'Dirk, I been saving one against the day you'd ask me.'
Dirk found this highly unlikely.
'Only I wand a good fridge you thee, Dobby.'
'This is the best, Dirk. Japanese. Microprocessor controlled.'
'What would a microprothethor be doing id a fridge, Dobby?'
'Keeping itself cool, Dirk. I'll get the lads to bring it round right away. I need to get it off the premises pretty sharpish for reasons which I won't trouble you with.'
'I apprethiade thid, Dobby,' said Dirk. 'Froblem id, I'm not at home at preddent.'
'Gaining access to houses in the absence of their owner is only one of the panoply of skills with which my lads are blessed. Let me know if you find anything missing afterwards, by the way.'
'I'd be happy to, Dobby. Id fact if your ladth are in a mood for carting thtuff off I'd be glad if they would thtart with my old fridge. It badly needth throwing away.'
'I shall see that it's done, Dirk. There's usually a skip or two on your street these days. Now, do you expect to be paying for this or shall I just get you kneecapped straight off, save everybody time and aggravation all round?'
It was never one hundred per cent clear to Dirk exactly when Nobby was joking and he was not keen to put it to the test. He assured him that he would pay him, as soon as next they met.
'See you very soon then, Dirk,' said Nobby. 'By the way, do you know you sound exactly as if someone's broken your nose?'
There was a pause.
'You there, Dirk?' said Nobby.
'Yed,' said Dirk. 'I wad judd liddening to a reggord.'
'Hot Potato!' roared the hi-fi in the caf.
'Don't pick it up. pick it up, pick it up.
'Quick, pass it on, pass it on, pass it on.'
'I said, do you know you sound exactly as if someone's broken your nose?' repeated Nobby.
Dirk said that he did know this, thanked Nobby for pointing it out, said goodbye, stood thoughtfully for a moment, made another quick couple of phone calls, and then threaded his way back through the huddle of posing waiters to find the girl whose coffee he had appropriated sitting at his table.
'Hello,' she said, meaningfully.
Dirk was as gracious as he knew how.
He bowed to her very politely, doffed his hat, since all this gave him a second or so to recover himself, and requested her permission to sit down.
'Go ahead,' she said, 'it's your table.' She gestured magnanimously.
She was small, her hair was neat and dark, she was in her mid-twenties, and was looking quizzically at the half-empty cup of coffee in the middle of the table.
Dirk sat down opposite her and leant forward conspiratorially. 'I expeg,' he said in a low voice, 'you are enquirigg after your coffee.'
'You betcha,' said the girl.
'Id very bad for you, you dow.'
'Is it?'
'Id id. Caffeide. Cholethderog in the milgg.'
'I see, so it was just my health you were thinking of.'
'I was thiggigg of meddy thiggs,' said Dirk airily.
'You saw me sitting at the next table and you thought `There's a nice-looking girl with her health in ruins. Let me save her from herself.''
'In a nudthell.'
'Do you know you've broken your nose?'
'Yeth, of courth I do,' said Dirk crossly. 'Everybody keepth - '
'How long ago did you break it?' the girl asked.
'Id wad broked for me,' said Dirk, 'aboud tweddy middidd ago.'
'I thought so,' said the girl. 'Close your eyes for a moment.'
Dirk looked at her suspiciously.
'Why?'
'It's all right,' she said with a smile, 'I'm not going to hurt you. Now close them.'
With a puzzled frown, Dirk closed his eyes just for a moment. In that moment the girl reached over and
