you wholesale, for God's sake.'
Was this informational sabotage? He'd meant to set the clone up for a fall, if he could . . .
The clone threw back his head and laughed, a sharp hysterical bark. 'My God, look at yourself! A prisoner, tied to a chair, hours from death—' He swept Miles a huge, ironic bow. 'Oh noble lord, I am overwhelmed by your generosity. But somehow, I don't think your protection is worth spit, just now.' He strode up to Miles, the closest he had yet ventured. 'Flaming megalomaniac. You can't even protect yourself—' impulsively, he slapped Miles across the face, across yesterday's bruises,
So.
'Can you?' the clone finished.
The clone snorted bitter contempt. 'Hardly. I always knew the score. I knew what I was from the beginning. The clones of Jackson's Whole are farmed out, y'see, to paid foster parents, to raise them to maturity. Vat-raised clones tend to have unpleasant health problems—susceptibility to infection, bad cardio-vascular conditioning—the people who are paying to have their brains transplanted expect to wake up in a healthy body.
'I had a kind of foster-brother once—a little older than me—' the clone paused, took a deep breath, 'raised with me. But not educated with me. I taught him to read, a little. . . . Shortly before the Komarrans came and got me, the laboratory people took him away. It was sheer chance that I saw him again afterwards. I'd been sent on an errand to pick up a package at the shuttleport, though I wasn't supposed to go into town. I saw him across the concourse, entering the first-class passenger lounge. Ran up to him. Only it wasn't him any more. There was some horrible rich old man, sitting in his head. His bodyguard shoved me back. …'
The clone wheeled, and snarled at Miles. 'Oh, I knew the score. But once, once, just this once, a Jackson's Whole clone is turning it around. Instead of you cannibalizing my life, I shall have yours.'
'Then where will your life be?' asked Miles desperately. 'Buried in an imitation of Miles, where will Mark be then? Are you sure it will be only me, lying in my grave?'
The clone flinched. 'When I am emperor of Barrayar,' he said through his teeth, 'no one will be able to get at me. Power is safety.'
'Let me give you a hint,' said Miles. 'There is no safety. Only varying states of risk. And failure.' And was he letting his old only-child loneliness betray him, at this late date? Was there anybody home, behind those too- familiar grey eyes staring back at him so fiercely? What snare would hook him? Beginnings, the clone clearly understood beginnings; it was endings he lacked experience of. …
'I always knew,' said Miles softly—the clone leaned closer—'why my parents never had another child. Besides the tissue damage from the soltoxin gas. But they could have had another child, with the technologies then available on Beta Colony. My father always pretended it was because he didn't dare leave Barrayar, but my mother could have taken his genetic sample and gone alone.
'The reason was me. These deformities. If a whole son had existed, there would have been horrendous social pressure put on them to disinherit me and put him in my place as heir. You think I'm exaggerating, the horror Barrayar has of mutation? My own grandfather tried to force the issue by smothering me in my cradle, when I was an infant, after he lost the abortion argument. Sergeant Bothari—I had a bodyguard from birth—who stood about two meters tall, didn't dare draw a weapon on the Great General. So the sergeant just picked him up, and held him over his head, quite apologetically—on a third-story balcony—until General Piotr asked, equally politely, to be let down. After that, they had an understanding. I had this story from my grandfather, much later; the sergeant didn't talk much.
'Later, my grandfather taught me to ride. And gave me that dagger you have stuck in your shirt. And willed me, half his lands, most of which still glow in the dark from Cetagandan nuclears. And stood behind me in a hundred excruciating, peculiarly Barrayaran social situations, and wouldn't let me run away, till I was forced to learn to handle them or die. I did consider death.
'My parents, on the other hand, were so
'You are what you do. Choose again, and change.'
The clone hesitated, meeting Miles's eyes directly for almost the first time. 'What guarantee could you possibly give me, that I could trust?'
'My word as Vorkosigan?'
'Bah!'
Miles considered this problem seriously, from the clone's—Mark's—point of view. 'Your entire life to date has been centered on betrayal, on one level or another. Since you've had zero experience with unbroken trust, naturally you cannot judge with confidence. Suppose you tell
The clone opened his mouth, closed it, and stood silent, reddening slightly.
Miles almost smiled. 'You see the little fork, eh?' he said softly. 'The logical flaw? The man who assumes everything is a lie is at least as mistaken as the one who assumes everything is true. If no guarantee can suit you, perhaps the flaw is not in the guarantee, but in you. And you're the only one who can do anything about that.'
'What can I do?' muttered the clone. For a moment, anguished doubt flickered in his eyes.
'Test it,' breathed Miles.
The clone stood locked. Miles's nostrils flared. He was so close—so close—he almost had him—
The door burst open. Galen, dusky with fury, stormed in, flanked by the startled Komarran guards.
'Damn, the time . . . !' the clone hissed. He straightened guiltily, his chin jerking up.
'What the hell do you think you're doing?' demanded Galen. His voice blurred with rage, like a sled over gravel.