Warhol's Prophecy

Why are you telling him this? You’ve known this man for less than two hours.

She looked back deeply into his eyes, as if seeking reassurance for her confession, wondering why she wanted to tell him. Surprised at how easy it had been.

‘Rob wanted a child,’ she continued, her tone subdued. ‘He had his heart set on it. I wanted to carry on working. I loved that job, and it paid well too. I thought that I could be a help to Rob if I was independent, not relying on him for money all the time.’ She exhaled wearily. ‘We even spoke about an abortion. Well, I mentioned it. Rob didn’t want that.’

Walker didn’t speak, merely sat gazing at Hailey as she continued.

‘As the pregnancy became more advanced, it got to the stage where it was too late for an abortion. By that time I’d come to terms with it.’

‘But you weren’t happy?’

‘I would have waited until I was ready. I suppose some people would say that I gave in to Rob. He always wanted me to give up my job working for Jim, and the pregnancy gave him an excuse.’

She shrugged. ‘But I wouldn’t change things now,’ she said, none too convincingly. ‘I love Becky more than anything in the world.’ She swallowed hard. ‘I suppose you think I’m stupid.’

He reached out across the table and, very slowly, drew one index finger across the back of her right hand.

She caught the digit and squeezed gently, holding it for a second, looking again into his eyes.

‘You’re not stupid,’ he told her.

‘If I’d been as determined as you, I wouldn’t have given up my job, would I?’ She smiled.

‘It takes a lot of strength to be so single-minded, to want something so badly that everything else becomes secondary. Not everyone has that strength. Not everyone should have that strength. It took just as much courage for you to give up your job.’

‘Like I said, I love Becky more than anything else in the world.’

‘Anything?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Do you love her more than your husband?’

Hailey shook her head and smiled.

‘Adam, what kind of question is that?’ she said.

‘I was curious, that’s all.’

‘It’s a different kind of love. It’s unconditional: both ways. Perhaps it’s easier to love a child than another adult, because the child doesn’t expect anything of you. All they want is for you to be there when they need you.’

‘And what does Rob want from you?’

She looked down at the table, her eyes focused on a small puddle of spilled milk.

‘Sometimes I’m not sure what he wants,’ she said finally.

‘You know he loves you, though?’

She nodded.

‘What about you?’ she wanted to know. ‘You must have loved someone at sometime.’ Hailey wanted him to talk for a change. She was beginning to feel she had already said too much to him, and yet it was so easy to talk in front of this man – this stranger. She felt as if she’d known him all her life. No detail of her life seemed too intimate to share with him.

Even Rob’s affair?

‘There’ve been women,’ he told her.

‘Lots?’ she said, smiling.

‘I don’t keep score.’

‘And you’re telling me you never loved one of them?’

‘Career first,’ he reminded her.

She grinned.

‘I’ll make it, Hailey,’ Walker continued.

‘I don’t doubt that, Adam. Not for a minute.’

Only when she looked down did she realize she was still holding his hand.

And it felt right.

Despite everything she knew.

It felt right.

16

HAILEY STOOD BENEATH the shower spray, eyes closed, the jets of water stinging her skin. She adjusted the temperature slightly, reached for the soap and began smoothing it over her body.

She’d arrived home less than twenty minutes ago and headed straight upstairs for a shower. She had another hour before having to pick up Becky from school.

There had been a couple of messages on the answer-phone, but she’d decided to leave them until afterwards.

Now she stood beneath the spray, an image of Adam Walker imprinted on her mind.

Their parting had been awkward, almost clumsy. Both of them standing outside Tivoli’s looking at each other, wondering what to do next. How to conclude their meeting. Hailey had wondered for brief, ridiculous seconds if she should shake hands with him.

Finally she had leant forward and kissed him gently on the cheek, thanking him for meeting her for lunch.

He had seemed a little reluctant to leave her then, offering to walk her back to her car. She had declined.

She’d kissed him again on the cheek, then turned and walked away, though wanting to look back in his direction. Even now she wondered why she hadn’t.

Frightened he wouldn’t have been still looking at you?

Because she knew that was what she wanted.

She had wanted to turn and see him looking longingly after her.

She had wanted him to be attracted to her, wanted him to desire her.

Wanted him to want her.

As she wanted him?

As she soaped her breasts she felt her nipples stiffen and she worked the soap into the hard buds, her other hand gliding down her belly into the wet curls of her pubic mound. Then beyond to the warm moisture between her thighs.

She tried for a moment to push his image from her mind, but then decided not to. She wanted that sight in her subconscious. Wanted to think of him looking at her. To think of him touching her.

Her breathing became deeper as her index finger began to gently stroke around her clitoris. She stepped back so that the jets of water struck her hips and upper thighs, their stinging sensation pleasing, adding to the pleasure she was already feeling from the movement of her fingers.

What are you doing?

Her eyes snapped open and she pulled her hand away from her swollen labia, as if ashamed of the sensations she felt there.

What are you doing?

She switched off the shower and stood motionless in the cubicle, droplets of water still falling from the shower head, plopping into puddles on the tiles beneath her feet.

Hailey listened to her own harsh breathing for a moment longer, then stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and dried herself hurriedly.

She pulled on jeans and a T-shirt, stepped into trainers and hurried downstairs.