Night Over Water

bald Ollis Field. Lulu Bell had not stopped chatting to Mark. Diana ignored her. She no longer felt angry with Lulu. The woman was intrusive and overbearing, but she had enabled Diana to see her true situation.

They passed through customs and left the dock. They found themselves at the western end of a one-street village. A herd of cows was being driven along the street, and they had to wait while the beasts passed.

Diana heard Princess Lavinia say loudly: “Why have I been brought to this farm?”

Davy, the little steward, replied in a soothing voice: “I’ll take you into the terminal building, Princess.” He pointed across the road to a large building like an old inn with ivy growing up the walls. “There’s a very comfortable bar, called Mrs. Walsh’s pub, where they sell excellent Irish whiskey.”

When the cows had gone, several of the passengers followed Davy to Mrs. Walsh’s pub. Diana said to Mark: “Let’s walk through the village.” She wanted to get him on his own as soon as possible. He smiled and agreed. However, some other passengers had the same idea, Lulu among them; and it was a small crowd that strolled along the main street of Foynes.

There were a railway station, a post office and a church, then two rows of gray stone houses with slate roofs. Some of the houses had shop fronts. There were several pony carts parked along the street but only one motorized truck. The villagers, dressed in tweeds and homespun, stared at the visitors in silk and furs, and Diana felt as if she were in a procession. Foynes had not yet got used to being a stopover for the world’s wealthy and privileged elite.

She was hoping that the party would split up, but they stayed together in a knot, like explorers afraid of getting lost. She began to feel trapped. Time was passing. They went by another bar, and she suddenly said to Mark: “Let’s go in there.”

Lulu immediately said: “What a great idea—there’s nothing to see in Foynes.”

Diana had had quite enough of Lulu. “I’d really like to talk to Mark alone,” she said crossly.

Mark was embarrassed. “Honey!” he protested.

“Don’t worry!” Lulu said immediately. “We’ll walk on, and leave you lovers alone. There’ll be another bar, if I know anything at all about Ireland!” Her tone was gay, but her eyes were cold.

Mark said: “I’m sorry, Lulu—”

“Don’t be!” she said brightly.

Diana did not like Mark apologizing for her. She turned on her heel and went into the building, leaving him to follow at his leisure.

The place was dim and cool. There was a high bar, with bottles and barrels racked behind it. In front were a few wooden tables and chairs on a plank floor. Two old men sitting in the comer stared up at Diana. She was wearing an orange-red silk coat over her dotted dress. She felt like a princess in a pawnshop.

A small woman in an apron appeared behind the bar. Diana said: “May I have a brandy, please?” She wanted some Dutch courage. She sat down at a small table.

Mark came in—probably having apologized some more to Lulu, Diana thought sourly. He sat beside her and said: “What was all that about?”

“I’ve had enough of Lulu,” Diana said.

“Why did you have to be so rude?”

“I wasn’t rude. I simply said I wanted to talk to you alone.”

“Couldn’t you have found a more tactful way of saying so?”

“I think she’s probably oblivious to hints.”

He looked annoyed and defensive. “Well, you’re wrong. She’s actually a sensitive person, although she seems brash.”

“It doesn’t matter, anyway.”

“How can it not matter? You’ve just offended one of my oldest friends!”

The barmaid brought Diana’s brandy. She drank some quickly to steel her nerve. Mark ordered a glass of Guinness. Diana said: “It doesn’t matter because I’ve changed my mind about this whole thing, and I’m not coming to America with you.”

He went pale. “You can’t mean that.”

“I’ve been thinking. I don’t want to go. I’m going back to Mervyn—if he’ll have me.” But she felt sure he would.

“You don’t love him. You told me that. And I know it’s true.”

“What do you know? You’ve never been married.” He looked hurt, and she softened. She put her hand on his knee. “You’re right. I don’t love Mervyn the way I love you.” She felt ashamed of herself, and took her hand away. “But it’s no good.”

“I’ve been paying too much attention to Lulu,” Mark said penitently. “I’m sorry, honey. I apologize. I guess I got wrapped up in her because it’s so long since last I saw her. I’ve been ignoring you. This is our big adventure, and I forgot that for an hour. Please forgive me.”

He was sweet when he felt he had been wrong: he had a sorrowful expression that looked boyish. Diana forced herself to remember how she had been feeling an hour ago. “It’s not just Lulu,” she said. “I think I’ve been foolhardy.”

The barmaid brought Mark’s drink but he did not touch it.

Diana went on. “I’ve left everything I know: home, husband, friends and country. I’m on a flight across the Atlantic, which is dangerous in itself. And I’m going to a strange country where I have no friends, no money, nothing.”

Mark looked distraught. “Oh, God, I see what I’ve done. I abandoned you just when you were feeling vulnerable. Baby, I feel such a horse’s ass. I promise I’ll never do that again.”

Perhaps he would keep such a promise, and perhaps he would not. He was loving, but he was also easygoing. It was not in him to stick to a plan. He was sincere now, but would he remember his vow next time he ran into an old friend? It was his playful attitude to life that had attracted Diana in the first place; and now, ironically, she saw that that very attitude made him unreliable. One thing you could say for Mervyn was that he was reliable: good or bad, his habits never changed.

“I don’t feel I can rely on you,” she said.

He looked angry. “When have I ever let you down?”

She could not think of an instance. “You will, though,” she said.

“Anyway, you want to leave all these things behind. You’re unhappy with your husband, your country’s at war, and you’re bored with your home and your friends—you told me that.”

“Bored, but not frightened.”

“There’s nothing to be frightened of. America is like England. People speak the same language, go to the same movies, listen to the same jazz bands. You’re going to love it. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

She wished she could believe him.

“And there’s another thing,” he went on. “Children.”

That shaft went home. She did so long to have a baby, and Mervyn was adamant that he would not. Mark would be such a good father, loving and happy and tender. Now she felt confused, and her determination weakened. Maybe she should give up everything, after all. What was home and security to her if she could not have a family?

But what if Mark were to abandon her halfway to California? Suppose another Lulu turned up in Reno, just after the divorce, and Mark went off with her? Diana would be stranded with no husband, no children, no money and no home.

She wished now that she had been slower to say yes to him. Instead of throwing her arms around him and agreeing to everything right away, she should have discussed the future carefully and thought of all the snags. She should have asked for some kind of security, even just the price of a ticket home, in case things went wrong. But that might have offended him, and anyway it was going to take more than a ticket to get across the Atlantic once the war started in earnest.

I don’t know what I should have done, she thought miserably, but it’s too late for regrets. I’ve made my decision and I won’t be talked out of it.

Mark took her hands in his own, and she was too sad to withdraw them. “You changed your mind once. Now change it back,” he said persuasively. “Come with me, and be my wife, and we’ll have children together. We’ll live in