The walk to Lucy’s did yield one positive: Starvos’ shop was still open. I didn’t have any money on me though, so I went back home with the plan of collecting some, along with Max so that between us we could get as much food as we could carry. I made him put on four layers of clothing and then some old tracksuit pants and a jumper over the top. I took the last of the cash from Dad’s room. We found some beanies, an army green one for me and a striped Swannies one for Max.
‘Don’t touch anything,’ I told him. ‘You have to remember that.’
He nodded enthusiastically, practically pawing at the door. When we went out Max cupped his hands over his mouth, breathing into them, his skinny frame visibly jarring against the cold. He laughed and looked around.
‘It’s freakin’ freezing!’
‘Yes.’
The soles of our shoes crunched in the snow as we trudged up the drive. Twice Max lost his footing and slid backward, he put his hand on the ground to steady himself, then he looked at me in alarm.
‘Just don’t go licking your hand,’ I said.
Starvos was wearing a jumper. He sat on a stool behind the counter, doing the crossword in the back of a
‘They are the only candles I can find. At least the mosquitoes won’t be biting me!’ He laughed and shook his head. Barked a ragged smoker’s cough. ‘How are you boys? Your father, is he back?’
‘Not yet.’ I told him what the cops had said about people being stuck on the roads. I tried to sound positive, hyper aware of Max listening to my answer. ‘Don’t think it will be much longer.’
‘I hope not. Anyway, what can I help you with?’ Starvos motioned to the empty shelves. The only things left in the shop were chocolate bars and chewing gum at the counter. ‘My stock is in the storeroom. You can’t trust people in times like this. And I tell you now, four cans only, that’s all I can give you,’ Starvos instructed. ‘I’m sorry, I do want to help you with your father away, but I can’t let one person buy the lot, you know? I have a responsibility as a shopkeeper. I am in a difficult position.’
I asked for two cans of spaghetti and two of creamed corn. ‘Can I get a packet of chips?’
‘Yes. One. You must understand I have to be fair to everybody.’
‘No worries.’ I gave Starvos some money. He handed me the change.
‘Two-eighty change? How much are the cans?’
‘The cans are four dollars each. There is no stock coming in, prices go up.’ He shrugged as if it were a phenomenon completely out of his control. ‘I do not have to open, you know, but I do. It is my responsibility. As a shopkeeper.’ He handed me the plastic bag.
‘Right. Sure.’
‘You have a good day.’
‘That’s robbery,’ I muttered to Max as we left the shop.
‘Nah, this is robbery.’ He pulled two Mars Bars and some Juicy Fruit out of his pocket.
I laughed. ‘Where’d you learn to do that?’
He shrugged.
I took a Mars Bar from him. ‘You make a habit of shoplifting?’
‘He was ripping us off.’
‘You little klepto.’
‘What?’
‘Kleptomaniac. Compulsive shoplifter.’
‘At least I’m sharing.’
‘At least.’ I ran forward, swivelled my feet so I slid in the snow. Max laughed and did the same. We chewed our Mars Bars and slid our way down the hill.
Six
We found a wire rack in the kitchen cupboard – the kind you use to cool cakes on. I propped it up on two bricks over the fire. Max watched me, gnawing his nails.
‘There,’ I said. ‘Instant barbecue.’
We heated cans of mushroom and chicken soup. Max found a packet of marshmallows. We stabbed them with forks and toasted them over the fire until their skin charred and they burst thick pink goo.
‘How come Mum and Dad never took us camping, you think?’
‘You’re too annoying without a TV.’
‘Shut up. I’m fine with no TV.’
We chewed marshmallows, staring into the fire.
‘It’s good that the police can help us find Dad,’ said Max.
‘Um, yeah.’
‘They’ll come back as soon as they find him, won’t they?’
‘I guess.’
‘Do you think it’ll take much longer?’
‘Max, I don’t know.’
‘Don’t you think they’ll be able to?’ His tone changed, like he was pissed at me.
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘But that’s what you think.’
‘I don’t know what I think.’
‘He’s coming back.’ There was a tremor in his voice.
‘I hope so.’
In the dark I could see tears beginning to slide down his cheeks.
‘He wouldn’t just leave us here, Fin. He wouldn’t. Even if he couldn’t drive through the snow, he’d still come back to us.’
‘I know he would. If he could. I’m not saying he wouldn’t.’
‘But you think he’s dead or something.’
‘I don’t think anything, Max. It’s gonna be alright, yeah?’
‘Why did he have to follow her? He should have stayed here with us.’
‘Yeah, he should have.’
‘It’s my fault he went.’ He sniffed loudly, wiped snot with his sleeve.
‘It’s not, Max.’
‘Yeah, it is.’
‘He’s the adult, Max. He’s the parent. Not you, not either of us. He was supposed to stay here with us. Just like he was supposed to be here that afternoon when Mum left. He was supposed to be the one to find her gone, but he was off… dicking around. If he wasn’t such an arsehole Mum would have stayed.’
Max frowned at me. I could see his mind ticking over. ‘What do you mean?’
I wanted to tell him what I meant. I wanted to tell him what I knew about Dad, but that would mean destroying the picture he had of Dad. I couldn’t do it. I knew too much what it felt like to realise your father wasn’t the hero you thought he was. I knew it meant your childhood was over.
‘Nothing. I just… don’t blame yourself.’ I shifted closer to him, put my arm around his shoulder. I pulled him in and tried to remember the last time I’d hugged him. ‘He was the one that decided to follow Kara.’
‘I freakin’ hate Kara.’
‘Yeah, Maximum.’ I tried to laugh. ‘We all know you hate Kara.’
‘Maybe she kidnapped Dad.’
‘That’s probably it. Dunno how she expects us to pay for his ransom, though. She’s spent all his money.’
