'There's the kettle. It wasn't much good anyway, and then Errol et it. It was nearly two dollars.' He swallowed. 'We could do with a new kettle, if it's all the same, your lordship.''
The Patrician leaned forward, gripping the arms of his chair.
'I want to be clear about this,' he said coldly. 'Are we to believe that you are asking for a petty wage increase and a domestic utensil?'
Carrot whispered in Colon's other ear.
Colon turned two bulging, watery-rimmed eyes to the dignitaries. The rim of his helmet was passing through his fingers like a mill wheel.
'Well,' he began, 'sometimes, we thought, you know, when we has our dinner break, or when it's quite, like, at the end of a watch as it may be, and we want to relax a bit, you know, wind down ...' His voice trailed away.
'Yes?'
Colon took a deep breath.
'I suppose a dartboard would be out of the question…?'
The thunderous silence that followed was broken by an erratic snorting.
Vimes's helmet dropped out of his shaking hand. His breastplate wobbled as the
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