'Go on,' I said.
'I felt the collars on my neck,' she said. 'The temporary collar was flat and close-fitting. It was the first collar I had ever worn. It was put on me after my branding. The retaining collar, too, was close fitting, scarcely less so, it seemed, than the collar it covered. It was heavy and thick. The chain to it was heavy, too, with thick links. It was about four feet long, it was fastened to a stout ring in the wall, about a foot above the floor.'
'And your emotions?' I asked.
'I lay there,' she said, 'my fingers on the chain, near the retaining collar.' I looked at her.
'Serenity, contentment,' she said. 'Happiness. The fighting was over.'
'When did you receive the collar of Appanius?' I asked.
'The next day,' she said, 'affixed on me by one of his agents. Later I was called for at the edifice of the magistrates by one of his slaves, driving a tharlarion wagon. He tied my hands behind my back and put a rope on my neck, by means of which he tied me to the back of the wagon. i was not to ride in the wagon. I was a female slave. I would follow it afoot, on my rope. It was thus, naked, that I was conducted to the house of my master. Twice in the streets I was struck by free women. My introduction to slavery had begun.'
'Were you angry with the slave who bound you?' I asked.
'No,' she said. 'Rather I was afraid of him. He was a male. Too, I realized I could be given to him for his pleasure, if my master wished.'
'I gather that,' I said, 'in spite of the doubtless large numbers of beautiful slaves in the house of Appanius, you were to be trained as a house slave.'
'Yes, Master,' she said.
'Do not doubt, then, your desirability and beauty,' I said.
'I tried to do well,' she said, 'to learn self-effacement and deference, to serve ably, silently and unobtrusively. I think I did well. I hardly ever felt the stroke of the house master's switch.'
'And were you silked?' I asked.
'As befits slaves,' she said, 'clad for the pleasures of masters.'
'How came you to the fields?' I asked.
'One night I, and two others, were serving not in the main hall, as we commonly did, but at a late supper, a small, private supper, laid in the very quarters of my master, Appanius, and Milo, his slave, whom you have heard of, who had returned from a performance in the great theater.'
'Appanius and Milo must be on intimate terms,' I said.
'Yes,' she said. 'The master treats him almost as though he might be a free man. They discuss matters of business and the theater. Even in the great hall, at the common suppers, he has Milo above the salt and at his right hand.'
'You must have served Milo at the common suppers then?' I asked.
'Yes,' she said.
'And as only another deferential slave,' I said.
'Of course,' she said.
'You must hate him,' I said.
'Why?' she asked.
'It was through his collusion,' I said, 'that you came into the collar.'
'Then I should be grateful to him,' she said, 'for I have known for years that it is in the collar that I belong.'
'I see,' I said.
'Besides,' she said, 'he, too, is a slave. He must act on behalf of Appanius. He, too, even though he is the great Milo, must obey. Do you think he wishes to be thrown to sleen?'
'I would not think so,' I said.
'I am far from bearing him ill will,' she said.
'I gathered that,' I said.
'Indeed,' she said, 'it was my hope that I might be thrown him, that I might at least feel his touch!'
'I see,' I said.
'He is beautiful!' she said.
'Not a bad looking fellow,' I granted her.
'And there I was,' she said, 'kneeling half naked in slave silk, collared, in bangles, waiting to serve, so close to him I could reach out and touch him, almost alone with him.'
'Continue,' I said.
'And then they began to discuss a free woman. I do not even remember her name, objectively, casually, as though she might be an animal, a mere slave, like myself. I could hardly believe my ears. And then I realized that at one time I, too, had doubtless been so discussed.'
'You were angry?' I asked.
'Not then,' she said. 'I think I was rather more scandalized that the woman should be discussed in that fashion. After all, she was not, as I, an animal, a slave.'
'But perhaps she was an animal, a slave,' I said, 'only one not yet in her collar, as once you were not yet in your collar.'
'That is undoubtedly true!' she laughed.
'But you became angry later?' I said.
'Yes!' she said.
'At whom?' I asked.
'At both of them!' she said.
'Because of the trickery they would practice,' I asked, 'because of the toils of the slave net?'
'No,' she said. 'It is rather that I did not want Milo to have anything to do with the other woman, whoever she was! There were already enough women so captured in the house! What if she were more beautiful than I? What if he liked her, when he saw her naked in the net?'
'You were jealous of a possible rival,' I said.
'Yes!' she said.
'But there have apparently been a great many,' I said.
'I was distraught,' she said. 'I was furious! My heart was beating wildly. Then I felt futile, helpless and miserable. I could do nothing! Such as I are completely at the mercy of our masters! I was only a slave! And then there were tears in my eyes, and Milo was so beautiful! I wanted him to see me, to notice me. I did not wish to be just another slave in the background, unrecognized, so simply taken for granted, serving but almost unnoticed, present but scarcely seen. I reached out, with tears in my eyes, and put my fingers on his arm.'
'Continue,' I said.
'He seemed startled that I had done this, as though he might not believe it. I looked at him, tears in my eyes, kneeling there, appealing to him, that he might take notice of me, though I were only a slave.'
'Yes?' I said.
'This was noted, of course, by my master, Appanius. Appar ently I had not realized the grievousness of what I had done. He leaped to his feet! His eyes blazed. He was beside himself with anger. 'Guards! Guards! he cried, clapping his hands. I knelt small there by the table, trembling, my head down. I knew I had done wrong, daring to touch Milo, I, he so favored by the master and I only a house slave, but I had been unable to help myself. I so wanted to be brought to his attention! But never yet had he requested me, nor had I been put naked to my knees before him, my hands bound behind me in slave bracelets, the key about my neck, for his pleasure. I knew I had done wrong, but I had not understood that it was so terrible. I had only wanted to call myself to his attention, and had hoped doubtless that he might sometimes be moved to take pity on a poor slave. 'Guards! Guards! cried Appanius. I was terrified. I trembled, not understanding the immensity of his anger, the enormity of his response to my tiny, pathetic deed. Guards rushed into the room, blades free of scabbards, the doors bursting open. Perhaps they had feared an attempt was in progress on the master's life. In a moment they were about me. I feared I was to be cut to pieces. He struggled, it seemed, to control himself. 'Forgive me, Master! I wept. I crawled to him, my head down. 'Forgive me, Master! I wept. I kissed his feet, fervently. He pulled away, in anger. He moved to the side. He kicked me twice, in fury. I returned to him on my belly, and showered my hair upon his sandals, and then again kissed his feet, again and again. 'Forgive me, Master! I wept, an errant slave, one who
