The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

What have they been doing? Pinching the food and then saying, ‘It was the rats, honest’? And everyone believed them?”

“No, stupid. People have found gnawed bones and empty egg baskets, that sort of thing,” said Malicia. “And rat droppings all over the place!”

“I suppose you could scratch the bones and I suppose rat-catchers could shovel up a lot of rat droppings…” Maurice conceded.

“And they're killing all the real rats so that there's more for them!” said Malicia triumphantly. “Very clever!”

“Yeah, and that's a bit puzzling,” said Maurice, “because we've met your rat-catchers and, frankly, if it was raining meatballs they wouldn't be able to find a fork.”

“I've been thinking about something,” said Keith, who had been humming to himself.

“Well, I'm glad someone has,” Malicia began.

“It's about wire netting,” said Keith. “There was wire netting in the shed.”

“Is this important?”

“Why do rat-catchers need rolls of wire netting?”

“How should I know? Cages, maybe? Does it matter?”

“Why would rat-catchers put rats in cages? Dead rats don't run away, do they?”

There was silence. Maurice could see that Malicia was not happy about that comment. It was an unnecessary complication. It spoiled the story.

“I may be stupid-looking,” Keith added, “but I'm not stupid. I have time to think about things because I don't keep on talking all the time. I look at things. I listen. I try to learn. I—”

“I don't talk all the time!”

Maurice let them argue and stalked away into the corner of the cellar. Or cellars. They seemed to go on a long way. He saw something streak across the floor in the shadows, and leapt before he could think. His stomach remembered that it had been a long time since the mouse, and it connected itself straight to his legs. “All right,” he said, as the thing squirmed in his paws, “speak up or—”

A small stick hit him very sharply. “Do you mind?” said Sardines, struggling to get up.

“Dere's bno deed to be like dab!” muttered Maurice, trying to lick his smarting nose.

“I've got a rkrklk HAT on, right?” snapped Sardines. “Do you ever bother to look?”

“All ride, all ride, sorwy… why're you here?”

Sardines brushed himself off. “Looking for you or stupid-looking kid,” he said. “Hamnpork sent me! We're in trouble now! You just won't believe what we've found!”

“He wants me?” said Maurice. “I thought he didn't like me!”

“Well, he said it's nasty and evil so you'd know what to do, boss,” said Sardines, picking up his hat. “Look at that, will you? Your claw went right through it!”

“But I did ask you if you could talk, didn't I?” said Maurice.

“Yes, you did, but—”

“I always ask!”

“I know, so—”

“I'm very definite about asking, you know!”

“Yes, yes, you've made your point, I believe you,” said Sardines. “I only complained about the hat!”

“I'd hate anyone to think I don't ask,” said Maurice.

“There's no need to go on and on about it,” said Sardines. “Where's the kid?”

“Back there, talking to the girl,” said Maurice sulkily.

“What, the mad one?”

“That's her.”

“You'd better get them. This is seriously evil. There's a door at the other end of these cellars. I'm amazed you can't smell it from here!”

“I'd just like everyone to be clear that I asked, that's all…”

“Boss,” said Sardines, “this is serious!”

Peaches and Darktan waited for the exploration party. They were with Toxie, another young male rat, who was good at reading and acted as a kind of assistant.

Peaches had also brought “Mr. Bunnsy Has an Adventure”.

“They've been gone a long time,” said Toxie.

“Darktan checks every step,” said Peaches.

“Something's wrong,” said Dangerous Beans. His nose wrinkled.

A rat scurried down the tunnel and pushed frantically past them.

Dangerous Beans sniffed the air. “Fear,” he said.

Three more rats scrambled past, knocking him over.

“What's happening?” said Peaches, as another rat spun her around in its effort to get past. It squeaked at her and rushed on.

“That was Finest,” she said. “Why didn't she say anything?”

“More… fear,” said Dangerous Beans. “They're… scared. Terrified…”

Toxie tried to stop the next rat. It bit him, and ran on, chittering.

“We must go back,” said Peaches urgently. “What've they found up there? Maybe it's a ferret!”

“Can't be!” said Toxie. “Hamnpork killed a ferret once!”

Three more rats ran past, trailing fear behind them. One of them squealed at Peaches, gibbered madly at Dangerous Beans and ran on.

“They… they've forgotten how to talk…” whispered Dangerous Beans.

“Something terrible must have frightened them!” said Peaches, snatching up her notes.

“They've never been that frightened!” said Toxie. “Remember when that dog found us? We were all frightened but we talked and we trapped it and Hamnpork saw it off whimpering…”

To her shock, Peaches saw that Dangerous Beans was crying. “They've forgotten how to talk.”

Half a dozen more rats pushed their way past, screeching. Peaches tried to stop one, but it just squeaked at her and dodged out of the way.

“That was Feedsfour!” she said, turning to Toxie. “I was talking to her only an hour ago! She… Toxie?”

Toxic's fur was bristling. His eyes were unfocused. His mouth was open, showing his teeth. He stared at her, or right through her, and then turned and ran.

She turned and put her paws around Dangerous Beans, as the fear swept over them.

There were rats. From wall to wall, floor to ceiling, there were rats. The cages were crammed full of them; they clung to the wire in front, and to the ceilings. The netting strained with the weight. Glistening bodies boiled and tumbled, paws and noses thrusting through the holes. The air was solid with squeaking and rustling and chittering, and it stank.

What was left of Hamnpork's exploration party were clustered in the middle of the room. Most of it had fled by now. If the smells in that room had been sounds, they would have been shouts and screams, thousands of them. They filled the long room with a strange kind of pressure. Even Maurice could feel it, as soon as Keith broke down the door. It was like a headache outside your head, trying to get in. It banged on the ears.

Maurice was staying a little way behind. You didn't need to be very clever to see that this was a bad situation and one which might need some running away from at any time.

He saw, between their legs, Darktan and Hamnpork and a few other Changelings. They were in the middle of the floor, looking up at the cages.

He was amazed to see that even Hamnpork was trembling. But he was trembling with rage.

“Let them out!” he shouted up to Keith. “Let them all out! Let them all out now! ”

“Another talking rat?” said Malicia.