When Leslie’s face lost all expression and she hastily glanced away, Dev knew
she had no good reason to put off sitting down to dinner with the Harrises. Until
now she’d avoided them because she didn’t want the subject of Leslie and their
shared past to come up. She hadn’t wanted to be reminded, and she hadn’t
wanted to talk about it.
But the past was standing right in front of her, and she couldn’t have stopped
thinking about Leslie now if she got into her truck and drove a thousand miles
away. What she needed was to understand that this
• 46 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
woman was not the girl she remembered, and whatever friendship they’d shared
had ended the night when everything in her life had changed. Maybe a casual
dinner where it would be apparent they had nothing in common any longer
would do the trick.
“Sorry,” Dev said.
“For what?” Leslie said, shifting her eyes away from the boathouse and back to
Dev.
“For bringing up old history. I’m just surprised to see you.”
“I won’t be staying long,” Leslie said abruptly, feeling inexplicably
claustrophobic. She was standing outside in the June afternoon sun, looking out
over a vista of forest and clear blue water that was still unspoiled by the
trappings of modern life. She couldn’t imagine a place where she might feel
more free, but instead she found herself trapped in memories she had no desire
to relive. “There’s no need for you to move out of your cabin. We’re not likely
to see each other. I’ll be working most of the time, and I imagine you’ll be off
doing whatever you do.”
Dr. Weber , her mother had said. Leslie could barely believe that this woman
was the angry, often sullen, teenager she remembered. Dev had never studied in
school, and her grades had shown it. Even though Dev had almost failed her
junior year, Leslie always knew she was smart. She could tell from the things
they talked about. Dev seemed to know something about almost everything, but
she never cared about doing well in school or whether other people approved of
her. That was one of the things Leslie always loved…
“I’ll stay in the lodge,” Leslie said.
“You ought to be able to stay wherever you want while you’re here,” Dev
pointed out reasonably. “It’s your home, after all.”
“No it isn’t.” Leslie shouldered her briefcase and started to add that she didn’t
care where she slept when she felt the ? uttering sensation well up in her chest.
The surge of panic that followed only made her heart pound faster. With a gasp,
she dropped her luggage and sat down quickly in the nearest porch chair.
“Les, are you okay?” Dev took the ? nal two stairs to the porch in one long
stride. Leslie was very pale, but even more disconcerting, she looked frightened.
Dev knelt by her side. “Les?”
“Fine,” Leslie said with a wave of her hand. She felt just a little bit breathless,
but the ? uttering sensation was already starting to subside. “Hot. I should have
had something to drink on the train besides coffee.”
• 47 •
RADCLY fFE
“I’ll get you something to drink from inside.” Dev started to rise when Leslie
caught her arm.
“No, don’t. My mother…”
“I won’t tell her.” Dev, stiff with shock, stared at Leslie’s ? ngers wrapped
around her wrist. It was odd, they were exactly as she remembered them,
incredibly soft and strong at the same time. Satin over steel. Her body
remembered every place that Leslie had ever touched, even casually, and she
shuddered at the explosion of sensation.
Gently, she drew her arm away. “I’ll tell your mother it’s for me. Pepsi, not
Coke, right?”
Leslie bit the inside of her lip. Two years together, and Rachel could never
remember that, but somehow, Dev had, even after all this time. She felt
dangerously close to tears, and barely recognized herself. Of course, she’d
hardly slept in two nights and what little rest she’d managed had been uneasy.
Part of her kept expecting to wake up breathless with that terrible pressure in
her chest. She nodded, because she needed a minute to settle herself and she
didn’t want to have Dev see her so shaken. Dev always could see too much.
“Thanks. Yes, Pepsi would be great.”
“No problem.” Dev put her hands in her pockets because she had the
overwhelming desire to touch Leslie on her shoulder, or her hair.
Somewhere, just to reassure her, or maybe herself, that everything was all right.
For a second, she’d thought that Leslie was going to faint, and she still didn’t
look quite right. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
Relieved to be alone, Leslie rested her head against the back of the white
wicker rocker and closed her eyes. She pressed her index ? nger over the pulse
in her wrist. It seemed fast, but steady. She could breathe again. It was hot for
June. And, she had to admit, seeing Dev had thrown her. She’d known that
coming home was going to be dif? cult to begin with, and now she couldn’t
remember why she’d ever thought it was a good idea at all.
Since she’d changed her mind about doing something environmentally related as
a career and gone into law instead, her relationship with her parents, especially
her mother, had been awkward.
Her parents were one step up from hippies—well, old hippies now—but she
could remember riding on her father’s shoulders during equal rights marches and
carrying signs at supermarkets to protest the treatment of migrant farm workers.
As a child she used to play on the rug in front
• 48 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
of the huge stone ? replace, listening to her parents and their friends debate
everything from abortion rights to global warming. Her parents still grew their
own organic vegetables, and the only boats that put out from the boathouse at
Lakeview other than the outboard her father used to ferry campers to the islands
were sailboats or other non-motorized craft.
She was a disappointment to them, and she knew it.
“Here you go,” Dev said, squatting down again beside Leslie and handing her a
sweating glass of soda. “No ice and a straw.”
Dev didn’t say just the way you like it, but Leslie heard the words all the
same. She took the glass and managed to smile, although she wasn’t certain she
could take any more kindness. “Thanks.”
“How are you feeling?”
Leslie sipped the Pepsi, giving herself a few extra seconds to chase away the
