own femininity be fulfilled? I had wished to go forth in the palace. I had not been permitted to do so, by men. I was angry! But, too, I knew that there were other emotions, deeper emotions, unfamiliar and troubling emotions, uncontrollable emotions, that were welling up within me. These emotions frightened me, and released me. I had not been able to do what I wished. It had not been permitted by men. My will had been overridden. I had been forced to comply not with my own wishes but with those of others. I had had to obey. 'I am a Tatrix!' I said, angrily. But I did not believe that it was a Tatrix which lay most deeply within me.
'What am I?' I wondered.
I rose on the couch to a position half sitting, half kneeling. I looked at the girl in the mirror, half sitting, half kneeling, as I was.
'What are you?' I asked. 'Are you a Tatrix?'
She did not respond.
'You do not look like a Tatrix,' I told her. Again she did not respond. I then lowered myself to the couch and lay, again, on my stomach, near the foot of the couch. I recalled the girl in the mirror. I did not think she was so much different, truly, from the girls I had seen on the street, or those who had been chained on the cement shelves. I did not think that a man would think twice about it, for example, if he found her in a slave market. I was angry with Ligurious. I bad been told he was with his 'women.'
I wondered what it would be like to be one of his 'women.' Susan, I knew, was one of his women. She was half naked, branded and collared. She knelt before him, head down. She accorded him the utmost deference and respect. I wondered what it would be to be the woman of a man such as Ligurious. Suppose I did not please him, I said to myself. Would I be whipped? Yes, I said to myself, I would be whipped.
'What am I?' I wondered.
'I am a Tatrix,' I responded.
I saw then that it was near morning. I then fell asleep where I had lain down, near the bottom of the couch, near the chain and slave ring.
5 Miles of Argentum; Drusus Rencius Speculates on What I Might Ring as a Slave; I Have Obtained Greater Freedoms
'The arrogant knave now approaching the throne,' said Ligurious, whispering in my ear, 'is Miles, an ambassador, and general, from Argentum.'
The fellow, approaching, coming up the long aisle toward 'But do you not accept them for yourself, as well?' inquired Ligurious. 'Had I my will,' he said, 'I would have come to the walls of Corcyrus not with the scrolls of protest but the engines of war.'
'Beware the quickness of your tongue,' said Ligurious, 'for you rant now not in one of Argentum's taverns but in Corcyrus, and before the throne of her Tatrix.' 'Forgive me, noble Ligurious,' said Miles. 'I forgot myself. It was a natural mistake. In the taverns of Argenturn we of Argcnturn are indeed accustomed to speaking freely before women such as your Tatrix. They are paga slaves.' There were cries of rage about me.
'Indeed,' said he, 'I have bad many women far superior to your Tatrix in just such taverns. They served, well in their chains, naked, in the pleasure alcoves.'
More than one blade about me slipped swiftly, menacingly, from its sheath. Miles did not budge, nor flinch, at the foot of the throne. He had a great shock of black hair. His piercing gray eyes rested upon me. I wished that I was veiled. I did not think he would ever forget what I looked like.
'Your scrolls have been examined,' said Ligurious. 'I, the Tatrix, and those of the high councils, have scrutinized them with more care than they deserved. Their evidences are false, their arguments specious, their claims fraudulent.' 'Such a dismissal of their contents I expected,' said Miles. 'I myself would not have transmitted them. Better to have sent you the defiance of Argenturn and a spear of war.'
I myself had examined the scrolls only in a sense. Excerpts had been read to me, with criticism, by Ligurious. His analysis of their contents, I did not doubt, was sound. He was a highly intelligent man, and familiar, clearly, with the geographical and political features of the problems. The issues had to do primarily with our silver mines, which, unfortunately, lay near Argenturn. Force, it seemed, was required to protect them. These mines were said to be almost as rich as those of Tharna, far to the north and east of Corcyrus. Ue claim of Argenturn, course, was that the silver mines were theirs. My education, so full and exacting in many ways, was incomplete in at least one obvious and glaring detail. I had not been taught to read Gorean. I was illiterate in Gorean.
'It is fortunate for Corcyrus, and for peace,' said Ligurious, 'that he with whom we truly have to deal is not Miles, general of Argentum, but with Claudius, her Ubar. He, I trust, is far less hotheaded. He, I trust, is more rational. He, I trust, may be expected to see reason and acknowledge, however reluctantly, the justice of our cause.'
'Corcyrus is not feared by Argentum,' said Miles.
'Yet,' smiled Ligurious, 'it seems that men with you have brought chests, bound with bands of iron, and intricately wrought coffers, to the foot of our throne.' 'That is true,' said Miles. These chests and coffers were behind him, on the floor.
'If the gifts are suitable,' said Ligurious, 'our Tatrix,-after the cession of the mines, may be moved to deal somewhat less harshly with the miscreants of Argentum.'
'I am sure that Claudius, my Ubar, would be relieved to bear that,' said Miles. Ligurious inclined big head, acknowledging these words graciously. There was some laughter about me. I heard blades being returned to sheaths.
'I see,' said Ligurious, lightly, 'that you bring With you no male silk slaves, in chains, to be presented to the Tatrix.'
'It is well known,' said Miles, 'that the Tatrix of Corcyrus is not interested in men, but only in gold and power.'
''Beware,' said Ligurious.
I did not understand, truly, the remark of Miles of Argentum. I was not interested in men, of course, I reassured myself, as a woman of Earth, but, on the other hand, I did not think that I was unusually greedy either. Such things, at any rate, were generally not uppermost in my mind. There was a difference sometimes, I supposed, between the true and reputed characters of public figures. How odd, sometimes, are fame and rumors. That I might conceivably be presented with male silk slaves took me aback for a moment but then I realized that, as a female ruler, it was not out of the question that I might be presented with such gifts.
Typical gifts for a male ruler, I knew, might include beautiful female slaves, additional riches for his pleasure gardens.
'You may now open the chests and coffers,' said Ligurious, eyeing them with interest.
'How is it,' inquired Miles, 'that the Tatrix of Corcyrus. goes unveiled?' 'It is custom,' said Ligurious.
'From our former messengers and envoys,' said Miles, gather that the custom is a new one.'
'Every custom has its beginning,' said Ligurious. I was interested to hear this. I had not realized that the custom was a recent one. Here are many justifications for initiating such a custom. Foremost among them, doubtless, is that it is now possible for her subjects to gaze upon her with awe and reverence.
'I should think, rather,' said Miles, smiling, 'that you might fear that her subjects would gaze upon her not with awe and reverence, but interest.' 'Interest?' asked Ligurions.
'Yes, said Miles, 'wondering, perhaps, what she might look like in a collar.' 'I think it is time,' said Ligurious, 'that you should improve your service to your Ubar. Let us see what gifts he proffers to- Corcyrus, petitioning for our mercy and favor.'
'Take no offense, Lady,' said Miles to me, 'for it is high commendation I extend to you. Though I have had many women far superior to you, and even in the alcoves of taverns, I am not insensitive to your beauty. It is not inconsiderable. Indeed, I have no doubt that in the middle price ranges you would prove to be a desirable buy.'
I clenched my fists on the arms of the throne. How insolent he was! How I hated him! I wondered, too, if
