Finding Forgiveness

you two aren’t mated. From what I understand you’ve denied the mating several times already.”

“My father was an alcoholic. A rotten one. I thought…” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. I should have known.”

“You should have asked.” Rick sat behind the desk, the fury gone from his face, replaced by concern. Rick was one of the few who knew about Ben’s childhood. One of Rick’s first official acts as Alpha had been to Outcast Walter Malone.

Ben could already feel the soothing balm of Rick’s acceptance, knew the Alpha had begun to forgive him. The way Belle was studying him, he knew he’d have more explaining to do to the Luna and the rest of the Pack leaders. How would he explain to them about the hell his father had put him through? There were few scars on his skin, but there were more than enough scars on his soul.

“We’ve been doing what we can to keep Dave healthy, but you need to stop pushing him.”

“Yeah. I get that.” He scrubbed the back of his head before sitting up. “What’s his treatment going to be? How do we get this under control other than diet and stress reduction?”

The doc shook his head. “I can’t share that with you.”

“Because he told you not to?”

“Because you’re not his mate, so doctor-patient privilege applies.”

Ben took a deep breath and leashed the growling wolf within. “I’ll be rectifying that situation as soon as possible.”

“No. You won’t.” Rick leaned forward. “The doc said no stress, so I’m telling you. You will not stress out my Beta any more than you already have. I find out you’ve pushed anything on him or forced him into something, and I swear to God I will Outcast you so fast you’ll bounce down the mountain.”

Ben swallowed hard. Each and every person in the room blamed him for what was happening to Dave. Including himself. “The headaches started when he was fifteen. Why has it taken so long to figure out what’s wrong with him?”

Rick leaned back with a sigh. “You remember how much of an isolationist my grandfather was.” Rick’s grandfather, the old Alpha, had been unwilling to even discuss going outside the Pack for anything. Maybe if Rick’s father had lived it would have been different. Rumor had it Roger Lowell could talk his father into just about anything. But Roger and his mate had died in a car accident while Rick was still a baby, and Rick’s grandfather had completely closed the Pack off from the outside world. “He thought simply shifting back and forth would solve Dave’s problems. No way he’d let Dave go see a doctor no matter how much Dave’s folks pleaded with him. Hell, I got punished more than once for trying to get the old man to relent. He was convinced channeling his wolf would fix everything that was wrong with Dave.”

It hadn’t. The headaches had grown worse over the years. That was one of the reasons Ben had been so certain they were hangovers. That and the fact that he’d caught the man drunk on a few occasions. Thinking back he realized he could count on the fingers of one hand the times Dave must have truly been drunk. Could those strange, floaty times when Dave’s head pounded and he seemed so disconnected have been associated with the migraines?

“Now that we have access to a doctor we’re finding out more and more about what’s wrong with him. It never occurred to me to take the man’s hot dogs away.” Rick winced, because Dave did love his hot dogs. Come summertime you could find him with one in his hand and a can of soda in the other, laughing and having a good time.

Despite everything Ben had done to shove Dave away the other Wolf had remained a decent human being, playful and fun-loving. He’d caught Dave’s wistful looks, the longing there plain to see, but he’d turned away from it over and over again.

No more. Dave was his mate, and he was hurting, and it was past time for Ben to do something about it.

“That’s all I can tell you without permission.” Jamie shrugged. “Until the two of you resolve your mating issues, there’s nothing more I can do.”

“And I’m telling you to stay the fuck away from him until the migraines are under control. Got it?” Rick glared at Ben again. “In fact, I’m thinking I might send you into New York for a few days. The Coyotes want to negotiate a pass-through treaty and I’m inclined to send you and Chela to deal with it.”

A pass-through treaty would grant each Pack the right to enter the other’s territory without the need to stop and make nice. It would mean more Coyotes spending time at the lodge, even becoming regular customers if it worked out. It also meant that Ben would more than likely be gone until after Dave came home and had a chance to settle in. It would also give everyone’s temper a chance to settle down.

As plans went, it wasn’t a bad one. The urge to go to his mate’s side despite the doctor’s warnings and Rick’s threats was damn near overwhelming. Having the time to come up with a way to make things up to his mate would be appreciated, and knowing he was earning back his Alpha’s approval would calm his wolf. “I’ll go.” He stood, his hands shaking. “But you have to promise me that all bets are off if Dave is in any danger.”

“Ben—”

“No.” He glared at his Alpha, who snarled back. “If it was Belle, what would you do?”

“I did what was right.”

Ben’s jaw clenched. Rick had done what he’d thought was right, leaving his wounded Luna in Halle despite the fact that the mating hadn’t been completed. Belle had needed her own doctors and the hospital in Halle to heal the damage she’d received defending a Pridemate from a stalker. Now that the Halle Pride leaders had agreed to allow the Pack to use their facilities, Rick could allow his Packmates to go back and forth to see one of the few shifter doctors in the area. Hell, with the coming treaties with the New York Coyote Pack, odds were they’d have access to more and better facilities than even Halle had. Ben bet the Halle Pride would have their own representatives talking to the Coyotes. Cats might be lazy by nature, but Max Cannon, the Pride’s Alpha, wasn’t one to let grass grow under his feet.

Ben eyed Belle. “Will Max have anyone at these talks?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. He doesn’t inform me of his plans.” She smirked. “But he does know to keep your ass away from Dave.”

Of course he did. Belle and the Halle Puma Curana, Emma, were friends. Ben resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I give you my word, I will not approach Dave until he’s returned from the hospital. I won’t give you any promises beyond that.”

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Ben.”

“No. It’s the best we can hope for.” Rick’s hand slid across Belle’s hip. “It was what I could promise you, after all.”

She shook her head, but Ben knew the memory of her mate’s claiming had soothed her. Rick had marked her within an hour of her arrival at the Red Wolf Lodge, making her both Pride and Pack. He’d then handed her Lowell’s Restaurant, the Lodge’s steak house, to manage, fulfilling her dreams of owning and operating her own restaurant.

“Ben? Go pack. You’re out of here as of tomorrow morning. You too, Chela. And don’t fuck this up. It could mean big things for both the Lodge and the Pack. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Sure thing, boss.” Ben sighed and left the room. He debated going back to his office, but fuck it. He was taking the rest of the day off to pack and plan. Watching his Alpha with his Luna never failed to cause him pain and pride. Pride, because Belle really was the best Luna, despite her feline handicap, the Pack had ever had. Pain, because he didn’t think he could have that kind of closeness with his own goofy mate. The man was a perfect foil for Rick’s stern Alpha persona. People spoke to the Beta in a way they did not with the Alpha, more comfortable with Dave’s easy-going ways and hidden strength. Everyone revered the Alpha pair, but they all adored Dave.

Even him.

He remembered one of the few times he’d allowed his guard down around the Beta. They’d been bringing Belle home to Rick, her wounded hip still bothering her from what he could tell. She’d been in therapy for months before the Pride doctors had released her for what she called Lunatic duty.

He snorted, amused, and threw on his lightweight suede jacket. He could still hear the sound of Dave’s