Candlelight Christmas

“Indubitably.”

“And then we’ll be together at Christmas.”

“That’s right. Maybe we’ll have Christmas in Avalon instead of Florida this year. I could get us season passes at Saddle Mountain. Maybe I’ll just get us the whole resort.”

“Okay.” A tremulous smile curved Charlie’s mouth.

Logan took the little boy in his arms. Despite everyone’s exclamations over how he’d grown, Charlie felt so small and fragile. He was being taken away to the other side of the world, where Logan couldn’t see him or touch him, inhale the little boy smell of him, lie next to him while he fell asleep at night. “I’ll miss you, buddy.”

“Me, too.”

“Okay. One more kiss and a hug.”

A big squeeze. Logan pressed his lips to his son’s warm, silky red hair. “So long, pal.” He pasted on a smile and pretended a piece of his heart was not being torn out. Then he stood up and headed for his car. At the edge of the parking lot, he turned and watched Charlie and his other family bustling around. Just for a moment, Charlie paused and looked back. He offered a big smile, and then their special salute, index finger and pinky in the air as if at a rock concert. Then Charlie turned back to the family and was swept into the business of leaving.

The hole in Logan’s chest felt as big and jagged as the Grand Canyon.

“Fuck,” he said again, and without thinking, broke the painted paddle in two.

“You look as if you could use a friend,” said a voice behind him.

He swung around. Darcy Fitzgerald was walking toward him, carrying an overnight bag. “Or an anger- management class,” she added, eyeing the broken paddle.

“Just handed my son off to his mom,” Logan said. “Never the best start to the day.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s hard.”

Hell no, she had no idea. He wasn’t going to argue with her, though. “I’ll deal,” he said, picking up the pieces of Charlie’s paddle, the paddle he’d promised to safeguard. To change the subject, he asked, “You’re going back to the city?”

“That’s right.” She tilted her face to the sun. “Hard to leave on a day like today.”

He kind of hated it that Darcy had come upon him in such a vulnerable moment, his emotions raw from having Charlie ripped from him.

“India said Charlie lives part-time in Oklahoma.”

“That’s right.”

“Must be so challenging for you.”

“Every time I say goodbye to Charlie, it kills me a little bit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I need to get going,” he said.

“Back to work?”

“That’s right.”

“So, your sister said you’re in business for yourself?”

She was probably just making polite conversation. But her question annoyed him. Maybe she was fishing for information on him. Did he have a steady, stable job? Was he a good prospect? A catch?

Some devil made him reply, “As a matter of fact, I’m just about to change jobs. That local ski area I mentioned? I’ll be taking it over.”

He had no idea where those words had come from. Probably the idea had been simmering on the back burner of his mind for a long time. But all of a sudden it was the truest thing he’d said since telling Daisy Bellamy, “Let’s have the baby and raise it together,” eleven years ago.

Hearing a guy declare he was going to take on such a risky enterprise was bound to send a woman running for cover. Trying to make a living by running a ski resort was like betting on horses or playing the lottery.

Darcy’s reaction was the last thing he’d expected. “That’s awesome,” she said.

“Awesome as in a wise investment, or awesome as in bat-shit crazy?”

She laughed. “Depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you.”

“Why? Does my opinion matter?”

Not really, he thought. There had been a time, long ago, when he’d put great stock in opinions—of parents, teachers, coaches. There had been a time when his father’s opinion had mattered so much that Logan had lost himself. He could admit that now. He had been lost in some mythic quest for perfect—on the soccer field, in school, in business.

Then out of the worst thing to happen in his life had come the best thing he’d ever done—Charlie. Since he became a dad, every move he made had been for Charlie’s sake.

Telling Darcy about the ski resort made Logan feel a spark of...something. That touch or spike that happened when an idea struck a chord. He hadn’t felt it in a long time. Since Charlie had left, Logan had tried to do the right thing—take care of his business and his life, contribute to his 401(k), go to the dentist for regular checkups. He’d done everything by the book and look what it had brought him. Charlie was moving farther away —proof that doing the right thing did not automatically cause the right thing to happen. For all of his efforts, he had nothing but routine predictability. It was time to shake things up. He’d been good long enough.

“I’m ready to take the risk,” he told Darcy. “Are you a risk taker?”

“I have been.” She touched her bottom lip with her finger, an absent gesture. “Not lately, though. I used to be a frequent flier when it comes to taking risks. But sometimes that means you come crashing down. Still, I think I liked myself better when I was a risk taker.”

Odd thing to say. He found himself wanting to hear more. He needed to have a normal conversation right now. He needed to escape the torn-up feeling inside. “How about we—”

“Oh, good, you’re here,” said India, hurrying toward them. “I was wondering if I was going to see my baby brother before we left.”

“Lucky you,” he said, giving her a hug.

“The baby of the family,” India said to Darcy. “You’d never know it by his height, though.” She stepped back and beamed at them both. “It’s good to see you two getting along. I knew you’d hit it off. Mom and Dad are crazy about Darcy.”

Shoot. The last thing he wanted was matchmaking by his family. “Is that what we’re doing?” Logan asked. “Hitting it off?”

Darcy shrugged. “Nobody’s hitting anything. Hey, India, did you know your baby brother’s buying a ski resort?”

“Right,” India said, “very funny.”

“She doesn’t believe you,” Darcy pointed out.

“She will.”

“I’m telling Dad,” said India.

“She’s always been the family snitch,” he told Darcy. For a split second, he pictured his father turning purple, with steam coming out of his ears. “What the hell are you thinking? Are you out of your fool mind?” Al O’Donnell would demand.

Yeah, Dad, maybe I am.

India gave him a hug. “We have to go. Don’t do anything crazy, okay?”

“Right.” He stepped away and there was an awkward moment when he faced Darcy. “Nice meeting you,” he said.

“Likewise.” She hiked her bag up on her shoulder.

“See you at Thanksgiving, yes?” India said.

* * *

Logan had one more goodbye to say—to Charlie’s friend Andre. The boy’s mom had come up on the train, and he saw them both off at the station. Maya Martin was stunningly beautiful, with caramel-colored skin, abundant dark hair and slender gorgeous legs. Yet she had a fragile look about her, harried and worn. Logan knew she’d endured a lot of trouble in her life, and he knew it wasn’t easy being a single parent. But beyond that, he didn’t know much about her.

So when Maya faced him with a troubled quirk on her brow, he braced himself to find out more.