insurrectionists, I don't doubt we can stage a takeover. The question is: is this wing a worthwhile strategic goal in and of itself, or is my strong inclination to seize it singlehandedly— almost, excuse me— just what we call a macho complex these days? Not that I'm trying to draw us into psychobabble.' He glared at me, one eyebrow raised contemplatively.
'Depends on what kind of forces they have elsewhere.'
'Well, you're saying it's easier to make tactical decisions when one has more perfect information, a sort of strategic context from which to plan. That's a predictable attitude for a remote-sensing man. The aereal point of view comes naturally to a generalistic, left-handed type like you.' He nodded at my revolver, which I was holding, naturally, in my left hand. 'But lacking that background, we'll have to use a different method of attack— using 'attack' in a figurative sense now— and use the more linear way of thinking that would suggest itself to, say, a right-handed low-level Catholic civil engineer. Follow?'
'I suppose,' I shouted, looking down the elevator shaft at Tex's face, barely visible in the dim light.
'For example,' continued Krupp, 'our friends below, though we must be concerned for them, are irrelevant now. Presumably, the students on this wing will do the rational thing and not attack us, because to attack means coming into the halls and exposing themselves to our fire. So we control entry and exit. If we leave now, we'll just have to retake it later. Secondly, this lobby fire stair here ensures our safety; we can always escape. Third, our recent demonstration should delay a reinforcement action on their part. What I figure is that if we move along room by room disarming the occupants, they'll be too scared by what happened to that guy in the hall to try any funny stuff. Christ on fishhooks!' Krupp dove back into the safety of the lobby as a barrage of fire ripped down the hall, blowing with it the remains of the fire doors. We made for the stairway and began skittering down the steps as quickly as we could. By the time we had descended three flights, the angry shouts of Terrorists and SUBbies were pursuing us. The shouters themselves prudently remained on their own landing.
'We're okay unless they have something like a hand grenade or satchel charge they can drop down this central well,' said Krupp. 'Hold it right there, son! That's right! Keep those paws in the air! Say, I know you.'
We had surprised Casimir Radon on a landing. He merely stared at S. S. Krupp's AK-47, dumbfounded.
'Let's all hold onto our pants for a second and ask Casimir what he's up to,' Krupp suggested.
'Well,' said Casimir, taking off his glacier glasses to see us better in the dim stairwell. 'I was going to visit Sarah. Things are getting pretty wild now, you know. I guess you do know,' he concluded, looking again at the assault rifle.
'Physics problem:' said Krupp, 'how far does a hand grenade fall in the seven seconds between handle release and boom?' 'Well, air resistance makes that a toughie. It's pretty asymmetrical, and it would probably tumble, which makes the differential equation a son-of-a-bitch to solve. You'd have to use a numerical method, like'
'Estimate, son! Estimate!'
'Eight hundred feet.'
'No problem. But what if they counted to three? How far in four seconds?'
'Sixteen times four two hundred fifty-six feet.'
'If they count to five?'
'Two seconds sixty-four feet.'
'That's terrible. That's six stories. That would be about the sixth floor, which is where we make the run into the lobby. Do you think they'd be dumb enough to pull the pin and count to five?'
'Not with a Soviet grenade.'
'Good point.'
'If I'm not mistaken, sir,' said Casimir, 'they all have impact fuses on them anyway. So it'd go off on six in any case.'
'Oh. Well what the hell?' said Krupp, and started to run down the stairs again.
'Wait!' I said. Krupp stopped on the next landing. 'You don't want to go up there,' I told Casimir.
'Yeah. If you think it's wild down there, you should see thirteen. It's wilder than a cat on fire, thirteen. Those people are irrational,' said Krupp.
'Are you going to stop me by force?' asked Casimir.
'Well, anyone traveling with S. S. Krupp today is a prime target, so I couldn't justify that,' said Krupp.
'Then I'm going,' said Casimir, and resumed his climb. 'Let's get a move on. Let's build up a good head of steam here so we can charge right through the danger zone at the bottom. I think the twenty-third psalm is in order.'
Reluctantly, I left Casimir to his own dreams and we began to charge down the steps side by side, crossing paths at each turn, listening upward. I saw a 7 painted on the wall. We were practically diving down the last flight when I heard someone yell 'Five!' We were on the level now, sprinting for a door with a small rectangular window and a sign reading E TOWER MAIN LOBBY.
'Did he say five, or fire?' Krupp wondered as we neared the door. We punched it open together and were in the lobby. And there, waiting for us, were three Crotobaltislavonians with UZIs. 'Professionals, I see,' said Krupp. He had gone through on the hinged side of the door and now pushed it all the way around so that it was flat against the lobby wall, where he leaned against it. Back in the stairwell there was a series of metallic clanks, like something heavy bouncing off an iron pipe. Having seen many TV shows involving foreigners with submachine guns, I had already raised my hands; I now took the opportunity to clap them over my ears.
Krump. Bits of fire shot out the door at incredible speed. The three janitors just seemed to melt and soften, sagging to the floor quietly.
'It worked,' said Krupp, sounding drunken and amazed. Trying to walk around, I found that the concussion had scrambled my inner ear; stars shot around like tracer bullets. I went to a wall phone, dialed Lucy and Hyacinth's number, and listened to it ring. At each ring my head cleared a bit. They were not answering. Had the Terrorists taken twelve? I redialed; no answer. After eight rings I lost my mind, gripped the handset that had withstood untold vandalism attempts and jerked it out by its roots. I grabbed its shattered wires and swung it into the wall like a mace, ludicrously enraged, and began to stumble back toward the stairway.
'Hate to bust in, but we've got to stop porch-setting here,' shouted Krupp from the lobby entryway. He lay on the floor with the AK-47 pointed down the hall.
'What about these B-men?'
'They'll keep.'
'I'm not leaving. My friends are up on twelve. Hey, look. These men are in pain okay? I'm going to tell their friends upstairs they've got wounded down here.'
'Could do that,' said Krupp, 'but Casimir's in the stair well, If they come down this way, he'll be like a hoppity toad in a snake stampede.'
For the first time, we heard shouting and shooting from the main hallway which led to the Cafeteria. 'Don't look forward to fighting my way through whatever that sounds like,' said Krupp.
'Shit. Shit in a brown bag. Great fucking ghost of Rommel,' I said. 'That thing is a tank.' — Indeed, a small tank was approaching our location. We retreated.
For Fred Fine too it was a hell of a day. He was physically burned out to begin with. The Grand Army of Shekondar the Fearsome had stood at yellow alert for two days, and he had worked like an android the whole time, directing the stockpiling of supplies and material in the most secure regions of Plexor. Klystron may have been a haughty swordsman who reveled in single combat, but Chris the Systems Programmer was a master strategist who understood that, in a long war, food was power. The recent Mixture of Klystron and Chris was regrettable, but it did enable him to plan for the coming weeks with magical intuition and technological knowledge, a combination that proved extremely potent.
Finally Consuela and Chip Dixon had insisted that he sleep, and Klystron/Chris had okayed the rec. He slept from the close of our expedition until 1200 hours on April First, then rolled smartly out of the sack, called an aide for a quick briefing and proceeded to the mess hall for some grub and a few cups of joe. It was there, in the Cafeteria, just as he had predicted, that the war began.
Many things contributed to its success. The MegaUnion finally found the secret elevator used to smuggle scab workers into the Caf, resulting in fights between the Haitian and Vietnamese cooks and the professors and clerical workers who stood in their way. The outcome was predictable, and when the battered progressives returned to the main picket outside the Caf entrance, Yllas Freedperson exhorted them to hang tough, to further
