Chapter Eighteen
The Tin Woodman Talks to Himself
The Tin Woodman had just noticed the cupboards and was curious to know what they contained, so he went to one of them and opened the door. There were shelves inside, and upon one of the shelves which was about on a level with his tin chin the Emperor discovered a Head – it looked like a doll's head, only it was larger, and he soon saw it was the Head of some person. It was facing the Tin Woodman and as the cupboard door swung back, the eyes of the Head slowly opened and looked at him. The Tin Woodman was not at all surprised, for in the Land of Oz one runs into magic at every turn.
'Dear me!' said the Tin Woodman, staring hard. 'It seems as if I had met you, somewhere, before. Good morning, sir!'
'You have the advantage of me,' replied the Head. 'I never saw you before in my life.'
'Still, your face is very familiar,' persisted the Tin Woodman. 'Pardon me, but may I ask if you – eh – eh – if you ever had a Body?'
'Yes, at one time,' answered the Head, 'but that is so long ago I can't remember it. Did you think,' with a pleasant smile, 'that I was born just as I am? That a Head would be created without a Body?'
'No, of course not,' said the other. 'But how came you to lose your body?'
'Well, I can't recollect the details; you'll have to ask Ku-Klip about it,' returned the Head. 'For, curious as it may seem to you, my memory is not good since my separation from the rest of me. I still possess my brains and my intellect is as good as ever, but my memory of some of the events I formerly experienced is quite hazy.'
'How long have you been in this cupboard?' asked the Emperor.
'I don't know.'
'Haven't you a name?'
'Oh, yes,' said the Head; 'I used to be called Nick Chopper, when I was a woodman and cut down trees for a living.'
'Good gracious!' cried the Tin Woodman in astonishment. 'If you are Nick Chopper's Head, then you are Me – or I'm You – or – or – What relation are we, anyhow?'
'Don't ask me,' replied the Head. 'For my part, I'm not anxious to claim relationship with any common, manufactured article, like you. You may be all right in your class, but your class isn't my class. You're tin.'
The poor Emperor felt so bewildered that for a time he could only stare at his old Head in silence. Then he said:
'I must admit that I wasn't at all bad looking before I became tin. You're almost handsome – for meat. If your hair was combed, you'd be quite attractive.'
'How do you expect me to comb my hair without help?' demanded the Head, indignantly. 'I used to keep it smooth and neat, when I had arms, but after I was removed from the rest of me, my hair got mussed, and old Ku- Klip never has combed it for me.'
'I'll speak to him about it,' said the Tin Woodman. 'Do you remember loving a pretty Munchkin girl named Nimmie Amee?'
'No,' answered the Head. 'That is a foolish question. The heart in my body – when I had a body – might have loved someone, for all I know, but a head isn't made to love; it's made to think.'
'Oh; do you think, then?'
'I used to think.'
'You must have been shut up in this cupboard for years and years. What have you thought about, in all that time?'
'Nothing. That's another foolish question. A little reflection will convince you that I have had nothing to think about, except the boards on the inside of the cupboard door, and it didn't take me long to think of everything about those boards that could be thought of. Then, of course, I quit thinking.'
'And are you happy?'
'Happy? What's that?'
'Don't you know what happiness is?' inquired the Tin Woodman.
'I haven't the faintest idea whether it's round or square, or black or white, or what it is. And, if you will pardon my lack of interest in it, I will say that I don't care.'
The Tin Woodman was much puzzled by these answers. His traveling companions had grouped themselves at his back, and had fixed their eyes on the Head and listened to the conversation with much interest, but until now, they had not interrupted because they thought the Tin Woodman had the best right to talk to his own head and renew acquaintance with it.
But now the Tin Soldier remarked:
'I wonder if my old head happens to be in any of these cupboards,' and he proceeded to open all the cupboard doors. But no other head was to be found on any of the shelves.
'Oh, well; never mind,' said Woot the Wanderer; 'I can't imagine what anyone wants of a cast-off head, anyhow.'
'I can understand the Soldier's interest,' asserted Polychrome, dancing around the grimy workshop until her draperies formed a cloud around her dainty form. 'For sentimental reasons a man might like to see his old head once more, just as one likes to revisit an old home.'
'And then to kiss it good-bye,' added the Scarecrow.
'I hope that tin thing won't try to kiss me good– bye!' exclaimed the Tin Woodman's former head. 'And I don't see what right you folks have to disturb my peace and comfort, either.'
'You belong to me,' the Tin Woodman declared.
'I do not!'
'You and I are one.'
'We've been parted,' asserted the Head. 'It would be unnatural for me to have any interest in a man made of tin. Please close the door and leave me alone.'
'I did not think that my old Head could be so disagreeable,' said the Emperor. 'I – I'm quite ashamed of myself; meaning you.'
'You ought to be glad that I've enough sense to know what my rights are,' retorted the Head. 'In this cupboard I am leading a simple life, peaceful and dignified, and when a mob of people in whom I am not interested disturb me, they are the disagreeable ones; not I.'
With a sigh the Tin Woodman closed and latched the cupboard door and turned away.
'Well,' said the Tin Soldier, 'if my old head would have treated me as coldly and in so unfriendly a manner as your old head has treated you, friend Chopper, I'm glad I could not find it.'
'Yes; I'm rather surprised at my head, myself,' replied the Tin Woodman, thoughtfully. 'I thought I had a more pleasant disposition when I was made of meat.'
But just then old Ku-Klip the Tinsmith arrived, and he seemed surprised to find so many visitors. Ku-Klip was a stout man and a short man. He had his sleeves rolled above his elbows, showing muscular arms, and he wore a leathern apron that covered all the front of him, and was so long that Woot was surprised he didn't step on it and trip whenever he walked. And Ku-Klip had a gray beard that was almost as long as his apron, and his head was bald on top and his ears stuck out from his head like two fans. Over his eyes, which were bright and twinkling, he wore big spectacles. It was easy to see that the tinsmith was a kind hearted man, as well as a merry and agreeable one. 'Oh-ho!' he cried in a joyous bass voice; 'here are both my tin men come to visit me, and they and their friends are welcome indeed. I'm very proud of you two characters, I assure you, for you are so perfect that you are proof that I'm a good workman. Sit down. Sit down, all of you – if you can find anything to sit on – and tell me why you are here.'
So they found seats and told him all of their adventures that they thought he would like to know. Ku– Klip was glad to learn that Nick Chopper, the Tin Woodman, was now Emperor of the Winkies and a friend of Ozma of Oz, and the tinsmith was also interested in the Scarecrow and Polychrome.
He turned the straw man around, examining him curiously, and patted him on all sides, and then said:
