Noll hands Max the water and Lucy gets back in the car.
‘Should have used those moves at school, Noll,’ I say.
He gives a tight smile.
Twenty-nine
We drive and drive. It’s stupidly slow, but there are track marks through the slush and I find that comforting. Then another demountable building by the side of the road. Lucy pulls the car over. I see movement through the window of the demountable. A sign of life. I get out, open the boot of the station wagon and cover the food with blankets. Max opens his door.
‘I want you to stay here,’ I say.
‘I can handle it!’
‘You’re staying here.’
He rolls his eyes. Noll and Lucy get out of the car and we make our way to the building. Footprints have muddied the snow at the doorway, but there is no sound from behind the closed door. I raise a fist and knock. The three of us wait; Lucy and Noll look as nervous as I feel. At first there is nothing but the sound of our own breathing, then a loud cough and movement, voices. The door opens. A face, skull-like. He peers out at us. Behind him on the floor are bundled shapes which I take to be people.
‘No room in here,’ he says. Then he notices Lucy, he looks her up and down in a way which makes me want to hit him. ‘You can come in. We got some food, could have a little trade.’
I open my mouth to abuse the guy, but Lucy gets there first.
‘What did you say?’ She narrows her eyes.
‘I’m kidding, I’m kidding.’
Several others, all men, crowd behind him and peer out the door at us. The three of us back up a bit and I’m already calculating the length of time it will take to run to the car.
‘Go back,’ I say to her. She hesitates for a moment and I sense that she’d rather stay and kick the guy in the nuts instead. ‘Please, Luce.’
‘I’m not doing that.’
‘She can come in ’ere with us, can’t ya gorgeous,’ growls the skull.
She steps forward, chin raised, and my breath catches in the back of my throat.
‘Shut. The. Fuck. Up,’ she hisses at him. ‘One question. Is there a Greg Heath here?’
I already know the answer. ‘Lucy, leave it.’
‘I dunno, sweetheart. Why don ya come inside and have a look?’
He begins to come down the stairs. The others follow. They’re all bigger than us, but don’t look as well fed.
‘Come on, sugar. Just for a little while, you might like it!’
‘Run,’ I say under my breath. I grab her hand and the three of us bolt for the car. Lucy loses her footing in the slush. One of the men lunges at her, but I haul her up and away. We make it to the car, where Max, seeing what has happened, has opened all the doors ready for us. The men give up, staggering to a stop, they shout names at Lucy, sick, stomach-churning things. She looks straight ahead and accelerates away.
‘We’re going to be safer in the city – that’s the theory, yes?’ she asks me.
‘That’s the theory.’
‘Excellent,’ she says. ‘I look forward to it.’
Another evening approaches and the sky darkens. Flakes of snow drift and quiver in the beam of the headlights. Then, up ahead, the red glint of tail-lights, a row of parked cars. We slow to a stop. Ahead, in front of the cars, is a razor-wire fence stretched across the freeway. There are barricades and ‘road closed’ signs. The fence is about nine feet tall. Lucy opens her door a fraction so the internal light turns on. She pulls out the maps and unfolds it across the steering wheel.
‘Where are we exactly?’ she asks.
‘Um… maps aren’t really my strong point.’
‘Shame. Me neither. Noll?’
Noll leans through the middle. He runs his finger along the thick black line that indicates the highway. He stops at a point struck through with felt pen, a red line that curves across the map, bisecting the outer west of Sydney from the inner.
‘What the hell?’ asks Lucy.
Noll slumps back in his seat. ‘Battery, Lucy,’ he says. She sighs and closes the car door, the light goes out.
As discreetly as I can I reach under the seat for the gun, hoping Noll doesn’t see it in the dark. I tuck it into my jeans. I take the torch and get out, head toward the barricade. There is a sign but I need to get closer to read it. As I near the fence it becomes clear that the cars aren’t neatly stopped in front of the barricade, but have made an effort to drive straight through. The torchlight glints and spider-webs across the cracked windscreens and as I get closer I see the sides of the cars are gouged with small holes. Bullet holes? They can’t be. I stop. I look closer. I’ve never seen bullet holes before, not in real life. Why would they shoot at the cars? I shine the torchlight through the windows of the car closest to me. I see the dark stains across the seats, splatters across the dashboard.
I can’t breathe. The ground seems to tilt and I crouch down low. My hands and face and the back of my neck sting with heat as though slapped and I am aware that my skin is damp with sweat. I try to take big gulps of air. I pull at the fingertips of my gloves and yank my hands free. I plunge my palms into the snow, in the torchlight it glitters silver. It feels cleansing and I want to rub it over my face. I breathe and I work my hands down through the snow until they meet the bitumen. I stay there, head down, eyes closed, palms on the ground.
‘Fin? Where are you? I can’t see you!’ It’s my mum and I’m crouching behind a big rock in the picnic area of the national park. I love to hide from her like this because she goes mental.
‘Fin?’ It’s Lucy. I open my eyes, stand slowly and let her know that I’m okay. I steady myself against the door of one of the cars and avoid looking inside. I move closer to the sign to read it.
‘Stay where you are! Put yer hands on yer head!’
I do as I’m told.
Max yells out and I will him to shut up and run.
‘Get down on the ground.’
I lower myself to my knees and when I am behind the cover of the cars I slide the gun across the ice, under a car. I put my cheek against the snow and wait while footsteps approach.
The four of us are lined up against the fence, backs to the wire. It’s weirdly comforting to come across someone who acts as if they know what they are doing and are under instructions from… somewhere. The guy who stands in front of us wears an army uniform and is carrying an assault rifle half his size. He wouldn’t look so threatening if it weren’t for the gun. He’s no bigger than me or Noll. I don’t point this out to him though. Instead, I stand next to the others with my hands on my head, like we’re playing some twisted game of Simon Says. He pats us down. He wants to know our names. We tell him. Max’s chin quivers a bit but he lifts his head high.
‘What are yez doin’ here?’ the army guy demands.
‘Trying to get home,’ Lucy answers evenly. ‘Could you kindly tell us why the road’s blocked?’
He shines the torch in our eyes and we squint and shift, anything we say is going to sound suss. I can’t see him in the glare. It’s like talking to a disembodied voice.
‘We were staying in the mountains with friends,’ says Lucy. ‘We thought our parents would come and get us. They didn’t. We’re going home to find them. Why is this part of the city blocked off?’
