GOMERE: feminine of GOMER.
HELP: organization in the House of God, comprised of Blue Blazers, summoned by dialing H?E?L?P; origin and function unknown.
Hospice: French word; home, asylum, poorhouse.
Hotel?Dieu: French word; literally 'House of God'; hospital.
House of God: hospital affiliated with the BMS; founded in 1913 by the American People of Israel when their medically qualified Sons and Daughters could not get good internships because of discrimination; competitor of MBH (See MBH).
House Staff: interns and residents of the House of God.
HTE Service: Hold The Elevator Service; allegedly promulgated by Grenade Room Dubler as an intern, to transport the allegedly murdered gomers down to the morgue.
Intercostal: between the ribs.
Intertrochanteric: between the protrusions of bone at the head of the upper legbone, the femur; often synonymous with fracture of the hip.
Intubated: with a rubber tube inserted through the mouth down into the trachea, by which to artificially respirate a patient.
IV: intravenous, inside a vein.
Lasix: a drug; diuretic often used to treat congestive heart failure.
LAWS OF THE HOUSE OF GOD: a series of rules, almost commandments, many formulated by the Fat Man.
Lay analyst: a psychoanalyst who is not an M.D.
Limbic: primitive part of the brain, thought to be a center of aggressive and sexual impulses; allegedly linked to cortex.
LOL in NAD: Little Old Lady in No Apparent Distress; not a GOMERE.
LP: Lumbar Puncture, the introduction of a needle into the spinal column to procure a sample of spinal fluid; also Low Profile, the intern technique of not being seen.
M and M: Morbidity and Mortality; a regularly scheduled conference of the medical hierarchy at which mistakes are aired; an opportunity for the higher?up Slurpers (See SLURPERS) to roast the lower?down.
MBH: Man's Best Hospital; a BMS?affiliated hospital founded by WASPs; competitor of the House of God.
MI: Myocardial infarction, heart attack.
MICU: Medical Intensive Care Unit.
Monilia: a species of yeast, causing infection, often with swelling of lymph nodes; common cause of vagitch.
MOR: Marriage On Rocks; frequent event during internship; cf. ROR.
Mt. St. E.: Mount Saint Elsewhere, generic term for any hospital not affiliated with the BMS; often used to denote small community hospital.
Multiple myeloma: one type of bone cancer; fatal.
***MVI***: Most Valuable Intern; allegedly the House Award given to the intern who is most valuable; alleged prize is a tiepin and a free trip for two to Atlantic City.
Narcolepsy: disease in which the main symptom is sleepiness; endemic to radiologists.
NIH: National Institute of Health; a step up the Slurper cone.
Nitro: nitroglycerin, tablet placed under the tongue to relieve the pain of angina pectoris.
NPC Specialty: No Patient Care Specialty in medicine, numbering, according to the Fat Man, six: RAYS, GAS, PATH, DERM, OPHTHALMOLOGY, PSYCHIATRY.
NSR: Normal sinus rhythm, the normal working of the heart, in which the heartbeat is initiated in the pacemaking cells in the sinus node.
Onanism: masturbation.
OPHTHALMOLOGY: surgical specialty dealing with eye; an NPC specialty.
ORTHO: Orthopedics, the surgical specialty dealing with bone.
Parotid: gland in jaw that produces saliva.
PATH: Pathology, an NPC Specialty.
Perineum: Genital region, especially that between the anus and scrotum or vulva.
Pishke: Yiddish word; tin box into which to place coins for charity.
Placement: process of finding a home for a gomer or gomere, especially, finding a nursing home; a possible TURF.
Primum non nocere: first of all, do no harm.
