John forced himself not to burst out with angry words. He took a step closer to Felix, who showed no inclination to rise or look him in the eye.
“Oh, that, you say. What were your men doing rummaging through her room if you aren’t nosing around looking into Theodora’s death?”
“A scrap of parchment naming the girl was delivered to the City Prefect, and he notified me as head of the palace guard,” Felix replied.
“Is that true?”
“Of course it’s true. Why would I lie to you?”
“What exactly did this note say?”
“Exactly? I couldn’t tell you, but I gather it was to the effect someone might like to search Vesta’s room since they might find something of interest there in connection with Theodora’s murder.”
“How was this note delivered?”
“By a grubby little street urchin. He handed it over and ran away. As well he might.”
“Untraceable then, and surely not written by the boy himself. Do you know any other details?”
“None. Except the note turned out to be accurate.”
“You didn’t inform me poisonous herbs were found in the room, even though you know I’m responsible for tracking down Theodora’s murder.”
“I would have as soon as I could, John.”
“I’m glad to hear it, my friend. Since you know Justinian has a noose around my neck while I’m engaged on this mad mission of his, I’m grateful you intended to get around to telling me sooner or later, perhaps even before the emperor decided to open the trapdoor under my feet.”
John’s words were grating, loud. Even as they emerged, he realized they were not the way he would normally have expressed himself, but the tension during the days he had been on this fool’s errand was emerging. And then there were worries about Peter’s illness and what was happening with Cornelia and Europa.
He would have expected Felix to leap combatively to his feet, but the burly captain continued to sit wearily on the edge of the basin. John wondered if he had been drinking, but his speech gave no sign of it. He, like John, seemed disordered by inner anxiety.
“John, I’m fully aware of your impossible assignment. I fear Justinian may have imposed a lingering death sentence on you.”
“Because I will not be able to find someone who doesn’t exist? Yet, evidence against Vesta has been found in her room. The emperor seemed ready to believe she was the culprit.”
“Why not allow him to continue to think it?”
“You know I couldn’t do that, Felix. Let a young girl be tortured, most likely to death?”
“Is her life more valuable than yours?” Felix ran his fingers through his beard, tugged nervously at the neck of his tunic. “You are a man of principle, John. Do you owe your loyalty to a man who has betrayed it?”
“I don’t know Justinian means to betray my loyalty. From your behavior I would be more inclined to doubt your loyalty to me.”
“You’ve expressed your own concerns about this impossible investigation,” Felix pointed out.
“Perhaps I am being unfair to Justinian. Why would he turn against me?”
Felix continued to stare past John, into the shadows on the far side of the atrium. “Because you’re a pagan,” he said quietly.
“Because I am a Mithran? Like yourself, like many others at court? You know the emperor winks at pagans and heretics so long as they are useful to him.”
“He’s had pagans executed.” Felix’s thick fingers fumbled at the rumpled neck of his tunic, as if he were trying to extricate something tangled in the loose fabric. Perhaps that was what he intended John to think, to make it seem as if the fine gold chain was dislodged accidentally, falling into view against his white garment, and revealing the cross attached to it.
“Is that why you haven’t been seen in the mithraeum lately?” John asked.
Felix stuffed the chain back inside his clothing. “It was given to me for a talisman.”
“It is the symbol of the Christians’ god.”
“Yes, and it’s a very useful talisman. The world is changing, John. We know demons are everywhere, whether we see them or not.”
“You have become a Christian, haven’t you?”
Felix shook his head. “No. No. But I’ve thought about it.”
“Because the world is changing? Do you think the gods come and go with the ages like mortals do?”
“It isn’t that…”
“You still aspire to a generalship. In today’s empire Christians fare better. Is that it? General Belisarius would never have allowed you to get anywhere after that dalliance with Antonina, so-”
“There was no dalliance. She led me on. That was years ago.”
“Nevertheless Belisarius hated you, and since you were my friend, Theodora had no use for you either. But now Theodora is gone, she cannot thwart you or Germanus. You think Germanus will supplant Belisarius, and Germanus will be more likely to listen to your entreaties if he thinks you are a Christian. That’s it, isn’t it?”
“It is a Christian empire, John.”
“But as captain of the excubitors you enjoy a higher prestige than most generals.”
“You know I have always wanted to command an army on the field of battle.”
“Still, at your age…are you certain you do not seek higher honors yet?”
“Now you are speaking like a fool, my friend. Yes, I have been thinking about converting. I have been encouraged to think about it. For now, though, the cross is a good luck charm given to me by a friend.”
John suddenly remembered his conversation with Isis who now, just as incongruously as Felix was contemplating, claimed to have converted to Christianity. Could she have given Felix the cross? Or had it been a favorite whore turned penitent turned lady-in-waiting?
“Kuria,” John muttered. In the shadowy room he could not make out the reaction, if any, on Felix’s lowered face. “Isis thought it was you who kept visiting the girl before she became Theodora’s lady-in-waiting. Have you been seeing her again? Isis’ girls were required to adopt religious practices when the establishment became a refuge. Theodora wouldn’t have taken Kuria into the palace unless the girl at least made a pretense of being devout. Did you get that cross from Kuria?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, John. I’m not privy to all the ins and outs of your investigations. You’re thinking out loud.”
“You may be right, Felix. But you haven’t answered my question. When I first spoke to her, Isis told me you had often sought out Kuria. Then we decided she must have been mistaken, that she must have been thinking of Berta, the girl you visited there long ago. Perhaps Isis was right, after all. Perhaps it had been you seeing Kuria, just as she recalled. And if so, you might have been seeing her while she was a lady-in-waiting, with access to the empress. A young woman who could have poisoned Theodora at your behest.”
Felix raised his gaze to meet John’s. The dark circles around his eyes were so pronounced they might have been purple bruises. “No, John. I swear it. This cross is from a friend. A woman, yes. You are right there. Someone you don’t know. It didn’t work out, anyway. Surely you believe me?”
Chapter Forty-seven
John’s sleep was brief and troubled. He was repeatedly awakened by confused nightmares that drained away like cloudy wine from a cracked cup before he could recall what they had been about. For all he knew they might contain the solution to Theodora’s murder. Most likely they were a meaningless jumble. It was commonly said dreams were messages from the gods. If so, the gods must all be insane.
When it began to get light outside, John was happy to flee his bed, despite feeling more tired than when he lay down. As he went along the hall it came to him that Cornelia had appeared in some of the nightmares.
Surely today she would send word? If not, he would have to…what? If it were not for his investigation he would have ridden immediately to Zeno’s estate, but Justinian would not take kindly to his Lord Chamberlain
