“No. I mean, I do like it. Just confused as to why you have it so big and in your room.”
“I love how at peace and happy the three of you look. Don’t get mad, but in my man cave I may or may not have a few more pictures hanging up.”
I think my jaw was sitting on the floor. My eyes the size of saucers. He had more pictures…of me? He was really starting to blur the lines and play with my heart. “Why do you have pictures of me?”
Gage ran his hand along my back. “You’re gorgeous. Why wouldn’t I want pictures of you in my house?”
“When did you take the pictures?” I asked, still somewhat in shock.
“Different times. Most of them are on the beach. I have one though, my favorite. It’s from the hotel in New Orleans. When you woke up and were freaking out that Gabe would shit a brick if you weren’t with him. You jumped out of bed looking for your clothes. You stopped for just a second and looked out the window at the sun rise. The sun was casting a shadow over you, making it look like a silhouette. It’s simple and fuckin’ hot as hell.”
“Gage.” I tried to say with conviction but my voice was breathy. “You’re starting to mess with my head. We both said we weren’t ready for something like this. Then, you say and do shit like we are a couple. I don’t know what to think.”
Kissing me behind my ear, he whispered, “Don’t think. Just listen to your body.” He slipped one hand around my waist and pulled me back so my back was flush against his chest. His other hand was in my hair. He ran kisses along my neck and shoulder. “Annie, I can’t help how my body reacts to you. When you’re around I’m hard. I need to be inside you.”
My head was spinning. My knees were weak. I attempted to nod. I was too light headed to be sure if I nodded or looked like a drunk chicken with its head cut off. Gage spun me around and captured my mouth. I was lost. Somewhere along the way, not realizing, I had let Gage in. I was falling. Hard and fast. Not knowing if Gage was going to catch me.
21
Gage
Three months. That’s how long it had been since our hotel hook up. Every chance I got I made the drive from the apartment I was renting in New Orleans to Fairhope. I loved spending time with Annie. What I loved even more was how well Annie and Gabe fit with Londyn and myself. I’m sure to an outside eye we looked like a family. We felt like a family and that scared me.
Annie loved Londyn. Watching them together made me realize how easily I could fall for her. Or was I already falling for her?
“Hello?”
“Hey, Jenna. Do you have a minute?”
“Gage, you sound nervous. Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“Hold on one second. Evalyn Grace, get over her and pick up your toys like mommy said or I will throw them away.” I heard Evie crying. Jenna turned her attention back to me. “Gage, you still there?”
“Yeah. You sound busy though, I will let you go.”
“What? No, Gage. Tell me what’s going on.”
I rubbed my eyes. Holding my phone between my head and shoulder I picked Londyn up. “I don’t know what to do.”
“About…” Jenna asked slowly.
“Annie. We have been doing this friendly fuck thing for three months. I like her, Jenna. Like, a lot. We agreed though that neither of us wants anything more. But, just thinking about another guy touching her or flirting with her has me worked up. When I’m away from her I miss her. Everything. The way she smells like vanilla. The way her dark hair falls into her face. Her blue eyes twinkling when she plays with our kids. The way her face wrinkles up when she gets aggravated. The way my heart picks up by just seeing her…all of it.”
Jenna was silent. I heard her sniffle before saying, “Gage, you’re falling for her.”
“Why don’t you talk to her? You need to talk to her, not me. Tell her what you just told me. She would be crazy not to love you back. I know she guards her heart because of her past, as do you. But, I’ve seen the two of you. You’re perfect.”
“Jenna, I can’t love her.” Londyn started wiggling around. I sat her back and the floor and watched as she crawled to her pile of toys.
“Can’t or won’t?”
“There isn’t a difference.”
“Yes there is. I figured that out myself. Aren’t you the one who told me not too long ago, and I quote ‘
I hated the Jenna still got upset about what we went through. It wasn’t her fault. I knew she wasn’t in love with me. Looking back, I’m not entirely sure I was truly in love with her either. We had always been with each other, things with her felt safe. I wanted to know she would never get hurt. I knew with me she was safe. Keeping someone safe doesn’t really define love. After everything she had been through I didn’t want her to be alone. I was the answer.
“Jenna, nothing in the past is your fault. I knew the entire time, I just didn’t want to face reality. I was afraid of losing you. Back then, if I lost you, I lost everything. You walking away from me was probably one of the best damn things you ever did for me. Because of that, I fell in love with Cobie and became a daddy. I just don’t think my heart is strong enough to love again. I don’t think I can risk it.”
“Don’t make me out to be some saint. I fucked you over. You were my best friend and I let you rescue me from something that was my own fault. I should have told you no from the beginning. I wasn’t fair to you. But, I didn’t want to lose you, either. And now, you’re not being fair to Annie. I’m not saying go and profess your love to her. Just talk.”
Sighing, I fell back into the couch. Londyn turned her head, smiling. She looked so much like Cobie. “I wasn’t supposed to go to Fairhope until tomorrow. Maybe, after the game and interview tomorrow I will drive home and surprise her.”
I could hear Jenna smiling through the phone. Her voice a little more light hearted. “It will be worth it, trust me. You two seem perfect for each other. She makes you happy. You deserve someone who makes you smile.”
“She does. Thank you, J. For everything. Love you.”
“No, Gage. Thank you for always being there. I’ll talk to you later. Love you, too.”
I tossed my phone onto the couch beside me and watched Londyn. It was crazy that she was almost one. That Cobie had been gone for eight months. She missed Londyn rolling over, laughing, playing in the sand, saying “Dada” for the first time, crawling, and taking her first steps. The tightening in my chest had me rubbing my fist on it. I missed her. Being with Annie eased the pain. Jenna was right, she made me happy. Very happy.
Hearing my phone chime, I picked it up and saw a text from Trent.
Trent: Hitting up Sinners & Saints. You game?
Me: Nah. I have Londyn.
Trent: Babysitter bro.
Trent: Kline’s wife said she would watch her. No excuses. Get ur ass over here. Guys night.
Me: Fine. Be there around 8.
Maybe that’s what I needed. A night out with the guys and a few drinks. Loosen up a bit. My mind was on
