Tell No One

'Me neither.' Carlson turned his eyes back at me. 'Maybe you object to the form of the question, Doc. That it?'

'That's what they always do on The Practice, Nick,' Stone chimed in. 'Object to the form of the question.'

'That they do, Tom, that they do. And then they say, 'I'll rephrase', right? Something like that.'

'Something like that, yeah.'

Carlson looked me down. 'So let me rephrase: Does the name Sarah Goodhart mean anything to you?'

I didn't like this. I didn't like their attitude or the fact that they had taken over for Lowell or the way I was getting grilled in this conference room. They had to know what the name meant. It wasn't that difficult. All you had to do was casually glance at Elizabeth's name and address. I decided to tread gently.

'My wife's middle name is Sarah,' I said.

'My wife's middle name is Gertrude,' Carlson said.

'Christ, Nick, that's awful.'

'What's your wife's middle name, Tom?'

'McDowd. It's a family name.'

'I like when they do that. Use a family name as a middle name. Honor the ancestors like that.'

'Me too, Nick.'

Both men swung their gazes back in my direction.

'What's your middle name, Doc?'

'Craig,' I said.

'Craig,' Carlson repeated. 'Okay, so if I asked you if the name, say' -he waved his arms theatrically- 'Craig Dipwad meant anything to you, would you chirp up, 'Hey, my middle name is Craig'?'

Carlson flashed me the hard eyes again.

'I guess not,' I said.

'I guess not. So let's try it again: Have you heard the name Sarah Goodhart, yes or no?'

'You mean ever?'

Stone said, 'Jesus Christ.'

Carlson's face reddened. 'You playing semantic games with us now, Doc?'

He was right. I was being stupid. I was flying blind, and that last line of the email -Tell no one- kept flashing in my head like something in neon. Confusion took over. They had to know about Sarah Goodhart. This was all a test to see if I was going to cooperate or not. That was it. Maybe. And cooperate about what?

'My wife grew up on Goodhart Road,' I said. They both moved back a little, giving me room, folding their arms. They led me to a pool of silence and I foolishly dived in. 'See, that's why I said Sarah was my wife's middle name. The Goodhart made me think of her.'

'Because she grew up on Goodhart Road?' Carlson said.

'Yes.'

'Like the word Goodhart was a catalyst or something?'

'Yes,' I said again.

'That makes sense to me.' Carlson looked at his partner. 'That make sense to you, Tom?'

'Sure,' Stone agreed, patting his stomach. 'He wasn't being evasive or anything. The word Goodhart was a catalyst.'

'Right. That's what got him thinking about his wife.'

They both looked at me again. This time I forced myself to keep quiet.

'Did your wife ever use the name Sarah Goodhart?' Carlson asked.

'Use it how?'

'Did she ever say, 'Hi, I'm Sarah Goodhart,' or get an ID with that name or check into some hot-sheets under that name-'

'No,' I said.

'You sure?'

'Yes.'

'That the truth?'

'Yes.'

'Don't need another catalyst?'

I straightened up in the chair and decided to show some resolve. 'I don't much like your attitude, Agent Carlson.'

His toothy, dentist-proud smile returned, but it was like some cruel hybrid of its earlier form. He held up his hand and said, 'Excuse me, yeah, okay, that was rude.' He looked around as though thinking about what to say next. I waited.

'You ever beat up your wife, Doc?'

The question hit me like a whiplash. 'What?'

'That get you off? Smacking around a woman?'

'What… are you insane?'

'How much life insurance did you collect when your wife died?'

I froze. I looked at his face and then at Stone's. Totally opaque. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 'What's going on here?'

'Please just answer the question. Unless, of course, you got something you don't want to tell us.'

'It's no secret,' I said. 'The policy was for two hundred thousand dollars.'

Stone whistled. 'Two hundred grand for a dead wife. Hey, Nick, where do I get in line?'

'That's a lot of life insurance for a twenty-five year-old woman.'

'Her cousin was starting out with State Farm,' I said, my words stumbling over one another. The funny thing is, even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong – at least not what they thought – I started feeling guilty. It was a weird sensation. Sweat started pouring down my armpits. 'She wanted to help him out. So she bought this big policy.'

'Nice of her,' Carlson said.

'Real nice,' Stone added. 'Family is so important, don't you think?'

I said nothing. Carlson sat back down on the table's corner. The smile was gone again. 'Look at me, Doc.'

I did. His eyes bore into mine. I managed to maintain eye contact, but it was a struggle.

'Answer my question this time,' he said slowly. 'And don't give me shocked or insulted. Did you ever hit your wife?'

'Never,' I said.

'Not once?'

'Not once.'

'Ever push her?'

'Never.'

'Or lash out in anger. Hell, we've all been there, Doc. A quick slap. No real crime in that. Natural when it comes to the affairs of the heart, you know what I mean?'

'I never hit my wife,' I said. 'I never pushed her or slapped her or lashed out in anger. Never.'

Carlson looked over at Stone. 'That clear it up for you, Tom?'

'Sure, Nick. He says he never hit her, that's good enough for me.'

Carlson scratched his chin. 'Unless.'

'Unless what, Nick?'

'Well, unless I can provide Dr. Beck here with another one of those catalysts.'

All eyes were on me again. My own breaths echoed in my ears, hitched and uneven. I felt light-headed. Carlson waited a beat before he snatched up the large manila envelope. He took his time untying the string flap with long, slender fingers and then he opened the slit. He lifted it high in the air and let the contents fall to the table.

'How's this for a catalyst, huh, Doc?'

They were photographs. Carlson pushed them toward me. I looked down and felt the hole in my heart expand.

'Dr. Beck?'

I stared. My fingers reached out tentatively and touched the surface.

Elizabeth.

They were photographs of Elizabeth. The first one was a close up of her face. She was in profile, her right hand holding her hair back away from her ear. Her eye was purple and swollen. There was a deep cut and more bruising on her neck, below the ear.

It looked as though she'd been crying.

Another photo was shot from the waist up. Elizabeth stood wearing only a bra, and she was pointing to a large discoloration on her rib cage. Her eyes still had that red-tinged rim. The lighting was strangely harsh, as though the flash itself had sought out the bruise and pulled it closer to the lens.

There were three more photographs – all from various angles and of various body parts. All of them highlighted more cuts and bruises.

'Dr. Beck?'

My eyes jerked up. I was almost startled to see them in the room. Their expressions were neutral, patient. I faced Carlson, then Stone, then I went back to Carlson.

'You think I did this?'

Carlson shrugged. 'You tell us.'