Удушье (Choke)

She says, 'Is it that you have a girlfriend? Is that your reason?'

The reason why we didn't have sex in the chapel a few days ago. The reason why even with her naked and ready, I couldn't. The reason why I ran.

For a complete listing of other girlfriends, please refer to my fourth step.

See also: Nico.

See also: Leeza.

See also: Tanya.

Dr. Marshall tilts her pelvis at me and says, 'Do you know how most patients like your mother die?'

They starve. They forget how to swallow and breathe food and drink into their lungs by accident. Their lungs fill with rot­ting matter and liquid, they develop pneumonia, and they die.

I say, I know.

I say maybe there's worse things you can do than just letting somebody old die.

'This isn't just some old person,' Paige Marshall says. 'This is your mother.'

And she's almost seventy years old.

'She's sixty-two,' Paige says. 'If there's anything you can do to save her and you don't, you're killing her with neglect.'

'In other words,' I say, 'I should do you?'

'I've heard about your track record from some of the nurses,' Paige Marshall says. 'I know you have no issues around recre­ational sex. Or is it just me? Am I just not your type? Is that it?'

The two of us get quiet. A certified nurse's aide walks past, pushing a cart of bundled sheets and damp towels. Her shoes have rubber soles and the cart has rubber wheels. The floor is an­cient cork tile polished dark with traffic, so she goes by without a sound, just the stale trailing urine smell.

'Don't get me wrong,' I say. 'I want to fuck you. I really want to fuck you.'

Down the hall, the nurse's aide stops and looks back at us. She says, 'Hey Romeo, why don't you give poor Dr. Marshall a break?'

Paige says, 'It's fine, Miss Parks. This is between Mr. Mancini and myself.'

We both stare back until she smirks and pushes her cart off around the next corner. Her name's Irene, Irene Parks, and yeah, okay, we did it in her car in the parking lot about this time last year.

See also: Caren, RN.

See also: Jenine, CNA.

At the time, I thought each of them was going to be some­body special, but without their clothes, they could've been any­body. Now her ass is about as inviting as a pencil sharpener.

To Dr. Paige Marshall I say, 'There you are so wrong.' I say, 'I want to fuck you so bad I can taste it.' I say, 'And no, I don't want anybody to die, but I don't want my mom back the way she's always been.'

Paige Marshall exhales. She sucks her mouth into a tight little knot and just glares at me. She holds her clipboard to her chest with her arms crossed over it.

'So,' she says. 'This hasn't anything to do with sex. You just don't want your mother to recover. You just can't deal with strong women, and you think that if she dies, then your issue about her will also.'

From her room, my mom calls, 'Morty, what am I paying you for?'

Paige Marshall says, 'You can lie to my patients and complete their life conflicts, but don't lie to yourself.' Then she says, 'And don't lie to me.'