Guards! Guards!

'Three dollars that amulet cost me, ' muttered Brother Dunnykin.

'But it proves it works, ' said the Supreme Grand Master. 'Don't you see, you fools? It works! We can summon dragons!'

'Could be a bit expensive in magical items, ' said Brother Fingers doubtfully.

'…three dollars, it was. No rubbish…'

'Power, ' growled the Supreme Grand Master, 'does not come cheap. '

'Very true, ' nodded Brother Watchtower. 'Not cheap. Very true. ' He looked at the little heap of exhausted magic again. 'Cor, ' he said. 'We did it though, dint we! We only went and bloody well did some magic, right?'

'See?' said Brother Fingers. 'I tole you there was nothin' to it. '

'You all did exceptionally well, ' said the Supreme Grand Master encouragingly.

'…should've been six dollars, but he said he'd cut his own throat and sell it me for three dollars…'

'Yeah, ' said Brother Watchtower. 'We got the hang of it all right! Dint hurt a bit. We done real magic! And dint get et by tooth fairies from out of the woodwork either, Brother Plasterer, I couldn't help noticing. '

The other Brethren nodded. Real magic. Nothing to it. Everyone had just better watch out.

'Hang on, though, ' said Brother Plasterer. 'Where's this dragon gone? I mean, did we really summon it or not?'

'Fancy you asking a silly question like that, ' said Brother Watchtower doubtfully.

The Supreme Grand Master brushed the dust off his mystic robe.

'We summoned it, ' he said, 'and it came. But only as long as the magic lasted. Then it went back. If we want it to stay longer, we need more magic. Understand? And that is what we must get. '

'…three dollars I shan't see again in a hurry…'

'Shut up!'

...

Dearest Father [wrote Carrot] Well, here I am in Ankh-Morpork. It is not like at home. I think it must have changed a bit since Mr Varneshi's great-grandfather was here. I don't think people here know Right from Wrong.

I found Captain Vimes in a common ale-house. I remembered what you said about a good dwarf not going into such places, but since he did not come out, I went in. He was lying with his head on the table. When I spoke to him, he said, pull the other one, kid, it has got bells on. I believe he was the worse for drink. He told me to find a place to stay and report to Sgt Colon at the Watch House tonight. He said, anyone wanting to join the guard needed their head examined.

Mr Varneshi did not mention this. Perhaps it is done for reasons of Hygiene.

I went for a walk. There are many people here. I found a place, it is called The Shades. Then I saw some men trying to rob a young Lady. I set about them. They did not know how to fight properly and one of them tried to kick me in the Vitals, but I was wearing the Protective as instructed and he hurt himself. Then the Lady came up to me and said, ' 'Was I Interested in Bed.' I said yes. She took me to where she lived, a boarding house, I think it is called. It is run by a Mrs Palm. The Lady whose purse it was, she is called Reel, said, You should of seen him, there were 3 of them, it was amazing. Mrs Palm said, It is on the house. She said, what a big Protective. So I went upstairs and fell asleep, although it is a very noisy place. Reel woke me up once or twice to say, Do you want anything, but they had no apples. So I have fallen on my Feet, as they say here but, I don't see how that is possible because, if you fall you fall off your Feet, it is Common Sense.

There is certainly a lot to do. When I went to see the Sgt I saw a place called, The Thieves' Guild!! I asked Mrs Palm and she said, Of course. She said the leaders of the Thieves in the City meet there. I went to the Watch House and met Sgt Colon, a very fat man, and when I told him about the Thieves' Guild he said, 'Don't be An Idiot.' I do not think he is serious. He says, 'Don't you worry about Thieves' Guilds, This is all what you have to do, you walk along the Streets at Night, shouting, It's Twelve O'clock and All's Well.