between her legs.
Leslie whimpered, her tongue probing, her ? ngers digging into Dev’s shoulders.
Feeling Leslie tense, her pelvis thrusting against Dev’s hand, Dev slid inside her.
She stayed motionless, buried deep within, letting Leslie set the pace. As Leslie
came, she jerked her head away, ? nally breaking the kiss and releasing a long,
thin cry of pleasure.
“Oh God,” Leslie ? nally gasped. “That’s it. You’re cut off until I have food.”
She nuzzled Dev’s neck drowsily. “We didn’t have dinner, remember?”
“So you’re going to stand me up for food?” Dev grinned, kissed Leslie lightly on
the tip of the nose, and jumped from bed.
“Where are you going?” Leslie sat up, pulling the sheets up to her waist. “Dev?”
Dev rummaged in the desk and returned with a leather folder in her hand. She
pulled the phone closer to the bed as she climbed back in next to Leslie. “Room
service.”
“Sweetheart, it’s four thirty in the morning.”
“So?” Dev found the menu and ? ipped to the all-night section.
“We’re in New York City. The kitchens never close.” She studied the page as
Leslie curled up in her lap. “How about burgers and champagne?
Will that do?”
“Dev,” Leslie said quietly.
“Hmm?” Dev curled one arm around Leslie’s shoulders and propped the menu
on her raised knee. “And maybe some chocolate cake.”
“Do you think it’s possible for us never to leave this room?”
Dev laughed. “I can probably stay another night. I’ll call in the morning about…”
She trailed off and closed the menu. Her face lost all expression. “When do you
have to leave?”
“I’ve got appointments scheduled midmorning,” Leslie said. Her heart beat
wildly, not from passion, but from fear. It had only been a few hours, a few
hours of unexpected and indescribable happiness, and now she felt it slipping
away. “I’m going to have to go in sometime today. Tomorrow. God, whenever
it is. I’ll call ? rst thing and try to rearrange some of my meetings.”
“Leslie,” Dev said with a sigh. “You shouldn’t do that.”
Dev leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. The heavy drapes were still
closed, the bedside lamp turned down low. It was almost dawn, but it felt as if
they were cocooned in a time capsule, and if they just stayed there, kept the
door closed and the rest of the world outside,
they could keep this precious connection safe. She knew it wasn’t true.
As much as her heart wanted to believe, she knew they couldn’t hide from who
they were or how vastly different their lives were. “We’ve got a few more hours.
Let’s just make the most of them.”
Leslie sat up and swiveled on the bed until she faced Dev. “And that’s it? You
go back to Lake George and we write this off as a one-nighter that’s just ?
fteen years overdue?”
“Hey,” Dev said gently, cupping Leslie’s cheek. “You know that’s not what this
is.”
“No, Dev, I don’t.” Leslie shook her head. “I don’t know what this is. I didn’t
expect to be here tonight. All I know is I had to see you because I couldn’t stop
thinking about you for the last four weeks.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I was seventeen years old, Les.”
Leslie ? inched, but she kept her voice steady. “All right. I deserved that.”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Dev pushed a hand through her hair.
“Jesus, this isn’t coming out right.” She took Leslie’s hand and rubbed her
cheek against the back of Leslie’s ? ngers. “I haven’t wanted to care about
anyone since the night I drove away from your house on my bike. I’ve been
empty inside all this time. Except for how much I hurt missing you.”
“Oh, God, Dev.”
“It’s okay.” Dev grinned crookedly. “Well, after tonight, it’s a hell of a lot better
than it ever was. I’ve never felt anything like tonight.
When we were kids and I was kissing you and Mike found us, I felt like I did
tonight. Like you were all I needed to be whole. You were everything I needed,
and then I lost you.”
Tears streaked down Leslie’s cheeks and Dev brushed them gently away.
“When we made love tonight,” Dev said, her throat so tight she could hardly get
the words out, “I felt that way again. You ? ll me up, you heal everything that
ever hurt.” Dev bowed her head over Leslie’s hand, closing her eyes. “Tonight
was worth any amount of pain, but I can’t keep living day after day wanting
you.” She raised her eyes, unable to hide the agony of loss she knew was
coming. “I’ll never regret tonight, but I have to accept it was just one perfect
night that ends in the morning, or I’m not going to make it. I can’t keep living
while I’m dying for you.”
Leslie’s hands were shaking as she caressed her ? ngers through Dev’s hair,
then cradled her face. She leaned close and kissed her. “For a long time, I tried
to pretend that you and I were just really, really good friends. The best of
friends.” She laughed, the sound ending in a sob.
“And oh God, we were, weren’t we? Friends and so much more. I was so
crazy in love with you back then.”
“Yeah.” Dev caressed Leslie’s arm. “Yeah, me too.”
“And after that horrible night with Mike, I couldn’t face my own cowardice and
I tried to hide it all away by pretending I didn’t feel what I felt for you. And
when I ? nally did admit I was a lesbian, I still wouldn’t let anyone be important
to me. Not the way you were.”
“Rachel?”
Leslie shook her head. “I cared about her. But I didn’t need her and I didn’t
want her to need me. There were a few others, always the same. I kept
everyone a safe distance away.”
“When I saw you at the train station, it was like those ? fteen years didn’t exist,”
Dev said. “When I kiss you, when we make love, I can almost believe it, almost.
But I know it’s not true. You have your life.
We both do. Different lives.”
“I just found you,” Leslie whispered. “I’m not going to lose you again. I love
you.”
Dev swallowed hard, trying to hold everything inside, but she just couldn’t. Her
body, her soul, her heart were too open after hours of loving Leslie. She’d let
her inside the places no one had ever touched before, and now she was
defenseless. She pulled Leslie close and buried her face against Leslie’s neck,
her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.
