“I’m starting on Monday,” I said.
She flew at me and hugged me.
“I knew you would. I knew it.”
“Lady Perrivale was determined. No applicant for a post can ever have had such an extraordinary interview. You would have thought she was the one who wanted the job.”
“Well, Mrs. Ford told me how it would be.” She looked at me anxiously.
“Did you see … the girl?”
I nodded.
“She’s a challenge,” I said.
“And if it is possible to find the truth I have to.”
“For Simon’s sake. Poor lamb … out there in the wilds somewhere.
If only he could come home to us. “
“We’re going to succeed. Nanny. We are on the way.”
Now that I had come so far, I had to face the difficulties.
I should have to tell my father that I was taking a post as governess.
That would bewilder him. And I did not forget Aunt Maud. I was sure she would be most disapproving because becoming a governess would not enhance my chances of what she would call a good marriage. But by the time they heard, I should be installed in Perrivale Court.
I should have to write to Felicity. I wondered what her reaction would be. If she knew the truth behind it, of course, she would understand, for she did realize how restless I was. She herself had been a governess, but I had been a very different child from Kate, and Felicity and I had had good times together from the beginning.
I was unprepared for Lucas’s reaction.
I did not see him until dinner that evening. It had become a dismal meal since Theresa’s death. We were all conscious of the place where she used to sit at one end of the table opposite Carleton. Now that place was empty and every now and then one of us would gaze furtively towards it. Conversation was laborious and there would be certain gaps when Lucas and I sought for something to say. In the past we had lingered over meals; now they were occasions which everyone wished to be over as soon as possible.
Lucas said: “I haven’t seen you all day. I looked for you this afternoon.”
“No,” I said.
“I went to Perrivale Court.”
“Perrivale Court!” he echoed disbelievingly.
“Yes … as a matter of fact I’m going to work there.”
“What?”
“As a governess. Lady Perrivale has a daughter … Kate. I am going to act as her governess.”
“Whatever for?”
“Well, it’s something to do and …”
“It’s a ridiculous idea!” He looked at Carleton, who was staring gloomily at his plate.
“Did you hear that?” he said.
“Rosetta plans to go to Perrivale Court as governess to the girl there.”
“Yes, I heard,” said Carleton.
“Well, don’t you think it’s crazy?”
Carleton coughed slightly.
I said: “I shall be starting on Monday. I have to do something, and I thought this would be a start.”
Lucas was speechless.
Carleton said: “It was good of you to stay with us so long. The children are so fond of you. We knew of course that you would only be here temporarily until they had recovered a little from …”
Then we all fell into silence.
As soon as dinner was over, Lucas hustled me into the drawing-room.
“I’d like to talk,” he said.
“Yes?”
“It’s about this nonsense …”
“It’s not nonsense. It’s perfectly reasonable. I want to do something.”
“There are lots of things you could do. If you’re so eager to look after children, what’s wrong with the two here?”
“It’s not the same, Lucas.”
“What do you mean not the same? Do you realize what you are letting yourself in for?”
“If I find it intolerable I shall just leave.”
“That place! There’s something about it. You there! I just can’t imagine it.”
“Lots of young women take posts as governesses.”
“You’re not qualified.”
“How many of them are? I have had a fair education. I could teach some things.”
“It’s absurd. Tell me, Rosetta, why are you doing this? There must be a reason.”
I was silent for a few seconds. I longed to tell him. On impulse I had told Nanny Crockett, but then I had seen that she was emotionally involved and it was obvious that I had then taken a step in the right direction. I wavered.
But I was uncertain of Lucas. He should feel grateful to the man who had saved his life, but Lucas was a calm realist, and I was unsure of what action he would take.
He answered for me.
“After going through all that … well, it’s natural that you should feel unsettled. Life at home seems dull … well, predictable. You are reaching out for change. I can only think that it was that which made you take this ridiculous action.”
“I don’t see it as ridiculous, Lucas.”
“You get on so well with the twins and you and Nanny Crockett seem to be in some conspiracy or other. You’re always together.”
I caught my breath. Conspiracy? It was almost as though he guessed.
He said sharply: “How did you know that they wanted a governess at Perrivale? Through Nanny Crockett, I suppose. I’ve heard she is still friendly with someone up there.”
“Well, yes …”
“I thought so. And you concocted this between you. I tell you, it’s madness. That place! There’s something unsavoury about it since the murder. It’s not the sort of place you should go to. All that trouble and that woman being engaged to the victim and then promptly marrying the other…”
“That has nothing to do with the governess.”
“Governess!” he said contemptuously. ‘yom a governess! “
“Why not?”
“You’re not the type.”
“What types are governesses? There are all sorts, I do assure you.”
“Well, you don’t fit into any of the categories. You’d better marry me.”
I stared at him.
“What did you say?”
“You’re restless. Since you’ve been back, everything seems dull after such hair-raising adventures as you have experienced.
You want something to happen. Very well. Marry me. “
I burst out laughing.
“Really, Lucas, who is being absurd now?”
“Still you. I’m as calm and sensible as ever. The more I think of the idea the more I like it.”
“You don’t care for me.”
“But I do. Next to myself I love you best in the world.”
That made me laugh again and I was glad of the light relief.
“I am not taking you seriously, of course,” I said, ‘but this must be the most unusual proposal anyone has
