Mort

said Death.

'Ah,' said Lezek, 'of course, sorry, should have guessed from the clothes. Very necessary work, very steady. Established business?'

I HAVE BEEN GOING FOR SOME TIME, YES,

said Death.

'Good. Good. Never really thought of it as a job for Mort, you know, but it's good work, good work, always very reliable. What's your name?'

DEATH.

'Dad —' said Mort urgently.

'Can't say I recognize the firm,' said Lezek. 'Where are you based exactly?'

FROM THE UTTERMOST DEPTHS OF THE SEA TO THE HEIGHTS WHERE EVEN THE EAGLE MAY NOT GO

, said Death.

'That's fair enough,' nodded Lezek. 'Well, I —'

'Dad —' said Mort, pulling at his father's coat.

Death laid a hand on Mort's shoulder.

WHAT YOUR FATHER SEES AND HEARS IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE AND HEAR,

he said

. DO NOT WORRY HIM. DO YOU THINK HE WOULD WANT TO SEE ME — IN THE FLESH, AS IT WERE?

'But you're Death,' said Mort. 'You go around killing people!'

I? KILL?

said Death, obviously offended.

CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, WOULDN'T IT?

'Well, yes —' said Mort, doubtfully.

Mort had never heard the word 'intrigued'. It was not in regular use in the family vocabulary. But a spark in his soul told him that here was something weird and fascinating and not entirely horrible, and that if he let this moment go he'd spend the rest of his life regretting it. And he remembered the humiliations of the day, and the long walk back home. . . .

'Er,' he began, 'I don't have to die to get the job, do I?'

BEING DEAD IS NOT COMPULSORY.

'And ... the bones ...?'

NOT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

Mort breathed out again. It had been starting to prey on his mind.

'If father says it's all right,' he said.