world who mattered to him now.
Sam lowered his mouth and dropped a singularly sweet kiss on her lips.
The hard knob of his cock slid against her soaked folds. The slow, teasing move made her grit her teeth. An impish grin, so typically Sam, warned he knew exactly how the motion drove her crazy. Kelly rolled her hips upward.
He thrust hard into her, pushing past the resistance of her tiny internal muscles, sealing them hip and hip. Kelly flinched a little. It had been a long time since she’d had sex.
A long time since she’d opened herself up to a man, let him into the most private part of her body...her heart.
“Ah, gods, you feel so damn good,” he muttered. Concern flared in his gaze. “You okay, Kel?”
She drew a long, trembling sigh. “Now I am.”
Pleasure rippled through her as he began to move. Slowly out and then back inside her, building the heat between them. All the while his gaze was warm and soft on her, the look on his face telling her this was more than sex.
More than making love.
It was reigniting the flame they both thought had died, had wanted to die.
It consumed them, sending them spiraling together into erotic bliss as his hips drove harder and faster. She pushed upward, meeting his frantic moves. Kelly tightened her hands around his as the crisp hair on his chest rubbed against her sensitive nipples. She squeezed hard around him, feeling the incredible pressure build until she cried out and climaxed again, gasping for air, feeling as if she were flying.
And would never descend.
Sam closed his eyes and threw his head back, the corded muscles on his neck straining as he gave one last thrust. His cock twitched inside her as Sam shouted her name. He bucked and shuddered against her.
Wrapping her arms around him, she held him close as he collapsed atop her, his muscled weight pressing her against the soft mattress. Sam’s ragged breathing bellowed into her ear as he pillowed his head next to hers.
Finally he pushed himself off, sat on the bed’s side and disposed of the condom. Kelly felt a sudden chill at his businesslike actions. Was this only sex? Or something more?
But then he joined her again, pulling her into his arms and sweetly kissing her forehead. For a long few minutes, they lay together, Kelly stroking the sweat-dampened hairs on his muscled chest.
“Incredible.”
He playfully touched her nose. “Yes, you are.”
Sex lowered the barriers between them. She kissed the curve of his shoulder. “I wish we had never known each other before. Then everything would have been fresh and new to us, instead of these dark secrets between us.”
Sam lifted his head, his brows knitting. “What?”
“Real lovers don’t share the past we have. They don’t hide their hurts from each other.”
“I don’t want secrets between us,” he stated quietly.
“Then tell me. Why did your duplicate push your buttons like that? What was he talking about?”
Jaw tensing, he looked away.
“Please, tell me, Sam. I must know. If it’s my fault...” she whispered.
Expelling a breath, he shook his head. “It’s not you. Not your fault. It’s Christmas. I haven’t spent a single Christmas with anyone, except my family.”
Sickening realization hit her. “You visit them...”
“At their graves.” A husky whisper, pain haunting those dreamy hazel eyes. “It’s all I have left, so I go there every year instead of friends’ homes.”
Pressure built behind Kelly’s eyes as she saw the real Sam. The cocky, charming Sam. The cool, efficient SEAL. What a falsehood, when the real man was alone, hiding behind barricades of duty, honor and obligation.
“Go on.”
“That bastard Arcane was right. I’m a sentimental fool. I couldn’t save him, so I try to make up for it. Petie loved Christmas, loved seeing the gifts under the tree. Most of all, he adored hanging the tinsel on the trees. Silver. He said it looked like stars sparkling beneath the lights. He always asked me to sing carols....”
His voice cracked. “Every year, I buy silver tinsel and a little tree and place it by his gravestone. Keep thinking he’d see it from wherever he was and it’d make him smile. And then I sing his favorite carols. Stupid. As if he’d know.”
Stupid? It was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard. A horrid ache settled in her chest as she envisioned him sitting on the ground by his little brother’s grave, cold wind whispering through the cheerful silver tinsel as Sam sang Christmas carols.
So alone, haunted by sorrow...
“Why do you put yourself through it every year?”
He stared at the ceiling. “I don’t want grief and anger to turn into blind hatred. The ritual keeps me normal when I feel like I’m turning cold and empty inside. It connects me to Pete and his ability to love everyone unconditionally.”
Kelly had the odd feeling she finally had seen straight through to his heart. He wasn’t a cold, efficient warrior, but a grieving man determined to keep hatred and bitterness at bay. The navy had molded him into a disciplined, purposeful soldier, someone she thought she’d never connect with again. Truth was, they had plenty in common. Just like her, Sam was lost and alone, but not broken.
Never broken, she thought vehemently.
Raising herself up on her elbows, she dropped a tender kiss on his jaw. “Pete knows. I’m certain of it. You have a generous, loving heart.”
Emotions shadowed his gaze. And then he rolled her beneath him and loved her once more, this time longer, sweeter, slower, until she wanted to never leave.
Recapturing what she’d once thought was lost forever.
Kelly lay asleep on the pillow, long, inky lashes feathered against her pink cheeks. Guarding her rest, Shay studied his lover.
Hell would come with the morning light, and the consequences, but for now, he wanted to banish the future. Banish the past. Live in the present moment.
A smile touched his mouth as he protectively tucked her closer. For a wild moment, he imagined it could be like this always.
He could make love to her through the years and never grow tired. Sam felt plugged into her, electrified when he took her, as alive as he’d never felt before.
The smile faded. In the rosy afterglow of hot sex, he’d made a huge mistake by lowering his defenses and baring his most shameful secret. With others, he’d kept his private life private, too proud to admit he still deeply grieved. Strict boundaries were enforced to keep everyone, especially women, at a distance. Men were tough. SEALs were tougher. And he was impenetrable.
Except to Kelly.
Now Kelly had penetrated the wall, leaving him exposed and vulnerable, just as his father had once predicted. Shay couldn’t afford vulnerability, or losing his heart to her again.
The disturbing thought chased away sleep long into the night.
A shaft of leaden daylight spilled through the partly opened drapes. Shay woke up to the sight of Kelly draped over his body. Long, dark lashes feathered over her cheeks as she slept as innocently as a child, red hair
