“This is… good news. Interesting good news.”
“They’ll be expecting you at Linden by first light,” Jamie went on, “and they’ll have remounts waiting for you. The baroness said you’re to break your fast with her, regardless of the hour, and I’d not vex the lady by ignoring her, were I you.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Beck’s mind struggled to keep up with the conversation, even as Polly set a stack of griddle cakes with butter and honey before him.
“Eat,” she said. “You don’t want to, but you need to.”
Her unwitting quote of North had Beck smiling distractedly, and he did as she ordered, not because he wanted to or needed to, but because refusing her efforts would hurt her feelings.
North came in from the laundry, a tightly wrapped bundle in his hands. “Your clothes. Polly, be a love and pack the man a couple of flasks, brandy in one, sweetened tea in the other. He’ll need some comestibles he can eat in the saddle too.”
Polly moved off without a word, but Beck had to wonder what she was thinking.
Did she know who Tremaine was? Was he Polly’s dear Tremaine too? A cousin? An uncle? If the ladies had a relative who could offer them aid—and the relative had declined to do so—Beck was going to…
He wasn’t going to do anything except… except finish his meal and go to his father’s funeral.
North came in from the back hallway just as Beck was taking his empty plate to the sink.
“Horses are ready,” North said, “and you’re as ready as you’ll ever be.”
“Amen to that.” Beck’s eyes went to the stairway, and as if he’d conjured her, Sara appeared, her slipper boots first, followed by the green hem of the velvet dressing gown Beck had given her earlier in the evening.
“Beckman?” Sara’s expression was sleepy and curious, and her hair—her glorious, unbelievably lovely hair— spilled down her back in cascades of fiery beauty.
“I’m off to Belle Maison,” Beck said, holding out a hand to her. Unmindful of Polly and North disappearing to the back porch, he wrapped his arms around her.
“Your father?”
“Gone.” Beck closed his eyes and thanked God for this chance to hold her before he left. She didn’t say anything but held him to her, her arms around him, her face pressed to his collarbone. The great hard knot of loss in his throat eased another fraction. “I wish…” He stopped and swallowed, then soldiered on. “I wish you could come with me.”
Sara leaned back to brush his hair with her fingers. “I wish I could spare you this, go in your place and spare you the loss of your father. And I will remind you to not take chances as you travel, Beckman. One funeral at a time is more than enough.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He kissed her cheek, touched by her warning and fortified as well. “Do something for me?”
She nodded, holding his gaze when he would have given anything to hear the words “Must you go?” from her even once.
“Sleep in my bed tonight?”
Another nod, accompanied by a blush. He was relieved he didn’t need to explain or bargain or suffer her refusal.
“I’ll be off, then.”
Before he could turn to go, Sara caught his arm and looped it over her shoulders. “I’ll walk you to your horse.”
“Horses. I’ll lead one, ride the other, and make better time. Linden will provide fresh horses, and I should make the funeral at Belle Maison by Friday.”
“Your half-crazy brother might be completely crazy by then.”
“To say nothing of my sisters.” And Ethan—God above, at least Ethan had been with the earl at his death. That had to count for something.
Beck grabbed his coat, and they reached the back porch. Seeing North patting Soldier over at the mounting block did something to Beck’s insides. The hastily consumed meal threatened to rebel, but just when the question became pressing, Sara slipped her hand into Beck’s.
She squeezed his fingers. “I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.”
“And you will be in mine,” Beck replied, relieved to have some sentiment from her suggesting… what?
That they meant something to each other. Something that would transcend distance and parting. Because this was parting. He’d never represented that it could be anything else, except when he had offered her the entire rest of his life and all his worldly goods.
“Safe journey.” Sara hugged him again, kissed his cheek, and settled back, wrapping her dressing gown around her.
“Godspeed,” North echoed, stepping back to let him climb aboard Ulysses. “If you lose the moonlight, don’t be stupid. Put up until dawn, which will be along soon enough.”
“Yes, Gabriel.” Beck swung up onto his horse and accepted Soldier’s reins from North. He saluted with his crop, blew Sara a kiss, and trotted off into the night.
North watched as Polly sent a pitying look at her sister then turned to get back to the house where she’d, no doubt, be making use of her handkerchief where North had no opportunity to comfort her.
When Sara started to cry, North wrapped his arms around her, tucked his worn handkerchief into her hand, and fashioned a lengthy list of curses that included full moons, elderly earls, stubborn lordlings, and even more stubborn housekeepers.
“His penmanship is exemplary, and he says the funeral was lovely.” North frowned at Beck’s note. “How can a funeral be lovely, of all the perishing nonsense? His brother’s wife is lovely, his sisters are lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Here.” He thrust the note at Polly, who passed it to Sara. “I have work to do, and you lovely ladies can decipher this. If I’m not back by midday you may assume the piskies have stolen lovely me for their own.”
“Mind you don’t miss the meal,” Polly called as he stalked from the kitchen to the back hallway. She sipped her tea—Sara had flavored this batch with bergamot—while Sara read the note. Gabriel needed to be alone—never had God fashioned a man more suited to being alone—and Sara needed company.
Sara scanned the note and sat back. “It’s as North indicates. Pleasantries and platitudes, but at least Beckman writes those.”
“To North, he can’t really write much else. It hasn’t been a week, Sara. He may write more when the edge of his grief has dulled.”
“I know.” She managed to put a world of loss into two words, though Polly heard the hope Sara would never admit, too. “I wrote to Tremaine.”
“You don’t know what I wrote.”
“You’re overset,” Polly said gently. “The man you care for has gone to bury his father, likely never to return, and you’re worried for him. You’re also worried for us, and Beckman isn’t here for you to confide in.”
“I wouldn’t do that, Polly.” Sara picked up her teacup, holding it under her nose as if she were sniffing the rising steam. “If Beckman knew what lay in our past, he’d have no choice but to take himself off to his titled life and put as much distance between us as he could. His father dying when he did was a mercy.”
“He was the spare in truth a week ago,” Polly said. “The heir has finally married, and so Beck’s only presumptive now. I truly don’t believe it matters to him, in any case, or he would have married by now.”
“He did.” Sara’s misery was audible. “And she died, and I’m sure he loved her.”
This was news, and likely some of the explanation for how distracted and distant Sara had been since coming back from Portsmouth. “She didn’t die recently.”
Sara shook her head. “Years ago, and he hasn’t remarried or settled down. I believe he’s still attached to her memory.”
“He’s talked about his dead wife with
“I asked. He answered only the questions I put to him, but in what he didn’t say, I can tell he has feelings for her still.”
Polly topped up Sara’s tea when what she wanted was to rail against the lunacy of the male gender
