The Chronicles of Amber

anything more to help you. Had I stayed in Ilerium, we would both be dead now. That is the truth.”

“You should be dead!” it cried. “Thousands perished because of you! Murderer! Traitor!”

“Enough!” Rage swept through me.

Without a second's hesitation, I stabbed the face with the tip of my sword. Steel bit into its nose with the dull thump of metal hitting wood. It didn't penetrate far, but it seemed to hurt.

“Assassin!” the face howled, its voice rising in panic. Its eyes crossed almost comically as it tried to see the wound. “Help me, someone! Help me! Save me from the assassin! ”

I jerked my sword free, leaving a long gash in the wood of its nose. Slowly, a sticky-looking black sap oozed out. It had the consistency of blood. And, like blood, it slowly beaded.

Still the tree cursed at me.

“Enough, I said!” My voice rose to a roar. If I couldn't out-fight or out-reason it, maybe I could out-shout it. “Be quiet, or I'll carve out your tongue!”

“You wouldn't dare!” it cried. “Oath-breaker! Liege-killer! Murderer!”

On and on it went.

I forced myself to take a deep, soothing breath. Clearly the hell-creatures had taken all of King Elnar's rational mind, leaving behind a creature that could only parrot human speech. Nothing remained of my old friend.

It was all too ridiculous. I couldn't allow hell-creatures to waste my time and energy. I would not fight a tree.

Shaking my head at the morbid humor of this whole situation, I turned away. I could easily waste all my time and energy trying to reason with this monstrosity. And maybe that's what the hell-creatures wanted. Maybe it was supposed to keep me busy until they could capture or kill me. Unfortunately for them, they were nowhere close. They would never find King Elnar again… never use him against me.

Clearly this thing wasn't my old liege. I didn't have to treat it with any special deference or respect. Nor would I fight with it. After all, what could I possibly accomplish by hitting a tree with a sword? Maybe I could claim “first sap” instead of “first blood” in our fight. Not that anyone would call striking an unarmed tree with a sword a fight…

Then the answer came to me suddenly.

I didn't have to do anything at all. If I wanted to win, all I had to do was walk away. If I abandoned it here, forever howling insults and cursing my name, it had no power over me.

Turning, I headed up the valley. And why not? With so many Shadows to choose from, I had no reason to ever come this way again. Let it scream. Let it curse my name. What did I care?

“Come back!” it yelled. “Coward! Simpering weakling! Traitor!”

I paused. Despite the soundness of my own advice, I discovered I couldn't just leave. I did care.

Maybe it was my oath to King Elnar. Maybe I owed something to his memory. Or maybe the hell-creatures had put a spell on the head, a compulsion to make me stay and argue with it against my own better judgment. Whatever the reason, I needed to make peace with the tree.

But how? Threats hadn't worked. Reason hadn't worked. What else remained?

“Assassin!” it continued to scream. “Murderer! Someone help me! Avenge my death! To arms! To arms! He's getting away!”

What else? Perhaps… reality?

With a sigh, I took a deep breath and faced the tree again. What did I have to lose? Things couldn't get any worse, after all. King Elnar had already died. Hell-creatures had already cut off and ensorcelled his head. Maybe, if he truly understood what had happened to him…

I seized on that idea: make him understand. If I could make him see his own grim predicament… or shut up for a minute to let me explain it… maybe that would be enough.

“Let in—” I began.

“Assassin!”

“Le—”

“Murderer!”

“—me explai—”

“Traitor!”

“—it to you!”

“Oath-breaker!”

I paused. The abuse didn't stop for a second.

A human being who talked and screamed and shouted non-stop would rapidly lose his voice. What about a tree? I didn't know. But I intended to find out.

“Liege-killer!”

“Uh-huh,” I said. “Tell me about it.”

And he did, calling me every sort of vile name imaginable—and some I never would have imagined. Through it all I just stood there and nodded, smiling now and again, making encouraging noises at all the right places. Maybe all he needed was time to talk himself hoarse.

Well, let him! His words couldn't hurt me.

Finally, as he began to repeat himself, I decided to take a rest. I sat beneath its spreading branches, stretched out my legs, and gave a wide yawn. Wriggling my back, I found a comfortable spot against the trunk, leaned back, and shut my eyes.

Abruptly the abuse stopped. I opened one eye.

“Go on,” I said. “Don't stop.”

“What are you doing?” he cried.

“Taking a nap.”

“Stop it! Murderer! Help me, someone!”

“Go on,” I said sarcastically. “I love the sound of your voice.”

If anything, that seemed to enrage him. He screamed, shouted, threatened, and insulted me time and again.

Despite the constant stream of abuse, it actually did feel nice to relax. I could even fall asleep here…

Closing my eyes again, I pretended to snore.

After ten minutes, the cursing and name-calling came to a stop. Now the tree muttered the vilest of threats under its breath, promises to disembowel, behead, and boil me in oil—sometimes all at once.

Minor progress, but progress nonetheless. I continued to snore.

The muttering lasted another ten minutes or so. At last it grew silent. Had I outlasted it? Had its murderous rage finally passed? Would it talk civilly to me now?

Cautiously opening one eye, I peeked up at King Elnar's face. He stared down at me, frowning severely.

“Don't stop,” I said with a chuckle. “The music of your voice soothes my sleep.”

“What are you doing?” it demanded.

“Resting.”

“Why?”

“I felt like it.”

“Traitor!”

“Scream all you want,” I said, folding my arms behind my head and closing my eyes. “It doesn't bother me a bit.”

“Why not?”

“We're far from Ilerium. I don't have to worry about hell-creatures finding and killing me here.”

“Why not?”

“It's just you and me, old friend. No one can hear you, so go ahead! Scream all you want! Curse. Call me