Night Watch

sergeant. Do your duty!”

“And what would that be at this point, sir?” said Vimes.

“Arrest the ringleaders! And your men will pull the barricade down!”

Vimes sighed. “Very well, sir. If you will stand back, I shall seek them out.”

He walked up to the domestic clutter, aware of eyes watching him before and behind. When he was a few feet away he cupped his hands. “All right, all right, what's going on here?” he shouted.

He was aware of whispering. And he was ready for what happened next. When the stone flew over the top of the furniture he caught it in both hands.

“I asked a civil question,” he said. “Come on!”

There was more whispering. He distinctly heard “—that's the sergeant from last night—” and some sort of sotto voce argument. Then a voice shouted, “Death to the Fascist Oppressors!”

This time the argument was more frantic. He heard someone say “oh, all right”, and then “Death to the Fascist Oppressors, Present Company Excepted! There, is everyone happy now?”

He knew that voice. “Mr Reginald Shoe, is it?” he said.

“I regret that I have only one life to lay down for Whalebone Lane!” the voice shouted, from somewhere behind a wardrobe.

If only you knew, Vimes thought.

“I don't think that will be necessary,” he said. “Come on, ladies and gentlemen. Is this any way to behave? You can't take…the law…into your own…hands…” His voice faltered.

Sometimes it takes the brain a little while to catch up with the mouth.

Vimes turned and looked at the squad, who'd needed no prompting at all to hang back. And then he turned to look at the barricade.

Where, exactly, was the law? Right now?

What did he think he was doing?

The Job, of course. The one that's in front of you. He'd always done it. And the law had always been… out there, but somewhere close. He'd always been pretty sure where it was, and it definitely had something to do with the badge.

The badge was important. Yes. It was shield-shaped. For protection. He'd thought about that, in the long nights in the darkness. It protected him from the beast, because the beast was waiting in the darkness of his head.

He'd killed werewolves with his bare hands. He'd been mad with terror at the time, but the beast had been there inside, giving him strength…

Who knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men? A copper, that's who. After ten years you thought you'd seen it all, but the shadows always dished up more. You saw how close men lived to the beast. You realized that people like Carcer were not mad. They were incredibly sane. They were simply men without a shield. They'd looked at the world and realized that all the rules didn't have to apply to them, not if they didn't want them to. They weren't fooled by all the little stories. They shook hands with the beast.

But he, Sam Vimes, had stuck by the badge, except for that time when even that hadn't been enough and he'd stuck by the bottle instead…

He felt as if he'd stuck by the bottle now. The world was spinning. Where was the law? There was the barricade. Who was it protecting from what? The city was run by a madman and his shadowy chums so where was the law?

Coppers liked to say that people shouldn't take the law into their own hands, and they thought they knew what they meant. They were thinking about the normal times, and men who went round to sort out a neighbour with a club because his dog had crapped once too often on their doorstep. But at times like these, who did the law belong to? If it shouldn't be in the hands of people, where the hell should it be? People who knew better? Then you got Winder and his pals, and how good was that?

What was supposed to happen next? Oh yes, he had a badge, but it wasn't his, not really…and he'd got orders, and they were the wrong ones…and he'd got enemies, for all the wrong reasons… and maybe there was no future. It didn't exist any more. There was nothing real, no solid point on which to stand, just Sam Vimes where he had no right to be…

It was as if his body, trying to devote as many resources as possible to untangling the spinning thoughts, was drawing those resources from the rest of Vimes. His vision darkened. His knees were weak.

There was nothing but bewildered despair.

And a lot of explosions.

Havelock Vetinari knocked politely on the window of the little office just inside the Assassins' Guild main gate.

The duty porter raised the hatch.

“Signing out, Mr Maroon,” said the Assassin.

“Yessir,” said Maroon, pushing a big ledger towards him. “And where are we off to today, sir?”

“General reconnoitring, Mr Maroon. Just generally looking around.”

“Ah, I said to Mrs Maroon last night, sir, that you are a great one for looking around,” said Maroon.

“We look and learn, Mr Maroon, we look and learn,” said Vetinari, signing his name in the book and putting the pen back in its holder. “And how is your little boy?”

“Thank you for asking, sir, he's a lot better,” said the porter.

“Glad to hear it. Oh, I see the Hon. John Bleedwell is out on a commission. To the palace?”

“Now, now, sir,” said Maroon, grinning and waving a finger. “You know I couldn't tell you that, sir, even if I knew.”

“Of course not.” Vetinari glanced at the back wall of the office where, in an old brass rack, were a number of envelopes. The word “Active” was inscribed at the top of the rack.

“Good afternoon, Mr Maroon.”

“'afternoon, sir. Good, er, looking around.”

He watched the young man walk out into the street. Then Maroon went into the cubbyhole next to the office to put the kettle on.

He rather liked young Vetinari, who was quiet and studious and, it had to be said, a generous young man on appropriate occasions. But a bit weird, all the same. Once Maroon had watched him in the foyer, standing still. That was all he was doing. He wasn't making any attempt at concealing himself. After half an hour Maroon had wandered over and said, “Can I help you, sir?”

And Vetinari had said, “Thank you, no, Mr Maroon. I'm just teaching myself to stand still.”

To which there wasn't really any sensible comment that could be made. And the young man must have left after a while, because Maroon didn't remember seeing him again that day.

He heard a creak from the office, and poked his head around the door. There was no one there.

As he made the tea he thought he heard a rustle from next door, and went to check. It was completely empty. Remarkably so, he thought later on. It was almost as if it was even more empty than it would be if there was just, well, no one in it.

He went back to his comfy armchair in the cubbyhole, and relaxed.

In the brass rack, the envelope marked “Bleedwell, J.” slid back slightly.

There were a lot of explosions. The firecrackers bounced all over the street. Tambourines thudded, a horn blared a chord unknown in nature, and a line of monks danced and twirled around the corner, all chanting at the tops of their voices.

Vimes, sagging to his knees, was aware of dozens of sandalled feet gyrating past and grubby robes flying. Rust was yelling something at the dancers, who grinned and waved their hands in the air.

Something square and silvery landed in the dirt.

And the monks were gone, dancing into an alleyway, yelling and spinning and banging their gongs…