you?”
“I don’t want to sleep. I just want to know what’s wrong with me.”
But he kept picking at the sheets, at the tape on his hand holding the IV in place. Feeling his scar. After what seemed an eternity, but was probably only a couple of minutes, Mac and Melina walked in, trailed by Noah. All were wearing neutral expressions. Mac was carrying a handheld mirror, the large round type one might find in a beauty shop—or a hospital, when a patient wants to look at an injury.
Mac moved to her brother’s bedside and gave him a broad, genuine smile. “It’s so good to see you awake. Do you know who I am?”
Rowan knew she was testing how “awake” and “present” he really was, checking for areas of concern.
“Of course I do.” He tried again to smile, but couldn’t quite manage it. “How are you, Mac? Pretty as ever, I see.”
She laughed. “Always the charmer. How long have you been awake?”
He looked to Rowan uncertainly, so she answered. “No more than ten minutes.”
“Ah.” Mac gestured to Melina. “Well, before we do anything else, Dr. Mallory and Noah are going to check your vitals, make sure you’re still physically doing well. Then we’ll get to the other stuff, all right?”
“Sure.”
“Micah, it’s good to see you back in the land of the living,” Melina said kindly.
“Thanks. Hey, you cut off your long hair.”
Melina’s smile was strained. “I did. It just got in the way, so I went into town one day and had it whacked off.”
“When we find Terry, he’ll want you to grow it back,” Micah said softly. “He loves it long.”
Everyone fell silent for a moment. Rowan knew he was just trying to offer hope in his own way, and apparently from her expression Melina did, too.
“I know. Thank you.” She got down to business. “Okay, just relax.”
Rowan moved into a corner by the window, out of the way, and watched. Noah took Micah’s blood pressure as Melina shone a light into his eyes, checking the dilation of his pupils. Then she had him squeeze her fingers and checked some other reflexes.
“What’s your full name and birth date?”
“Micah Lee Chase. October 4, 1979.”
They went through some other simple questions, like when he’d joined Alpha Pack, what his job entailed, who was president of the United States. He answered them all with no more than the normal thoughtful pause in between, passing with flying colors. Until Melina addressed the most recent events.
“Micah, do you remember your rescue, or anything since you were brought here?”
“I… No, it’s all a blank.” His brows furrowed. “Was I ever awake? I must’ve been, or why would you ask?”
“You awoke several times, but you weren’t yourself.” Melina paused, but obviously decided not to mince words. “The first time, you shifted into your wolf form, leapt out of the bed and attacked your sister.”
“What?” He glanced at Rowan, and the rest of them, stunned. “I would never hurt Ro!”
“Like I said, it wasn’t really you,” the doctor replied gently. Despite her rigid demeanor, Rowan noted she did have a soft heart when it came to her patients. “You were hurt, in pain and traumatized, and your wolf was only protecting himself and you from further injury.”
“I went nuts is what you’re saying.” Collapsing back, he stared at the ceiling. “I attacked my own sister. This is so fucked up.”
Melina pulled up a chair and sat. “Micah, you’re going to get better, and we’re going to help you. But first we need to know what you remember from the time you were taken up until your rescue.”
Again, he appeared to try hard to remember. His frustration was evident as he sighed and buried a hand in his hair. “Not a damned thing. It’s all a blank, like one minute I was with the Pack and we were about to hit the building where some vampires were holding hostages, and the next I wake up and Ro is here—six months later? And half of us are maybe dead? God.”
Melina appeared shaken. Understandable when one of the men believed dead was her mate. “Yes, and I’m sorry. More than you know. But right now our priority is to get you healed, inside and out.”
“I want to see my face,” he demanded stubbornly.
After hesitating, Melina agreed. “Okay. Dr. Grant.”
Mac handed him the mirror. He took it with the hand not encumbered by the IV and heaved a deep breath. Lifted it and stared for endless moments at his reflection. Then slowly his hand began to tremble. And then shake until his fingers lost their grip and the mirror landed in his lap. Mac retrieved it and gave it over to Noah, who hovered anxiously.
“I’m a freak,” he whispered. “I’m a goddamned fugly son of a bitch.”
“No! You’re not. You’re still handsome and—”
“Why? Why would anybody do that to me?”
The explosion Rowan feared didn’t come, but the quiet anguish was worse somehow. His chin dipped to his chest and his shoulders started to shake. She hurried forward, nudging Mac aside, gathering her brother in her arms. “I don’t know why anyone would hurt such a wonderful, beautiful man as you,” she choked out. “I wish I could kill them all for you.”
He clung to her as he’d done when they were kids, wrapped his arms around her and hung on. She hated what he’d been through, how thin he’d become. His tears soaked the front of her T-shirt.
“How did it happen? What did they do to me, Ro?”
“Sweetie, I don’t think—”
“Tell me.”
She cast a look at Melina on the other side of the bed, silently begging for help with the subject. Melina gave a quick nod, indicating that she’d take over. Rowan eased back from Micah and he gave the doctor his attention, wiping his eyes.
“The damage to your face, and the fact that the skin scarred the way it did, suggests your captors poured hot silver on you.”
“So it’s going to stay this way?” he asked with a catch in his voice.
“I’d say it’s highly probable, yes. There is a chance that with our advances in healing various types of shifters something could eventually be done, but it’s beyond our capabilities at this time.”
“What else?”
“What do you mean?”
“What else did they do to me? I want to know everything.”
“We don’t know everything your body was physically put through, and we may never know. Even if your memory returns, you might not be clear on certain things. We have ascertained that you were tortured, extensively. There were also incisions to your torso and groin, indicative of experimentation. What this group hopes to gain is to create a breed of super-shifters.”
“Ro filled me in on this Orson Chappell guy and his operation, and that there’s a Seelie prince living here now whose father is probably this guy’s boss.”
“That’s right.”
There was a heavy silence before her brother spoke again, bitterness creeping in. “Finish. I know there’s something else you’re chewing on.”
“I think,” she said slowly, “that some memories are best left to resurface in the patient’s own time. When a person is ready, they’ll remember.”
“You don’t think I’m ready?”
“It’s early days and you have a long road ahead before you’re ready to rejoin the team.”
“I’m a head case. I get it. Doesn’t matter. I want to know what I’m up against so I can deal with it, or I’m going to go even more nuts trying to figure out what you’re all hiding.” His gaze encompassed everyone in the room.
Mac moved close, gripped his hand, and took over from her colleague. “All right. I can see this is going to hurt just as much if we keep it from you.” Rowan could see how Mac struggled with the decision to tell him. Even a doctor sometimes didn’t know what the best course of action was, psychologist or not.
