Can You Keep A Secret?

in as curt a tone as I can muster.

'Emma, it's me,' comes Jack's familiar voice, and with no warning, I feel a rush of emotion

which almost overwhelms me. I want to cry. I want to hit him, hurt him…

But somehow, I keep control of myself.

'I never want to speak to you again,' I say. I switch off the phone, breathing rather hard.

'Well done!' says Lissy.

An instant later the phone rings again.

'Please, Emma,' says Jack, 'just listen for a moment. I know you must be very upset. But if

you just give me a second to explain-'

'Didn't you hear me?' I exclaim, my face flushing. 'You used me and you humiliated me and I

never want to speak to you again, or see you, or hear you or… or…'

'Taste you,' hisses Jemima, nodding urgently.

'… or touch you again. Never ever. Ever.' I switch off the phone, march inside and yank the

line out of the wall. Then, with trembling hands, I get my mobile out of my bag and, just as it

begins to ring, switch it off.

As I emerge on the balcony again, I'm still half shaking with shock. I can't quite believe it's all

ended like this. In one day, my entire perfect romance has crumbled into nothing.

'Are you OK?' says Lissy anxiously.

'I'm fine. I think.' I sink onto a chair. 'A bit shaky.'

'Now, Emma,' says Jemima, examining one of her cuticles. 'I don't want to rush you. But you

know what you have to do, don't you?'

'What?'

'You have to get your revenge!' She looks up and fixes me with a determined gaze. 'You have

to make him pay.'

'Oh no.' Lissy pulls a face. 'Isn't revenge really undignified? Isn't it better just to walk away?'

'What good is walking away?' retorts Jemima. 'Will walking away teach him a lesson? Will

walking away make him wish he'd never crossed you?'

'Emma and I have always agreed we'd rather keep the moral high ground,' says Lissy

determinedly. ''Living well is the best revenge.' George Herbert.'

Jemima stares at her blankly for a few seconds.

'So anyway,' she says at last, turning back to me. 'I'd be delighted to help. Revenge is actually

quite a speciality of mine, though I say it myself…'

I avoid Lissy's eyes.

'What did you have in mind?'

'Scrape his car, shred his suits, sew fish inside his curtains and wait for them to rot…' Jemima

reels off instantly, as though reciting poetry.

'Did you learn that at finishing school?' says Lissy, rolling her eyes.

'I'm being a feminist, actually,' retorts Jemima. 'We women have to stand up for our rights.

You know, before she married my father, Mummy went out with this scientist chap who

practically jilted her. He changed his mind three weeks before the wedding, can you believe

it? So one night she crept into his lab and pulled out all the plugs of his stupid machines. His

whole research was ruined! She always says, that taught Emerson!'

'Emerson?' says Lissy, staring at her in disbelief. 'As in… Emerson Davies?'

'That's right! Davies.'

'Emerson Davies who nearly discovered a cure for smallpox?'

'Well, he shouldn't have messed Mummy about, should he?' says Jemima, lifting her chin

mutinously. She turns to me. 'Another of Mummy's tips is chilli oil. You somehow arrange to

have sex with the chap again, and then you say. 'How about a little massage oil?' And you

rub it into his… you know.' Her eyes sparkle. 'That'll hurt him where it counts!'

'Your mother told you this?' says Lissy.

'Yes,' says Jemima. 'It was rather sweet, actually. On my eighteenth birthday she sat me down

and said we should have a little chat about men and women-'

Lissy is staring at her incredulously.

'In which she instructed you to rub chilli oil into men's genitals?'

'Only if they treat you badly,' says Jemima in annoyance. 'What is your problem, Lissy? Do

you think you should just let men walk all over you and get away with it? Great blow for

feminism.'

'I'm not saying that,' says Lissy. 'I just wouldn't get my revenge with… chilli oil!'

'Well, what would you do then, clever clogs?' says Jemima, putting her hands on her hips.

'OK,' says Lissy. 'If I was going to stoop so low as get my revenge, which I never would

because personally I think it's a huge mistake…' She pauses for breath. 'I'd do exactly what

he did. I'd expose one of his secrets.'

'Actually… that's rather good,' says Jemima grudgingly.

'Humiliate him,' says Lissy, with a tiny air of vindication. 'Embarrass him. See how he likes it.'

They both turn and look at me expectantly.

'But I don't know any of his secrets,' I say.

'You must do!' says Jemima.

'Of course you do!'

'I don't,' I say, feeling a fresh humiliation. 'Lissy, you had it right all along. Our relationship

was completely one-sided. I shared all my secrets with him — but he didn't share any of his

with me. He didn't tell me anything. We weren't soulmates. I was a completely deluded

moron.'

'Emma, you weren't a moron,' says Lissy, putting a sympathetic hand on mine. 'You were just

trusting.'

'Trusting — moron — it's the same thing.'

'You must know something!' says Jemima. 'You slept with him, for goodness sake! He must

have some secret. Some weak point.'

'An Achilles' heel,' puts in Lissy, and Jemima gives her an odd look.

'It doesn't have to be to do with his feet,' she says, and turns to me, pulling a 'Lissy's lost it'

face. 'It could be anything. Anything at all. Think back!'

I close my eyes obediently and cast my mind back. But my mind's swirling a bit, from all that

schnapps. Secrets… Jack's secrets… think back…

Scotland. Suddenly a coherent thought passes through my mind. I open my eyes, feeling a

tingle of exhilaration. I do know one of his secrets. I do!

'What?' says Jemima avidly. 'Have you remembered something?'

'He…' I stop, feeling torn.

I did make a promise to Jack. I did promise.

But then, so what? So bloody what? My chest swells in emotion again. Why on earth am I

keeping any stupid promise to him? It's not like he kept my secrets to himself, is it?

'He was in Scotland!' I say triumphantly. 'The first time we met after the plane, he asked me to

keep it a secret that he was in Scotland.'

'Why did he do that?' says Lissy.

'I dunno.'