Just One Look

Grudgingly Emma produced her journal.

“Hockey stick, hockey stick,

Do you love to score?

When you are used to shoot,

Do you feel like you want more?”

Emma looked up. Grace said, “Wow” and clapped, but she was simply not as good at the enthusiasm game as Jack. She kissed them both good night and headed back downstairs. The wine bottle was open. She and Cora began to drink. She missed Jack. He’d been gone less than twenty-four hours-he’d been gone longer on business trips plenty of times-and yet the house seemed to sag somehow. Something felt lost, irretrievably so. The missing of him had already become a physical ache.

Grace and Cora drank some more. Grace thought about her children. She thought about a life, a whole life, without Jack. We do anything to shield our children from pain. Losing Jack would, no doubt, crush Grace. But that was okay. She could take it. Her pain, however, would be nothing next to what it would do to the two children upstairs who, she knew, lay awake, sensing something was amiss.

Grace looked at the photographs lining the walls.

Cora moved next to her. “He’s a good man.”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?”

“Too much wine,” Grace said.

“Not enough, you ask me. Where did Mr. Mobster take you?”

“To see a Christian rock band.”

“Quite the first date.”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’m all ears.”

But Grace shook her head. She didn’t want to think about Jimmy X. An idea came to her. She mulled it over, let it settle.

“What?” Cora said.

“Maybe Jack made more than one call.”

“You mean, besides the call to his sister?”

“Yes.”

Cora nodded. “Have you set up an online account?”

“We have AOL.”

“No, I mean for your phone bill.”

“Not yet.”

“No time like the present then.” Cora stood up. There was a teeter to her step now. The wine was making them both warm. “Who do you use for long distance?”

“Cascade.”

They were back by Jack’s computer. Cora sat at the desk, cracked her knuckles, and went to work. She brought up Cascade’s Web site. Grace gave her the necessary information-address, social security number, credit card. They came up with a password. Cascade sent an e-mail to Jack’s account verifying that he’d just signed up for online billing.

“We’re in,” Cora said.

“I don’t get it.”

“An online billing account. I just set it up. You can now view and pay your phone bill over the Internet.”

Grace looked over Cora’s shoulder. “That’s last month’s bill.”

“Yep.”

“But it won’t have the calls from last night.”

“Hmm. Let me e-mail a request. We can also call Cascade and ask.”

“They’re not open twenty-four-seven. Part of the discount service.” Grace leaned closer to the monitor. “Let me see if he called his sister before last night.”

Her eyes skimmed down the list. Nothing. No unfamiliar numbers either. She no longer felt weird doing this, spying on the husband she loved and trusted, which of course felt weird in and of itself.

“Who pays the bills?” Cora asked.

“Jack does most of them.”

“The phone bill comes to the house?”

“Yes.”

“You look at it?”

“Sure.”

Cora nodded. “Jack has a cell phone, right?”

“Right.”

“What about that bill?”

“What about it?”

“Do you look at it?”

“No, it’s his.”

Cora smiled.

“What?”

“When my ex was cheating on me, he used the cell because I never looked at those bills.”

“Jack isn’t cheating.”

“But he may be keeping secrets, right?”

“Could be,” Grace allowed. “Okay, yeah, probably.”

“So where would he keep the phone bills for his mobile?”

Grace checked the file cabinet. He saved the bills from Cascade. She checked under the Vs for Verizon Wireless. Nothing. “They’re not here.”

Cora rubbed her hands together. “Ooo, suspicious.” She was into it now. “So let’s do that voodoo that they do that we do.”

“And what exactly do we do?”

“Let’s say Jack is keeping something from you. He would probably destroy the bills the minute he gets them, right?”

Grace shook her head. “This is so bizarre.”

“But am I right?”

“Yeah, okay, if Jack is keeping secrets from me-”

“Everyone has secrets, Grace. C’mon, you know that. Are you telling me that this all comes as a total surprise?”

This truth would normally have made Grace pause, but there was no time for such indulgences. “Okay, so let’s say Jack did destroy the cell phone bills-how are we going to get them?”

“Same way I just did. We set up another online account, this time under Verizon Wireless.” Cora started typing.

“Cora?”

“Yep.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“How do you know how to do all this?”

“Practical experience.” She stopped typing and looked back at Grace. “How do you think I found out about Adolf and Eva?”

“You spied on them?”

“Yup. I bought a book called Spying for Dodos or something like that. It’s all in there. I wanted to make sure I had all the facts before I confronted his sorry ass.”

“What did he say when you showed it to him?”

“That he was sorry. That he’d never do it again. That he’d give up Ivana of the Implant and never see her again.”

Grace watched her friend type. “You really love him, don’t you?”

“More than life itself.” Still typing, Cora added, “How about opening another bottle of wine?”

“Only if we’re not driving tonight.”

“You want me to sleep here?”

“We shouldn’t drive, Cora.”

“Okay, deal.”

Grace stood and felt her head reel from the drink. She headed back into the kitchen. Cora often drank too much, but tonight Grace was happy to join her. She opened another bottle of the Lindemans. The wine was warm so she put an ice cube in both. Gauche, but they liked it cold.

When Grace got back into the office, the printer was whirring. She handed Cora a glass and sat. Grace stared at the wine. She started