Gage Tucker made my brain turn to mush. I was screwed. The two times we had been around each other and I felt shit I hadn’t felt in years. No love at first site but serious sexual tension.
Totally. Fuckin’. Screwed.
15
Gage
It had been five months since Cobie died. The first night I go to my bar and I literally run into the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The way my dick responded to her wasn’t okay. I was attracted to her, just my luck.
Sitting at my desk, I dropped my head into my hands. Running my fingers through my hair I squeezed my eyes shut as my head slid down and rested on my desk. It had only been five months, I couldn’t be having these feelings. What kind of person was I? My wife, the mother of my fucking child just died! I should be sitting at home crying not going out and getting a raging boner from my bartender. Dammit!
Slamming my fists onto the desk I heard a picture frame fall over. Lifting my head just enough to see over my arm I saw the silver frame that held the picture of Londyn, just a few days old snuggled with Cobie. Setting the frame back in place I rubbed my eyes with my index fingers.
Who would have thought it would end up like this?
Scooting my chair back from my desk I put my elbows on the arm rests and laced my fingers together, setting my chin on them. After getting the call from my agent this morning I couldn’t be happier that the trade deal had gone through. Starting quarterback and more money. Leaving New York and coming to New Orleans was the best thing for Londyn and for myself. She would be close to family and I would have more help raising her.
Attempting to clear my thought I heard a hard knock on my door.
“It’s open.”
Not looking at the door I pushed out of the chair and walked to the large window overlooking the ocean.
“Hey, man. You ok? I saw you sittin’ at the bar, looked away, and when I looked back you were gone.”
Larkin. He was the exact person I couldn’t talk to about my problem.
Without looking at Larkin I forced a smile and said, “Everything is fine. Just needed to get away for a minute, everyone out there has something to say to me. Needed a breather.”
Larkin took a few steps so he was standing next to me. Forcing myself I brought my eyes to meet his.
“Gage, I know, you miss her. Fuck, she was my sister, but you have to live your life. I know you loved her. She was your wife and you two had a baby, but she’s gone. As much as I fuckin’ hate it and it tears me apart you have to move on. You know that’s what Co would want. She would want you happy.”
Sighing I dropped my gaze to the floor. “I can’t talk to you about this. She was your sister, my wife, and the mother of my child. I loved her and just thinking about another female should make me sick.”
Larkin placed his hand on my shoulder and said, “You need to talk to someone, Gage. It’s not healthy to keep it all in.”
I tensed. Lifting my head to look him square in the eye I said, “Didn’t know you were a fuckin’ shrink. Thanks for those words of wisdom, but I think I can handle my own damn life. I mean, I was the one who stepped up when you fuckin’ left. I think I got this shit covered.” I saw hurt flash across his face before it morphed into raw anger.
I didn’t care.
Larkin narrowed his eyes and spoke with venom, “You know what, you’re right. You did step up but that wasn’t by my choice and you know it. I’m not offering words of fuckin’ wisdom, just the truth, fucker. You can take it how you want but you need help. Fuckin’ talk to someone, even if it’s not me.”
Larkin dropped his hand from my shoulder, turned and walked out. Slamming the door on his way.
Who did he think he was? I was fine. I didn’t need some shrink telling me I was fucked in the head. I already knew that.
Taking a few deep breaths I pulled my phone out to text my mom, I needed to see how Londyn was doing.
Me: How’s Londyn? How did she do getting a bath? Did she drink all her bottle before she fell asleep?
Slipping my phone back into my pocket I started toward the door when it came flying open and a highly pissed off Jenna came storming through. Normal Jenna didn’t scare me but pissed off Jenna, now that scared me shitless.
“Gage Michael Tucker, you fucking dick jockey! I love you and I will always be there for you but you are going too far. You need to take your depressed ass to therapy.”
Holy fuck! Why won’t people leave me the hell alone?
“Jenna, I am not fuckin’ depressed. I’m living the fuckin’ life,” I said sarcastically. I held my hands up, waving them around my office for show.
“Gage, why won’t you talk to me? We used to talk about everything.” Jenna’s voice was quiet, hurt. She started to reach for me until I opened my mouth.
“And then you left me, got married, and moved to the other side of the country. So, excuse the fuck outta me for not telling you everything,” I bit out.
She drew back. The look on her face told me I had just crushed her. Swallowing, she took a few deep breaths before releasing her rage. “You know what, fuck face, you’re not so perfect yourself. I’m not the one who ended up with a baby after a one night stand. I have a family and a life I love. Can you say that? Can you say you’re happy with your life?”
Jenna’s words felt like a slap in the face.
Clenching my jaw, I drew my hands into fists, slamming my left hand into the wall. Jenna never flinched. Instead I could see her anger only intensify and radiate in waves off of her.
“Aren’t you just so mature? Who goes around punching shit because they got put in their place? You need professional help. You have a daughter and you’re the only parent she has left. If you don’t do it for yourself, at least do it for her. She deserves the Gage Tucker I know. Not this angry, depressed fuck you’re being.”
Grinding my teeth I hissed, “Get out!
Jenna bit her bottom lip, her face red. She shot back, “You can’t throw me out Gage. Not now. Not after everything we have been through. Get mad at me all you want, but one day you will realize just how right I am. You can’t push me outta your life. My stubborn ass ain’t leavin’ so get used to seein’ my face.”
I could feel my jaw ticking. Jenna could piss me off like no one else could. “Fine, I’ll leave.” Walking passed Jenna I made sure to bump her with my shoulder.
“Go to hell, Gage. Do you worst but you won’t break me. Not when it comes to you and your happiness. I will always be there, even when you don’t want me to be.”
I paused at the door, letting out an empty laugh. I jerked the handle and said, “We’ll see about that.” I opened the door and walked out, letting it slam behind me.
Making my way through the crowd and to the bar I ignored person after person trying to talk to me. I didn’t want small talk, I wanted drunk.
Really, really drunk. Forget the world drunk.
Spotting an empty stool at the bar, I grabbed it and slid into the seat.
There she was.
Annie was leaning over grabbing bottles of alcohol. As she was leaning up she sweetly asked, “Can I help ya?”
Setting the bottles on the counter she brought her eyes to mine. Her sapphire blue eyes were soaking me in. Her tight ‘Wet Spot’ t-shirt hugged her large tits and stopped just below her belly button, showing off her athletic stomach and making me fight another hard-on.
Giving her a half smile I said, “Double shot of tequila with salt and lime, please.”
Annie stared for a few seconds before raking her bottom teeth over her upper lip. Jesus fuck that was hot.
