pep talk.
“Dude, it’s so fucking good to see you,” Jim said wrapping his arms around Kayden.
I climbed out of the car, walking towards the guys.
“You too, man.” Slapping him on the back Kayden turned his attention towards me. “Jim, this is Sophia.”
I held out my hand to greet Jim, but he wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in a hug. “It’s so good to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you,” Jim said.
“It’s good to meet you, too.” Kayden had told me wild stories about Jim and his carefree lifestyle. I was happy to meet another friend of his, one that he’d been friends with for years. Jim helped Kayden find a job after his arrest; he was already working in New Orleans. Jim knew his troubled past and rotten luck in love, he didn’t judge Kayden, and for that I already liked him.
“Lemme show you guys around,” Jim said walking towards his home.
There wasn’t much to see, but we walked around listening to him. The trailer consisted of one room, filled with a bed, couch, television, and mini kitchen. There was a small closet attached with a bike inside. Jim lived modestly, but he had been kind to offer us a place to stay for the night, but where were we going to sleep? I didn’t quite know until Jim started emptying out the closet.
“I’ll put my bike outside for the night. I have a mattress I can put on the floor for you two. Don’t mind my clothes, just move them out of the way if you need to,” he said.
Kayden looked at me, watching my reaction for anything resembling horror, but I didn’t move a muscle. I didn’t care where we relaxed and slept for the evening, even if it was a closet.
“You guys want to order pizza?” Jim asked.
“That’d be great.” Kayden responded.
Jim couldn’t seem to sit still, he seemed nervous. I don’t think he was used to having people in his cramped space. Kayden and I sat on the couch while Jim moved around the space, talking non-stop with Kayden about work and life. I sat quietly on the couch listening to the boys, watching them interact. I know Kayden had missed his male friends; Suzy and I were only so much fun. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice Jim heading for the door until the noise it made me jump.
“Where’d he go?” I asked.
“He wanted to smoke some weed, but I told him he needed to go outside,” Kayden said.
I kind of felt guilty in that moment. It’s his home and I’m the guest. I didn’t smoke it myself, but I didn’t think poorly of him for it either. “Why?”
“I told him you don’t smoke and that you work in a school… you can’t be around that type of shit, Sophia.” Kayden looked at me like I was crazy for even needing an explanation.
“Oh, he didn’t have to for me. I feel bad you told him that Kayden. It’s freezing ass cold outside,” I said.
“He’ll be quick and he’s a big boy, he can handle the cold.”
Kayden kissed my forehead before standing up to peak in the closet. “You going to be okay staying in there tonight?” he asked.
“Sure, I don’t care at this point. I’m tired and cold.” I shrugged my shoulders.
Jim walked through the door with the pizza in hand. There was no table space to eat, but we’d make due. We ate our pizza on the couch and Jim sat over the edge of the bed facing us. The guys continued their conversation about cable… boring subject for me.
“So what do you do, Sophia?” Jim asked.
I held up a finger, still chewing my food. Swallowing hard I replied, “I’m a school librarian.”
“Wow. You’re the first girl he’s been with that actually has a career. You’re nice, too, unlike the last one.” Jim rolled his eyes showing his hatred of Lisa. Not a single person I’ve met in the last so many months had a nice thing to say about her.
Kayden poured himself a drink. “Either of you want one?” he asked holding the bottle.
“A small one please,” I replied.
“No thanks,” Jim said.
Kayden filled his glass halfway with Vodka. My throat burned thinking about the taste. Kayden handed me my drink and sat down next to me. I watched as he gulped the liquid in his glass, not even a flinch. I wrinkled my nose as I took a sip, the smell harsh.
“Heard from the bitch lately?” Jim asked.
Kayden explained everything, told him about all the bullshit he had to deal with over the months. Jim agreed with me that Kayden needed to talk to his probation officer, Jim seemed to know a thing or two about the law, having been arrested a time or two in his life. Maybe Kayden would listen to someone other than me; he usually listened to my advice, but he felt I was too naive about the legal system.
I rubbed my hands together; they were cold from the drink and the decreasing temperature in the trailer. The sun had set a dew lined the windows. “I’m sorry guys. I don’t have any propane to heat the place. I only have a tiny space heater.”
The expected low tonight would be close to freezing and we wouldn’t have any heat to keep us warm. I hate being cold, my body used to the heat of central Florida. “It’s okay, Jim. I’ll just put on some extra layers,” I said. Damn, I never slept with many clothes on, always feeling suffocated. I was already freezing in my jeans and hoodie and knew I’d look more like a kid in a snowsuit with the amount of clothes I’d need before the end of the night. I felt a bit crabby in this moment… the evening hadn’t turned out like I had expected, but they never did lately.
“I’m going to grab some stuff from the car, I’ll be right back,” I said kissing Kayden on the lips. I excused myself heading for the door, needed a moment to myself. I felt myself becoming crabby, and needed to get out of the overcrowded space.
I grabbed an extra pair of socks, a long sleeve shirt and my gloves—not my usual indoor attire, but necessary tonight. My cheeks stung from the winds as I crawled in the driver’s seat. I needed time to think about everything that had happened in the last few days. I closed the door to keep the chilly night air out. Clutching the steering wheel, I rested my forehead against it and sighed. Quiet.
It only lasted a moment before Kayden knocked on my window.
“You okay in there?” he said through the glass. I opened the door and put on a fake smile. “Yes, just taking a moment and putting on some extra layers.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry Sophia. This has turned into one giant cluster fuck. Do you want to go?” he asked trying to make me happy. I could smell the vodka on his breath when he spoke.
“No, he’s gone through so much trouble for us, it wouldn’t be right.”
He held out his hand to me. “Come back inside then?” He stood there waiting for my response.
I grabbed him hand, following him inside. As I walked past the trash can an empty bottle caught my eye. Kayden had polished it off while I was outside, my heart ached instantly. By the amount of vodka he consumed, I knew he’d be wrecked soon enough.
I curled up on the couch with Kayden at my side. I stared at the movie playing on the television and zoned out to my surroundings. Kayden had slumped over, resting his head on my leg. He was out cold; the vodka had finally hit him. His body was curled up, his hands resting between his legs for warmth. He looked like a little boy trying to avoid going to bed.
Jim looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders. I gave him a small smile, not knowing what else to do or say. Kayden snored softly, his chest moving in and out.
“I hate when he drinks so much,” I said to Jim.
“It has to be tough on you,” he replied giving me a sympathetic look. “He’s better than he used to be though, Sophia.”
“Pisses me off that he’s passed out,” I said. Looking down with my words I realized his eyes were open and he heard every word. He didn’t have a smile on his face, but was glaring at me.
“Why did you drink the whole bottle?” I asked him.
“I needed it. Two would have been too much and given me a headache,” Kayden slurred.
I furrowed my brows at the thought of him drinking more than he did tonight and his careless attitude. “It would have given me a headache, too,” I replied.
“Funny, Soph,” Kayden replied closing his eyes again.
I was cranky and my body half frozen, I could almost see my breath, a drunk boyfriend lying in my lap in a place that wasn’t my home—I needed sleep, more than that, I needed this fucking day to end.
