crossword puzzle.
“Yes.” Leslie paused a beat. “She’s coming up for the Fourth.
She’ll be staying overnight.”
Eileen looked up. “We don’t have any vacancies, but we can bring a day bed
down to your cabin.”
Leslie blushed, thinking of the not-quite-double bed in the small bedroom. “We
won’t need one.”
“Oh,” Eileen said with studied casualness. She crossed to the counter and
poured coffee, then returned. “Rachel. That’s her name, isn’t it?”
• 177 •
RADCLY fFE
“Yes, Rachel Hawthorne.”
“And she’s your….I’m sorry. Is girlfriend correct?”
“We’re involved,” Leslie said. “She’s an attorney.”
“At your ? rm?”
Leslie appreciated her mother’s effort, but she didn’t want to talk about Rachel
or their life. Still, she answered impassively, “No. Another ? rm. She does
malpractice litigation.”
“I’m sure it’s not easy going up against the medical establishment.”
“Most of Rachel’s work is defending hospitals and pharmaceutical companies.”
Seeing her mother’s ? eeting expression of displeasure, quickly hidden, Leslie
said bitterly, “I guess neither one of us is on the side of the angels.”
Eileen sighed. “I know some of the things I said when you decided to practice
corporate law made it sound as if I don’t approve of what you do—”
“Isn’t that the truth?” Leslie snapped, her nerves uncharacteristically raw. God,
why did they have to get into this again tonight, when everything else in her life
was so out of control?
“I suppose I’d be happier if you were working for the ACLU or something—”
Leslie snorted and Eileen laughed quietly. “All right, never mind that. I think it’s
probably better that someone like you is doing what you do, rather than
someone with no social conscience at all. And I’ve always trusted your
judgment.”
“My judgment is the last thing you should trust.” Leslie was too tired and too
heartsick to regret what she said, although she knew she would later.
Startled, Eileen leaned forward on the counter and gently touched Leslie’s hand.
“Why do you say that? What’s wrong?”
Leslie shook her head and rubbed her hand over her forehead, closing her eyes
against the headache that had sprung up out of nowhere.
“Nothing. It’s not important.”
“Of course it’s important. I’ve had a long time to think about what happened
between us, Leslie,” Eileen said intently. “Something happened when you went
away to college. You shut down. Or shut me out. And I let you.”
“Mom,” Leslie said, “it’s not—”
“Is it Dev?”
• 178 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
Shocked, Leslie could only stare. Finally she found her voice.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because if I didn’t know about Rachel, I’d think you and Dev were lovers.”
Leslie’s jaw dropped. “Why?”
Eileen laughed and lifted her hands as if it were obvious. “Because of the way
you are together.”
“We aren’t any way at all together,” Leslie said vehemently. “Of course we’re
not lovers! I haven’t even seen Devon since two days before I left for college.”
Eileen’s eyes narrowed. “Why not? Why did you lose touch?”
“Because!” Leslie spun away and closed her eyes, appalled to feel tears slip
from between her lashes. Her legs shook, and she reached blindly for a nearby
stool. She slumped onto it and took several long deep breaths, centering herself,
reclaiming her control. Then she brushed quickly at her face and turned back to
face her mother. She spoke with no emotion, reciting facts. “I knew Dev in high
school. I was a year ahead of her, and I went away to school and that was the
last time I saw her.”
“I knew that part, Leslie. What I don’t know is the part you still don’t want to
tell me.”
Leslie tugged at her lower lip with her teeth, biting down until the pain helped her
focus. She could hold back her tears, but she couldn’t hold back the truth
anymore. “Mike found us kissing and he beat her up. He hurt her, and I let him.”
“Oh my God. Leslie.”
Leslie put her face in her hands and bowed her head. “I let him.
God. I let him.” She raised her head, her eyes ? lled with misery. “Then Dev
had the accident on her bike and I went off to college and pretended it never
happened.”
“I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry you had to go through all that by yourself.”
Eileen rose and gave Leslie a quick hug. Then she rested her cheek against
Leslie’s hair, keeping her arm very lightly on Leslie’s shoulders. “I’d like to
murder Mike. I’m so sorry you and Dev were hurt.”
“Dev was hurt. I just ran.”
Eileen kissed the top of her head, then asked gently, “So you two were
girlfriends, back then?”
• 179 •
RADCLY fFE
“No,” Leslie said with a sigh. “Well, we were but we didn’t realize what was
happening between us until that night. And then I kind of freaked out, and it
took me years to ? gure it all out.”
Eileen tilted Leslie’s chin up and studied her face. “What about now that you
and Dev are friends again?”
“I’m with Rachel. We’ve been seeing each other almost two years.”
“Do you two live together in Manhattan?” Eileen settled back on her stool.
“No.” Leslie shook her head, relieved not to be talking about Dev or the past
anymore. “We both have our own condos. Our schedules are so crazy, we
don’t see each other that much anyhow, so there’s really no point in living
together.”
“Well, making a life together isn’t always about how much time you spend in the
same place.”
“We’re not that kind of couple.” Leslie frowned, realizing how that sounded,
even though it was true. “We both have our own lives, Mom. We respect each
other’s work. We enjoy each other. Things are ? ne just the way they are.”
“I see,” Eileen said gently. “Well, it will be nice to meet her.”
“Thanks,” Leslie said, aware just how inadequate her summary of her
