And then he'd lead me down a subtle, carefully baited trail that led to my allowing that while, yes, we might someday encounter alien species with wild and fabulous ways, that right now, there was a slightly depressing homogeneity to the world.
On a fine spring day, I defended my thesis to two embodied humans and one prof whose body was out for an overhaul, whose consciousness was present via speakerphone from the computer where it was resting. They all liked it. I collected my sheepskin and went out hunting for Dan in the sweet, flower-stinking streets.
He'd gone. The Anthro major he'd been torturing with his war-stories said that they'd wrapped up that morning, and he'd headed to the walled city of Tijuana, to take his shot with the descendants of a platoon of US Marines who'd settled there and cut themselves off from the Bitchun Society.
So I went to Disney World.
In deference to Dan, I took the flight in realtime, in the minuscule cabin reserved for those of us who stubbornly refused to be frozen and stacked like cordwood for the two hour flight. I was the only one taking the trip in realtime, but a flight attendant dutifully served me a urine-sample-sized orange juice and a rubbery, pungent, cheese omelet. I stared out the windows at the infinite clouds while the autopilot banked around the turbulence, and wondered when I'd see Dan next.
Chapter 1
My girlfriend was 15 percent of my age, and I was old-fashioned enough that it bugged me. Her name was Lil, and she was second-generation Disney World, her parents being among the original ad-hocracy that took over the management of Liberty Square and Tom Sawyer Island. She was, quite literally, raised in Walt Disney World and it showed.
It showed. She was neat and efficient in her every little thing, from her shining red hair to her careful accounting of each gear and cog in the animatronics that were in her charge. Her folks were in canopic jars in Kissimmee, deadheading for a few centuries.
On a muggy Wednesday, we dangled our feet over the edge of the Liberty Belle's riverboat pier, watching the listless Confederate flag over Fort Langhorn on Tom Sawyer Island by moonlight. The Magic Kingdom was all closed up and every last guest had been chased out the gate underneath the Main Street train station, and we were able to breathe a heavy sigh of relief, shuck parts of our costumes, and relax together while the cicadas sang.
I was more than a century old, but there was still a kind of magic in having my arm around the warm, fine shoulders of a girl by moonlight, hidden from the hustle of the cleaning teams by the turnstiles, breathing the warm, moist air. Lil plumped her head against my shoulder and gave me a butterfly kiss under my jaw.
'Her name was McGill,' I sang, gently.
'But she called herself Lil,' she sang, warm breath on my collarbones.
'And everyone knew her as Nancy,' I sang.
I'd been startled to know that she knew the Beatles. They'd been old news in my youth, after all. But her parents had given her a thorough-if eclectic-education.
'Want to do a walk-through?' she asked. It was one of her favorite duties, exploring every inch of the rides in her care with the lights on, after the horde of tourists had gone. We both liked to see the underpinnings of the magic. Maybe that was why I kept picking at the relationship.
'I'm a little pooped. Let's sit a while longer, if you don't mind.'
She heaved a dramatic sigh. 'Oh, all right. Old man.' She reached up and gently tweaked my nipple, and I gave a satisfying little jump. I think the age difference bothered her, too, though she teased me for letting it get to me.
'I think I'll be able to manage a totter through the Haunted Mansion, if you just give me a moment to rest my bursitis.' I felt her smile against my shirt. She loved the Mansion; loved to turn on the ballroom ghosts and dance their waltz with them on the dusty floor, loved to try and stare down the marble busts in the library that followed your gaze as you passed.
I liked it too, but I really liked just sitting there with her, watching the water and the trees. I was just getting ready to go when I heard a soft
'Tell them you're busy,' she said.
'I will,' I said, and answered the call subvocally. 'Julius here.'
'Hi, Julius. It's Dan. You got a minute?'
I knew a thousand Dans, but I recognized the voice immediately, though it'd been ten years since we last got drunk at the Gazoo together. I muted the subvocal and said, 'Lil, I've got to take this. Do you mind?'
'Oh,
'Dan,' I subvocalized, 'long time no speak.'
'Yeah, buddy, it sure has been,' he said, and his voice cracked on a sob.
I turned and gave Lil such a look, she dropped her pipe. 'How can I help?' she said, softly but swiftly. I waved her off and switched the phone to full-vocal mode. My voice sounded unnaturally loud in the cricket- punctuated calm.
'Where you at, Dan?' I asked.
'Down here, in Orlando. I'm stuck out on Pleasure Island.'
'All right,' I said. 'Meet me at, uh, the Adventurer's Club, upstairs on the couch by the door. I'll be there in-' I shot a look at Lil, who knew the castmember-only roads better than I. She flashed ten fingers at me. 'Ten minutes.'
'Okay,' he said. 'Sorry.' He had his voice back under control. I switched off.
'What's up?' Lil asked.
'I'm not sure. An old friend is in town. He sounds like he's got a problem.'
Lil pointed a finger at me and made a trigger-squeezing gesture. 'There,' she said. 'I've just dumped the best route to Pleasure Island to your public directory. Keep me in the loop, okay?'
I set off for the utilidoor entrance near the Hall of Presidents and booted down the stairs to the hum of the underground tunnel-system. I took the slidewalk to cast parking and zipped my little cart out to Pleasure Island.
***
I found Dan sitting on the L-shaped couch underneath rows of faked-up trophy shots with humorous captions. Downstairs, castmembers were working the animatronic masks and idols, chattering with the guests.
Dan was apparent fifty plus, a little paunchy and stubbled. He had raccoon-mask bags under his eyes and he slumped listlessly. As I approached, I pinged his Whuffie and was startled to see that it had dropped to nearly zero.
'Jesus,' I said, as I sat down next to him. 'You look like hell, Dan.'
He nodded. 'Appearances can be deceptive,' he said. 'But in this case, they're bang-on.'
'You want to talk about it?' I asked.
'Somewhere else, huh? I hear they ring in the New Year every night at midnight; I think that'd be a little too much for me right now.'
I led him out to my cart and cruised back to the place I shared with Lil, out in Kissimmee. He smoked eight cigarettes on the twenty minute ride, hammering one after another into his mouth, filling my runabout with stinging clouds. I kept glancing at him in the rear-view. He had his eyes closed, and in repose he looked dead. I could hardly believe that this was my vibrant action-hero pal of yore.
Surreptitiously, I called Lil's phone. 'I'm bringing him home,' I subvocalized. 'He's in rough shape. Not sure what it's all about.'
'I'll make up the couch,' she said. 'And get some coffee together. Love you.'
