Angel Fever

here!” He spread his arms out.

My voice was faint. “There was more to it than that.”

“No. There was not,” he said flatly. “My angel was part of yours, Willow – I know.”

I stood trembling, awash with shame as I realized he was right: it was really Alex I’d been longing for. I’d completely used Seb, even if I hadn’t meant to. Anger of my own followed. It was a lot easier than facing what I’d done…and the fact that I was nowhere near over Alex after all.

I crossed my arms tightly. “Yes, well – speaking of kissing one person and wanting another one, how about you?”

“Me?”

“Yes! You’re not the only one who got something psychically, all right? You’re in love with Meghan; you have been for months!”

Seb’s jaw dropped; his look of surprise was almost comical. “What are you talking about? I love you – I always have.”

My temper faded as we stared at each other. I shook my head. “No, Seb,” I said quietly. “You did once, but now it’s just a – a habit, a memory. It’s Meghan you’re in love with; you’ve just been so hung up on me that you couldn’t see it.”

His smile was hard. “I can see very well, querida – and you’re all I’ve ever wanted. Believe me, I wish it wasn’t true.”

“But it isn’t! Seb, I know; my angel was part of yours too. You’ve got me all built up in your mind like some kind of dream girl – that’s all it is.”

Dark anger clouded Seb’s face. “Let me tell you something,” he said. “I have sensed you since I was six. For fourteen years, I have loved you – since before I even knew what the word meant. You want Alex instead of me? Fine, I’m used to it. But do not tell me who I love.”

My voice rose in frustration. “Oh god, Seb, at least be honest with yourself! Why do you think you’ve been so unhappy these last few months? You’re miserable without Meghan! You love her so much that she’s like an ache inside of you—”

Seb looked as if he could have happily throttled me. Brushing past, he strode to the bar again. “Why don’t we eat and take a break from this very fascinating conversation?”

I blew out a breath. “Yes, why don’t we? Since you’re not listening to a word I say.”

It was the first hot meal we’d had in days. I don’t think either of us enjoyed it much. We sat at opposite ends of the sheepskin rug, eating in silence. The adrenalin from the argument had faded and now I just felt desolate.

Alex.

My throat tightened. Remembering my moment of peace gazing over the plains, I wanted to cry. I should have known by now: grief took three steps forward and two steps back. I longed for Alex so much that it hurt – and I was so tired of hurting. Dull fury at him stirred, that he was still putting me through this even after a year.

Seb had found some red wine behind the bar; he’d offered me a glass with a sardonic lift of his eyebrows. Now he sat drinking from his own glass, moodily contemplating the fire.

I stared down at my wine’s red glow. “Seb, look, I—”

He drained his glass. “Whatever you are going to say, I can live without it.”

Stung, I said, “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I promise I didn’t mean to use you.”

Seb regarded me coolly, his eyes dark brown in the firelight. “Do you want the sofa or the rug?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Then get up; you’re on my bed.”

Fine. I rose and went over to the sofa, where I snaked the sleeping bag out of its case. A few minutes later I was wrapped in its warmth, gazing into the fire.

The only sounds were the flames snapping and the faint whistle of the storm from outside. Seb had rolled himself up in the sheepskin rug; he lay with his hands linked under his head, glaring up at the ceiling.

I cleared my throat. “Listen, um…if it turns out that we can get out of here tomorrow, I’d like you to take the first car we can hotwire and go to Idaho.”

In a swift motion, Seb had propped himself up on one elbow. “What are you talking about?”

I shrugged, unable to meet his eyes. “I just don’t think it makes much sense for us both to be here, that’s all. One of us should go back and tell the others what’s happening.”

Seb snorted, his gaze raking over me. “Did I say you are blind? What you really are is transparente. No, Willow. I am not going to Idaho, no matter who you think I’m in love with.”

My hand twisted hard at the sleeping bag. “Seb, please! We don’t know what’s going to happen in Pawntucket, and I need to know you’re safe, at least – that you have a chance to be happy.”

“Ah, yes. Because you know what would make me happy.”

I was close to tears. “I do! Look, I know you don’t believe me yet, but you can still be with the person you love – and I can never have that again, not ever! Please don’t throw it away! If you come with me, you’ll probably die.”

His jaw hardened. “I am coming, Willow. There is nothing you can say to stop me.”

“But—”

Suddenly his voice was low, furious. “Listen to me! This isn’t just about saving your town any more. Something big is going to happen there – for the whole world. Since your psychic powers are so wonderful, do not tell me you don’t sense it.”

The moment froze: Seb with his chestnut curls tousled, the shadowy room around us. “Yes,” I admitted finally. “I’ve been feeling it too. For days now.”

He gave a hard, cynical smile and flopped back down onto the floor. “So it’s decided, yes? This is my fight too. Trust me, I would be here no matter what I feel for you.”

I didn’t bother mentioning Meghan this time. He’d thought it was me for so long – he just couldn’t see it yet.

Neither of us spoke again. I lay staring into the fire. And thinking about what might lie ahead, I swallowed…and hoped that Seb would have a chance to realize the truth for himself.

Now, three days later, Seb and I took turns driving through the snow-dusted Adirondacks. I gazed out the windshield as the familiar mountains glided past, trying to ignore the growing certainty that whatever waited ahead would impact on the whole world – but was going to be especially awful for me, personally.

When I wasn’t worrying about Pawntucket, I was aching for Alex. I felt utterly flattened, lonelier than I’d been in months. I’d thought I was moving on…and now this. As we drove, I reached for my mother, hugging the familiar feel of her close. Then I gently let go, glad for once that she wasn’t actually here.

By noon we’d reached the foothills north of Pawntucket.

I stopped the truck, and Seb and I got out. My hometown spread out below us like a picture postcard, so normal-looking that it made my skin prickle. Except that it was totally silent – I could sense only a handful of people.

Was Nina one? And did she, like the rest of the world, think I was a terrorist? Suddenly I remembered the time we drove down to New York City to see a concert – the way Nina and I had danced in the crowd. The thought of her turning against me made my stomach clench.

“So, I guess we’d better go check it out,” I said finally. Seb nodded.

As I opened the car door again, I stiffened, the keys gouging into my palm. It was that same weird sensation I’d felt at the abandoned house – as if I were the centre of the world, with everything straining towards me.

They all need me, I thought dazedly. And then blinked, wondering what that even meant.

Before I could ask Seb if he’d felt it too, his eyes narrowed. He stood with one arm on top of the open