community, to
‘Yeah,’ said Millat sadly, in mid-roll of a new spliff. ‘I don’t really look at it like that. I guess I
‘
‘Jones,
Hifan shook his head with a smile. ‘I left the English education system some time ago. But my education is far from over. If I can quote to you from the Tabrizi, hadith number 220:
‘Mill,’ whispered Irie, beneath Hifan’s flow of mellifluous sound. ‘
‘For
Irie pulled deeply on her joint and relayed her news. Millat sighed. ‘Irie, they come in one side and we go out the other. No biggie. It’s a regular deal. All right? Now why don’t you go and play with the kiddies? Serious business here.’
‘It was good to meet you, Irie,’ said Hifan, reaching out his hand and looking her up and down. ‘If I might say so, it is refreshing to see a woman who dresses demurely, wearing her hair short. KEVIN believes a woman should not feel the need to pander to the erotic fantasies of Western sexuality.’
‘Er, ye-ah. Thanks.’
Feeling sorry for herself and more than a bit stoned, Irie made her way back through the wall of smoke and stepped through Joshua Chalfen’s
‘Hey, we’re trying to play here!’
Irie whipped round, full of swallowed fury. ‘AND?’
Joshua’s friends – a fat kid, a spotty kid and a kid with an abnormally large head – shrank back in fear. But Joshua stood his ground. He played oboe behind Irie’s second viola in the excuse for a school orchestra, and he had often observed her strange hair and broad shoulders and thought he might have half a chance there. She was clever and not entirely un-pretty, and there was something in her that had a strongly nerdy flavour about it, despite that boy she spent her time with. The Indian one. She hung around him, but she wasn’t
‘I’m just
‘No, I don’t want to play with you, you fucking prick. I don’t even
‘Joshua Chalfen. I was in Manor Primary. And we’re in English together.
‘No, we’re
The goblin, the elder and the dwarf, who appreciated a good play on words, had a snivelly giggle at that one. But insults meant nothing to Joshua. Joshua was the Cyrano de Bergerac of taking insults. He’d taken insults (from the affectionate end,
‘I like what you’ve done with your hair.’
‘Are you taking the piss?’
‘No, I like short hair on girls. I like that androgyny thing. Seriously.’
‘What is your fucking problem?’
Joshua shrugged. ‘Nothing. The vaguest acquaintance with basic Freudian theory would suggest you are the one with the problem. Where does all that aggression come from? I thought smoking was meant to chill you out. Can I have some?’
Irie had forgotten the burning joint in her hand. ‘Oh, yeah, right. Regular puff-head, are we?’
‘I dabble.’
The dwarf, elder and goblin emitted some snorts and liquid noises.
‘Oh, sure,’ sighed Irie reaching down to pass it to him. ‘Whatever.’
‘Irie!’
It was Millat. He had forgotten to take his joint off Irie and was now running over to retrieve it. Irie, about to hand it over to Joshua, turning around in mid-action, at one and the same time spotted Millat coming towards her and felt a rumble in the ground, a tremor that shook Joshua’s tiny cast-iron goblin army to their knees and then swept them off the board.
‘What the – ’ said Millat.
It was the raid committee. Taking the suggestion of Parent-Governor Archibald Jones, an ex- army man who claimed expertise in the field of ambush, they had resolved to come from
The headmaster of Glenard Oak was in a continual state of implosion. His hairline had gone out and stayed out like a determined tide, his eye sockets were deep, his lips had been sucked backwards into his mouth, he had no body to speak of, or rather he folded what he had into a small, twisted package, sealing it with a pair of crossed arms and crossed legs. As if to counter this personal, internal collapse, the headmaster had the seating arranged in a large circle, an expansive gesture he hoped would help everybody speak to and see each other, allowing everybody to
‘So,’ said the headmaster to Tina with a doleful smile, ‘what are these three scallywags up for, then?’
Wearily, Tina read out the three counts of ‘mari-jew-ana’ possession. Irie put her hand up to object, but the headmaster silenced her with a gentle smile.
‘I see. That’ll be all, Tina. If you could just leave the door ajar on your way out, yes, that’s it, bit more…
‘I need a fag,’ said Millat.
The headmaster rearranged himself. He uncrossed his right leg and slung his skinny left leg