'What?'
'If we bought a bottle or two, we could go home and then we'd be really inconspicuous.'
Nobby gave this some thought.
'But he said we’ve got to keep our ears open,' he said. 'We're supposed to, what he said, detect anything.'
'We can do that at my house,' said Sgt Colon. 'We could listen all night, really hard.'
'Tha's a good point,' said Nobby. In fact, it sounded better and better the more he thought about it.
'But first,' he announced, 'I got to pay a visit.'
'Me too,' said the sergeant. 'This detecting business gets to you after a while, doesn't it.'
They stumbled out into the alley behind the tavern. There was a full moon up, but a few rags of scruffy cloud were drifting across it. The pair inconspicuously bumped into one another in the darkness.
'Is that you, Detector Sergeant Colon?' said Nobby.
'Tha's right! Now, can you detect the door to the privy, Detector Corporal Nobbs? We're looking for a short, dark door of mean appearance, ahahaha.'
There were a couple of clanks and a muffled swearword from Nobby as he staggered across the alley, followed by a yowl when one of Ankh-Morpork's enormous population of feral cats fled between his legs.
'Who loves you, pussycat?' said Nobby under his breath.
'Needs must, then,' said Sgt Colon, and faced a handy corner.
His private musings were interrupted by a grunt from the corporal.
'You there, Sgt?'
'Detector Sergeant to you, Nobby,' said Sgt Colon pleasantly.
Nobby's tone was urgent and suddenly very sober. 'Don't piss about, Sergeant, I just saw a dragon fly over!'
'I've seen a horsefly,' said Sgt Colon, hiccuping gently. 'And I've seen a housefly. I've even seen a greenfly. But I ain't never seen a dragon fly.'
'Of course you have, you pillock,' said Nobby urgently. 'Look, I'm not messing about! He had wings on him like, like, like great big wings!'
Sergeant Colon turned majestically. The corporal's face had gone so white that it showed up in the darkness.
'Honest, Sergeant!'
Sgt Colon turned his eyes to the damp sky and the rain-washed moon.
'All right,' he said, 'show me.'
There was a slithering noise behind him, and a couple of roof tiles smashed on to the street.
He turned. And there, on the roof, was the dragon.
'There's a dragon on the roof!' he warbled. 'Nobby, it's a dragon on the roof! What shall I do, Nobby? There's a dragon on the roof! It's looking right at me, Nobby!'
'For a start, you could do your trousers up,' said Nobby, from behind the nearest wall.
Вы читаете Guards! Guards!
