Mort

The other two drew their knives.

Mort swallowed. 'This could be unwise,' he said.

'Why?'

'Well, I won't like it, for one.'

'You're not supposed to like it, you're supposed to — die,' said the thief, advancing.

'I don't think I'm due to die,' said Mort, backing away. 'I'm sure I would have been told.'

'Yeah,' said the thief, who was getting fed up with this. 'Yeah, well, you have been, haven't you? Great steaming elephant turds!'

Mort had just stepped backwards again. Through a wall.

The leading thief glared at the solid stone that had swallowed Mort, and then threw down his knife.

'Well, f… me,' he said. 'A f…ing wizard. I hate f…ing wizards!'

'You shouldn't f… them, then,' muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.

The third member of the trio, who was a little slow of thinking, said, 'Hey, he walked through the wall!'

'And we bin following him for ages, too,' muttered the second one. 'Fine one you are, Pilgarlic. I said I thought he was a wizard, only wizards'd walk round here by themselves. Dint I say he looked like a wizard? I said —'

'You're saying a good deal too much,' growled the leader.

'I saw him, he walked right through the wall there —'

'Oh, yeah?'

'Yeah!'

'Right through it, dint you see?'

'Think you're sharp, do you?'

'Sharp enough, come to that!'

The leader scooped his knife out of the dirt in one snaky movement.

'Sharp as this?'

The third thief lurched over to the wall and kicked it hard a few times, while behind him there were the sounds of scuffle and some damp bubbling noises.

'Yep, it's a wall okay,' he said. That's a wall if ever I saw one. How d'you think they do it, lads?'

'Lads?'

He tripped over the prone bodies.

'Oh,' he said. Slow as his mind was, it was quick enough to realize something very important. He was in a back alley in The Shades, and he was alone. He ran for it, and got quite a long way.

Death walked slowly across tiles in the life-timer room, inspecting the serried rows of busy hourglasses. Albert followed dutifully behind with the great ledger open in his arms.

The sound roared around them, a vast grey waterfall of noise.