same goose bumps and cold sweat I felt all those years ago when I was shit-scared facing those hundreds of enemy soldiers.
How wonderful at my age to have new experiences and new memories to store away! My good friends and neighbours Allan Jones and his wife Jan, are travelling with me and Allan has borrowed his son’s video recorder and is filming me being filmed. I’ve never had so much attention since the film company contacted me about taking part in a documentary for the Yesterday Channel called
How many people get the opportunity to go back and relive important moments in their lives, however painful, to share with others who are interested and also want to learn what it was like? All that has happened to me recently has been amazing. I have good people around me, friends and family who care about me. And that’s a wonderful thing to be able to say. This is what keeps me going. I have no Lily and I have no Brian to keep me company any more.
I wouldn’t have been on television or have been approached to write a book if Allan hadn’t suggested that I join the National ex-Prisoner of War Association (NEXPOWA). He had heard some of my stories about my experiences during the war and he thought it might be good for me to join and meet other people – give me a new interest. He was worried about me because I was in a pretty bad way after I lost Brian in November 2006 followed by Lily, ten months later in August 2007 – as he said, I was going downhill rapidly. I lost a lot of weight and was very withdrawn.
My wife and son were the world to me. They left such a big hole in my life after their deaths that I couldn’t see the point of going on. Why I was still alive? It should have been me that died. I had always thought of myself as lucky but my luck had finally run out. I had nothing really to live for – or so I thought.
Through NEXPOWA I met Terry Waite CBE at the Imperial War Museum North. I was representing the Association and Terry was opening the
The TV documentary brought me a lot of attention. Lots of people saw the programme (and it’s still being repeated now) and I was interviewed by newspapers and magazines. This is how Dee La Vardera, a writer from Wiltshire, heard about me and made contact. Allan recorded me on my return trip to France and posted it on You Tube and more people saw that.
I have been to local schools to talk to children and twice visited USAF Lakenheath to address their annual National POW/MIA (Missing Action) Recognition Day. The second time was in September 2010 and I was privileged to be presented with an award from the Air Force Sergeants’ Association Chapter 1669 ‘with endless gratitude’. I accepted this on behalf all those who didn’t return.
I made another trip abroad with Allan in August 2010 to visit Ypres and the Menin Gate. Allan had arranged with The Last Post Association for me to lay a wreath at the evening ceremony. I felt it was a great honour and privilege to do so and I was meant to deliver the oration ‘At the going down of the sun and in the morning we shall remember them.’ There were nearly a thousand people there and I was so overcome with emotion that I said that I couldn’t do it. Fortunately, one of the Standard Bearers from the British Legion stepped in to read it.
After the bugle fanfare, the wreath laying began and it was my turn. The band was playing
After the ceremony people came up to shake my hand and thank me; many had read my wreath. One man said, ‘Thank you for what you did for Australia,’ I really appreciated it. Nobody thanked me at the time. When you think how I was treated after the war it’s fantastic today to have people who weren’t born until after the war showing their appreciation. You can see the ceremony on You Tube. I don’t know who has seen it but it’s wonderful to think that people around the world can go online and watch the film clip and remember.
I was also interviewed and filmed by Stephen Saunders from ASA Productions who was working on a film about ex POWs’ experiences in prison camps and on the Long March home. The three-part documentary called
My phone has never stopped ringing with family and friends enquiring about what I am doing next. I love talking to people – that’s why I was a salesman. And I tell them stories of my war time experiences if they are interested. People kept saying to me, ‘You ought to write it all down’ and so I have, thanks to the patience and hard work of Dee. Even my hairdresser treats me like a celebrity and says, ‘I’ll buy a copy when it’s out.’ I have promised to sign one for him.
I have loved every minute of it. It’s got me talking about all the things which I kept hidden for most of my life. Yes, it has made me go over some very painful memories but they only upset me for a short while. I have thought a lot about my old pals and what a help and comfort they were to me during our years together. I remember the good times we had together after the war. Laurie and Sid came over to watch cup finals on my television. Sadly, I lost touch with Sid but remained good friends with Laurie until his death in 1988. His son Robert is my pal now and phones and visits me regularly.
Jimmy Sellar is the only one left. As I described earlier, I drove up to Scotland once to see him in his highland cottage near Inverness. Lily, Brian and I stayed and we ate mutton stew together in their cosy little kitchen. We still exchange cards at Christmas and I ring Jimmy from time to time. I hope that when he reads my book he feels that I have done justice to that part of our lives which we shared.
I am so thrilled that people will be able to read about my life. I am only an ordinary chap from Barking in Essex but I did live through extraordinary times and survived against the odds. A lucky man. I always wanted people to know what had happened to me and other men like me and what we suffered. I want people to remember those who didn’t come back but were left behind, buried in shallow graves or left where they fell. I want youngsters to understand about the past so that they don’t make the same mistakes as others did.
I saw some terrible things during the war and I didn’t think I would ever see anything else as bad. But watching my son Brian die of cancer was the worst thing to happen to me.
Charles at home with his award presented ‘With Endless Gratitude’ by AFSA Chapter 1669, National POW/MIA Recognition Day, 17 September 2010.
I am glad that my son had a good life and was successful in all the things he loved doing. Lily and I wanted him to have a good education which he did; he went to Liverpool University and studied engineering. We wanted him to have a good job which he did; he became a manager at Severn Trent Water Authority. We were pleased that he followed his dreams which included studying music, playing jazz piano and writing a book. He became a significant figure in the world of model train engineering with his hand-built replicas. He was good at everything he did; he was very patient and meticulous, a perfectionist. All his good qualities were certainly inherited from Lily, not from me.
Lily wanted to be a professional singer but her mother had other ideas, so she always encouraged Brian with his music. He used to go up to London to study music with a violinist from the BBC Symphony Orchestra and continued making the two-hour journey every week when he moved back to live with us in Kidderminster. Lily used to travel with Brian to his gigs all over the country and enjoyed hearing him play piano in his jazz trio, Mosaic. He wrote a book,
My friend Allan entered Brian’s name on the search engine on his computer for me and showed me all the entries on my son. There is a marvellous obituary to him on www.gonetoosoon.org and he has 5 star reviews on Amazon for his jazz piano book which still sells in America. That would be good if I could get reviews like him with my book. Goodness, wouldn’t Brian and Lily have been proud of me! I wish they were alive to read about my life and the
