No, the best thing to do would be to end their relationship now. Before she got any more attached. Before he forgot all the reasons he couldn’t be the man she needed.
Part of him wanted to go talk to her right then, but it wasn’t practical. Night was falling over Houston, which meant the fans would be hitting the venue any minute now. Since the last thing he wanted to do was run the gauntlet tonight just to get to the stage, he needed to hit the dressing room pretty damn quickly. With a wave to Gerald, one of the band’s security guards, he ducked backstage. Headed for the dressing room the concert promoter had designated for Shaken Dirty. The concert didn’t start for a couple of hours, but he wanted some time to think. To just be.
He pulled up short when he saw Jared leaning against the wall outside the dressing room, cell phone in his hand.
“Hey, man. Everything okay with Victoria?” Ryder asked. He couldn’t think of another reason Jared would be standing in the hallway looking so grim-faced when his fiancee had to be around somewhere.
“Yeah, she’s fine, I guess. She went shopping a few hours ago and I haven’t heard from her.”
“Security’s with her, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So she’s fine.” Ryder smiled at him. “Probably just wanted to get something special for the show tonight.”
“Yeah. You’re probably right.” Still, he checked his cell for the third time in as many minutes.
“And then I figure we won’t be seeing you anywhere except on stage for the next few days.”
Jared’s teeth came together with a snap. It was Ryder’s first clue that there was more on his mind than Victoria—an idea that was reinforced when his best friend said, “Kind of like we haven’t been seeing much of you around lately?”
He froze at the too casual tone in Jared’s voice. They’d been friends long enough for him to know that when Jared pulled it out, shit was about to go bad. “You got something you want to ask me?”
“I thought I just did.”
Fuck. “Jared—” He held out a placating hand even though part of him wanted to tell the other man to screw off. That what was between him and Jamison was nobody’s business but theirs. But that wasn’t fair, either, not when he knew Jared was just looking out for his sister.
“You told me you were going to stay away from her.”
“I thought I was. I’d planned to.”
“Shit.” Jared looked like he’d been run over by the tour bus. “So you really are fucking around with Jamison?”
Ryder’s back went up immediately. “Don’t talk about her like that. Jamison doesn’t fuck around.”
“I was talking about
He didn’t have a fucking clue what to say to that, knew that he’d be damned whatever came out of his mouth. But he couldn’t just stand there with his thumb up his ass all night either. He needed to tell Jared something and the best he could come up with was, “Jamison’s special.”
Jared didn’t look impressed. “I’m well aware of that. It’s why I warned you to stay the hell away from her.”
“I tried! Sleeping with my best friend’s little sister wasn’t exactly on my agenda, you know.”
Jared winced. “I could have gone my whole fucking life without hearing those words come out of your mouth.”
“Seems fair, considering I could have gone my whole life without saying them.”
Jared didn’t respond right away and silence stretched, taut and dangerous, between them. “Why her?” Jared finally asked. “You could have picked anyone. Why’d you go after Jamison?”
“First of all, I didn’t go after her. I kind of got broadsided by this whole thing. And secondly, why not Jamison? She’s smart, funny, beautiful, caring. Plus she listens, you know? She understands things that other people don’t.”
With Jamison, what he liked best was holding her after they had sex. Not that the sex wasn’t good—it was amazing, incredible, absolutely mind-blowing. But at the same time he really enjoyed talking to her. She had a wicked sense of humor that only came out after a couple of orgasms and he loved seeing it. Just like he loved being the only one who did see that side of her.
“Holy shit. You’re in love with her.”
Panic assailed him. “I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. You think I don’t recognize the stupid look on your face? It’s the same one I get when I talk about Vicki.”
“How would you know?”
“Wyatt took a picture once. He takes great delight in tormenting me with it. Telling me how whipped I am.”
Ryder snorted. “You are whipped.”
“I am. And it’s a good feeling, my friend.” He turned serious again. “You and Jamison—”
“Are new. We’re really new, so if you want to take a shot at me, I’ll give you one free one. But after that I’m fighting back.”
“Dude, I’m not going to hit you.”
Ryder relaxed a little. “Thanks, I—”
“Then again…” Jared’s fist plowed into his jaw without any warning, sent Ryder flying back into the wall.
“Shit!” he yelled, clutching his injured jaw. “What the fuck? I have to sing in a couple hours.”
“Yeah. I figure that should make it nice and painful.”
“I thought you said you weren’t going to hit me.”
“I wasn’t. Then I remembered you slept with my baby sister. You should be grateful a sore jaw is all you’ve got.” He was grinning when he said the last.
Ryder glared at him, but didn’t argue. Jared had a point.
But then Jared’s smile faded, was replaced by a seriousness that was rare for his friend. “Don’t hurt her. I know you’ve got some really bad shit in your past, but Jamison’s isn’t all sunshine and roses. You know that.”
“Just like you have to know that the absolute last thing I want to do is hurt Jamison.”
“That’s not a promise.”
Ryder shook his head. How could it be when he knew how very likely it was that he would screw things up? It was the one guarantee in his life, the one thing he was exceptionally good at.
Jared wasn’t his best friend for nothing. He could see from the look on his guitarist’s face that the other man knew exactly what he was thinking. “Shit, Ryder.” He sighed. “Then be prepared for a lot worse than a punch in the jaw if you do hurt her.”
“That sounds fair.”
“You think?” Jared asked with a roll of his eyes.
Ignoring his friend’s sarcasm, Ryder stopped him as he went to open the dressing room door. “Don’t tell anyone about Jamison and me, okay? I’m not ready for it to go public.”
For some reason that made Jared smile all over again. “Tell who what? I know nothing.”
Ryder snorted. “Let’s keep it that way.”
…
As the dressing room door closed behind Ryder and her brother, Jamison let out a low, shaky breath and tried to pretend she hadn’t walked up in time to hear the very last part of their conversation. After all, it was none of her business if Ryder wanted to keep their “arrangement” a secret.
And what were they now, anyway? An item? A couple? Fuck friends? Or were they not even that? If Ryder didn’t want anyone to know they were sleeping together, there had to be a good reason. And if it wasn’t worry over Jared finding out, the only other explanation she could come up with was he was afraid the press would get ahold of her. Nothing like a few rabid paparazzi to break a relationship wide open.
But he had to know she was used to the paps. She was around Jared enough when the group wasn’t touring that she’d dealt with her fair share of them—and pretty well, if she did say so herself. So if he wasn’t worried
