I lifted her fingers to my lips. I wanted so badly to just pull her into my lap and touch every part of her. It was a silly, but very real desire. Something I’d never felt with Aubrey.
“Were you in a relationship? Before?” Before was the general term we used for any time before the first day of the outbreak.
Scarlet shook her head. “No. I was enjoying being single.”
“Oh.”
She laughed and squeezed my hand. “Maybe I just hadn’t met the right person, yet.”
“Maybe not,” I said, grinning like an idiot. Damn, I had it bad.
“Probably because the right person was married.”
I frowned for just a second, but cleared my expression before she noticed. Technically, I wasn’t single, and I worried that would make Scarlet think less of me.
“Does that bother you?”
Scarlet thought for a moment, and then shook her head. “The world is different, now. She left you a note saying that your marriage was over. I’d say in these times, that’s as good as a divorce. I worry about Zoe, though, don’t you?”
I loved her for that. “She doesn’t know anything, yet.”
“Oh, I think she knows more than you give her credit for.”
“You think?”
“I know. My girls knew everything I didn’t want them to. I think it’s a female thing.”
I smiled. “Good point.” Scarlet looked up into my eyes, and I blinked, suddenly feeling how close we were. I leaned in just a fraction of an inch, my lips burning to touch hers.
Scarlet leaned her head against my shoulder. “I need my girls here.”
I breathed out, her rejection deflating me. “I know.”
“No. I mean . . . I need them here. Safe. It doesn’t feel right to be happy otherwise.”
I knew then what she meant, and for the first time, I realized that I had been fooling myself. There was no one that wasn’t touched by the infection.
Miranda
BRYCE SAT ON THE FENCE, watching Butch nose around in the dirt. We didn’t have a lot to talk about anymore. I shared all of my thoughts and feelings with Joey, and Bryce had quit trying to get me to repeat them. It felt like a waste, anyway; redundant. My fourteen-year-old self wanted to hug him and assure him that I would always love him. My eighteen-year-old self wanted to apologize that he was stuck with someone who was so selfish, she couldn’t see past her own impulsive wishes. I was too much of a coward to do either, so I just kept pretending—poorly—to Bryce that everything was fine, and sneaking around to spend time with Joey after dark.
Just as I could barely stand to look at myself, Scarlet could barely stand to look at the hill another day. The sight of it made her angry, and she began spending more and more time watching the same spot for signs of her children. Her moods shifted in an instant, and after a while, even Nathan’s level head and smooth voice couldn’t keep her calm.
She quit allowing him to wait with her, but he would wait on the arm of the couch, right next to the door, in case she would break down into tears, and occasionally she did.
After three weeks of watching Scarlet wait, I watched her walk in and grab her rifle and a backpack, filling it with ammo.
Nathan stood from his perch on the couch. “Scarlet?”
She shoved a few more boxes into the pack, a bag of chips, two bottles of water, and then zipped it up. “I just saw another ted heading south in the field.”
“What are you going to do, chase it down? I thought we agreed that was an unnecessary risk.”
Scarlet slid the pack over her shoulders, and then grabbed a hatchet from behind the front door. “My girls are out there, Nathan.”
“Yes, but you don’t know why they’re not here yet, or when they’ll show up.”
“Maybe they can’t get here. Maybe they’re alone and are too scared to pass Shallot. I can’t just sit here anymore.”
Nathan sighed. “Okay. I understand that you’re frustrated, but we need to talk about this.”
Scarlet frowned. “What is there to talk about? I’m going.”
“Okay, you’re going, but we can’t talk about it first? Get a plan together?”
Scarlet shrugged. “Walk the roads and shoot teds. What other plan do I need?”
“It’s not safe to go alone.”
Scarlet shook her head and reached for the door. “I’m not going to be responsible if something happens to you, Nathan. You have a daughter to take care of.”
“You have two.”
Scarlet looked around to the rest of us. “Will someone please tell Nathan this is a bad idea?”
“I’m going with you,” Elleny said quietly.
Scarlet smiled and touched her cheek. “I need you to stay here where it’s safe. I can’t concentrate if I’m watching out for you, too. Got it?”
Elleny clearly didn’t like it, but she nodded.
Joey stood up. “I’m going, too.”
Scarlet held out her palm. “Now him I’ll take. You,” she said, pointing her palm at Nathan, “are staying here.”
“Don’t make me do this,” Nathan said. He took the few steps to stand next to her, touched his fingers to her arm, and spoke with subdued desperation in her ear. He was becoming agitated, and that wasn’t like him.
“Do what?” Scarlet said, instantly defensive.
“Choose between you and my daughter.”
Scarlet was speechless, like the rest of us. Finally, she spoke, pulling away from him. “I would never ask you to do that. It’s not a choice, Nathan.” She began to open the door, and Nathan took her wrist in his hand. “Let go,” she said calmly.
“Scarlet, I’m asking you. Don’t do this.”
“I’m not waiting for them anymore. I have to help them. This is the only way I know how.”
“And what if you get yourself killed and they show up here? What am I supposed to tell them? That they came all the way here for nothing?”
Scarlet stared at Nathan, wriggled her wrist out of his grasp, and then looked to Joey. “Are you coming or not?”
“Right behind you.” Joey began to follow Scarlet, but he stopped at the door. “I’ll keep her safe, Nate.”
Nathan nodded.
Bryce kissed my cheek. “I’m going, too.”
“What?” I said. “
“I want to make sure she doesn’t get herself killed before her kids get here. I’ve been watching her wait on that porch every morning for a month. I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get to see them because we didn’t help her.”
“Then I’m going, too,” I said.
Bryce shook his head. “No, you and Ashley need to stay here with the girls. Coop?”
“Yeah,” Cooper said, leaning over to kiss Ashley. Against Ashley’s persistent pleas, he grabbed a baseball bat and followed Bryce out the door.
Once the door closed behind Cooper, the house was instantly and eerily quiet. Nathan took Zoe and Elleny to the table and began pulling out food for breakfast. Ashley stood at the door, watching Cooper walk down the road.
“You really think her kids are out there?” Ashley said, keeping her eye on the group. “You think they’re still alive?”
“Yes,” Nathan said from the kitchen.
“You shouldn’t have let her go,” I snapped. “Everyone we love is out there.”
